Is love really suppose to be painful?

Question

At times im so happy and it feels like we have the most perfect relationship. Then at other times i feel like shes still searching around

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Yeah, sometimes love is this painful. However, it doesn't always have to be. For instance, maybe she really can't be trusted. If she's dishonest or disrespectful, then its possible she is still searching around. If that's the case, then you shouldn't be with her. If love isn't mutual, then its not healthy. It's possible that you're in an unhealthy relationship, and that the love she has for you isn't genuine, even if your love for her is.

Another possibility is that you're insecure. Certainly, you may have reason to be insecure, if again, she can't be trusted. However, if she can be trusted, and your insecurity really is your problem, and not hers, then you'll never be happy with anyone, until you solve your problem. You may have walls-up and you may fear that someone will abandon you. Perhaps you have abandonment issues parents who left, separated or divorced. Maybe someone you loved died. Maybe you were in a relationship and she cheated on you, and now you judge all women, including your current, girlfriend, based upon the actions of another from your past. Either way, you shouldn't judge others, for something they didn't do. That's prejudice. Prejudice means to pre-judge, and that may be what is leading to the insecurity.

Its possible the insecurity also stems from low self-esteem, low self-confidence, a negative body-image, or depression (biological or situational). You may think, oh, why would she even want me. And you may be your own worst critic. Then you may think, there are better guys out there and sooner or later she'll see that and will leave you for one of them, if she hasn't already begun looking, or searching-around, as you put it.

If this is the case, then you need to deal with those issues. Maybe consider getting some therapy or at least talking to someone about what's bothering you. Hopefully, if you're in love, you can even talk to her. Taking to her may be the best solution.

Love can be this painful sometimes, but you should be able to communicate with one another and work-out your problems. Conflict occurs in relationships and some conflict is even healthy. No couple is perfect, but there needs to be open and honest communication and as long as you have good conflict resolution, you'll be alright.

If you still feel this way, then maybe she's not the right girl for you. As much as you love her, you two may not be compatible. Sometimes you need more than love, to make a relationship work. But, before you give-up, at least talk to her and tell her how you feel and find-out why you feel this way. See if you can fix things and maybe make things a little less painful. If you love her, you should be able to talk to her about these kinda things.

Best of luck in life and love. :-)

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks man i really apreciate your response

Answer 2

No pain, no gain... (so yes)

Source(s):

God.

Answer 3

its not suppose to be painfull..its not gonna be perfect all the time let me tell ya but just as long as she makes you happy and you make her happy you should be in a good relationship...that would drive me insane if if i thought he was still searching around and id have to just ask and get the honest truth..

Answer 4

why do you think they call it a rollercoaster? problem is we all have insecurities and they come through in our relationships because you can never really be 100% sure that your bf/gf is being honest, faithfull, etc.