Not allowed to sleep in the same bed?!?

Question

so im 20 my boyfriend Kaeta he is 25
and when ever i go over to his families house and we stay over were not allowed to sleep together..which i guess i understand cause they are Korean but i mean...ive dated him for 3 years. and were still not allowed to

and its the same with my Godparents. whenever we go over to their place we arent allowed to sleep in the same bed together. like this halloween. seperate rooms seperate beds. its ridiculous. i mean about a year ago there was some abuse in our relationship but its getting better. but could this be why? or is it just cause they are prudes. i mean they already know i have sex and im not going to have it at their house

can someone please explain to me what i can do to get this fixed?
for both places

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

They are giving you incentive to get married.

It's their little way of saying if you were married you wouldn't have to put up with this.

If you ask they will say it is tradition. If they didn't think you should get married they wouldn't have allowed one or the other of you to stay at their house overnight.

Think of it as being lovingly teased by family.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

lol well thank you for your opinion :) i do not plan on getting married anytime soon. but i hope you are right :)

Answer 2

get your own place and then you don't have stay at there house and yes it is a respect thing and does your godparents have young kids in the house and if so then i can see where they are coming from and has for his parents they are from korea they are very old world and you should respect that and so should there son if you want them to respect you you must return the same respect to all of them and stop being a child about the whole thing ITS CALLED RESPECT

Answer 3

This happens at my fiancee's parents house. Its there house, and just whatever makes them comfortable, stands. He asked them if we can sleep in the same bed, and they freaked. *chuckles*

Dont worry, once you two get married, everything will be "normal".

Answer 4

Its just that they want for you guys to have respect for their house.. just do it its not hard and its not bad. They know you are having sex and they just dont want for you guys to do it at their house thats all.

Answer 5

Well Im not sure if I can help but it sounds like they are very old school. I also know beings from lets say Asian decent that it brings a type of disrespect to the family values to allow this. If you were married it would be different.

Answer 6

It's a respect thing. That's their home, and they don't want you to sleep together there, even though you are sexually active. You should quit whining and respect their wishes in their homes. They aren't being prudes!

Answer 7

get over yourself, their house, their rules b!tch

Answer 8

Get married. Problem solved

Answer 9

Well, i guess some people are just really old fashioned with the whole no sex thing till marriage. I think it's stupid, because you are both adults, and are entitled to make your own descisions.
You could just try explaining this to them, that you are old enough to do what you want with your boyfriend, and it is up to you.
But if they still disagree, i guess you would just have to respect their beliefs under their roof.
I suppose it could also be down to the abuse, so they might be worried anything like that could happen again, but if it has always been that they won't let you sleep in the same bed, then its just ptobably their own morals.