I was forced into my engagement?

Question

I'm 17 and my girlfriend who is also the mother of my almost 2 month old son Joesph forced me to get engaged last night. We had a one night stand months ago that was the night Joesph was conceived. She told me on Monday she would ******* blow her brains out if we don't get married. She told me she can't raise Joesph alone. She lives in a different city and i come see her as often as i can and take care of my son. I love him he is the mist important thing in my life. She is in love with me and tells me Joesph is a sign from god we belong together. The problem is i don't love her i love my EX Brooke who is in rehab to overcome her addiction to drugs. She was in jail when Joesph was conceived and i cheated on her. I went to her house yesterday to tell her we can't get married and she had a gun pointed to her head and was about to pull the trigger when i told her i would marry her. Should i marry her or not what should i do?

Additional Details

i am paying child support it's hard because i don't have a job. I didn't cheat on her i cheated on my EX Brooke with her and i still love Brooks she is making a hell of an effort and sacrifice to get clean and I'm so proud of her.

I'm concerned i care about her and as much as i love and care for Joesph i don't want full Cousteau i can't raise him on my own it's hard enough to pay child support. I don't think she is mentally unstable it might not be that bad if we get married I've been trying to learn to love her maybe i can learn if we get marriage.

Her parents and me get along really so i could talk to them

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I feel sorry for Joseph. Look what he's got for a father... a lying, cheating schmuck who is obsessed with a worthless ex and leaves him in an unsafe situation with an unstable mother.

If you really loved Joseph, you would do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER to get him away from his mentally unstable mother. But you're not thinking about Joseph and how hard his life is, are you? Noooo, you're thinking about how hard YOUR life is. How selfish can you be? Word to the wise, buddy... when you become a parent, your life stops being about you. It starts being about your children, first, and always.

Grow up. For Joseph's sake.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

OK i will get custody but i don't wanna push her over the edge i will still marry her because i am a man of my word i love Joesph more than anything it's just tough being a parent at my age especially when you were expecting a child and when the mother is someone you hardly know.

Answer 2

Get her into counseling immediately.

The next time she pulls that type of threat, take her to the hospital emergency department.

Answer 3

You blew your wad and brought this upon yourself! Be a man and take the responsibility. Raise your son right, so that he doesn't make the same mistake you did.

Straight up and fly right... Don't make your life one big mistake.

Answer 4

I would say own up to your mistakes and marry her...but maybe she is better off if you just support her financially or however else she needs the support to raise the kid. Poor girl doesn't need a cheating idiot for a husband. You need to start making some better choices son.

Answer 5

You need to get your son out of that situation. She needs help big time. Do not marry this woman.

Answer 6

Do you want to live in hell the rest of your life? If you don't love this girl do not marry her. Make sure you tell her parent's, your parent's, and the police that she isn't stable and she states that if you don't marry her she will kill herself, if she does, everyone knows.A marriage would not work.

Answer 7

the child comes first. you should tell her how you feel and that you'll help raise the kid. I agree with DArren though, its time to take responsability.

Answer 8

Do NOT marry her. You will be divorced by age 20 and then she'll get half your stuff. She's using the ol' suicide ploy as a way to guilt you into marriage... and clearly it worked. If she wanted to blow her brains out that badly, she would have done so already.

If she really is that mentally unstable then you need to get a lawyer and get custody of your son. He doesn't need to be raised by a nut job.

In the meantime, help her out financially (I assume you have some kind of child support arrangement) and try to be there as often as you can for your son. Maybe when you're finished with school you can consider moving to be closer to him.

Answer 9

WOWWWW.. this is definitely a manipulation tactic that women try to pull. DO NOT FALL FOR IT... People that really commit suicide and want to, do it in the confounds of their own private walls. She would have done it already.

But I would petition the court for full custody. She is unstable, immature, and a nut case if you want my opinion. NEVER GET INTO MARRIAGE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. Because you don't love her,the marriage will end it divorce. So either she is going to shoot herself now or then.. It's a lose-lose situation.

Not trying to be cruel... PROMISE, but this is not an environment to have a child in or to start a marriage

Answer 10

She needs help.
You guys are SO young. You have lots of time to find someone to settle down with.

Is there someone you can talk to about her? Talk to a counselor, her parents, maybe a trusted teacher? Tell them the situation. Get her some help. And break off your engagement.

Answer 11

First and foremost you need to get the mother of your son some help. She obviously has some things that she needs to work out with a professional. Being supportive and encouraging doesnt have to mean that you are in love with her. It means that you want her to get better so that she can be a good mother.

Good luck!!!!!

Answer 12

DON'T marry her. DO live up to your legal obligations.

I guess if she blew her brains out, you wouldn't have to worry about child support. Oops... did I type that out loud??? Just kidding, of course.

Girl should get professional help immediately.

Answer 13

That's definately a threat to your son. Whether or not she pointed the gun at him. I would seriously get the cops on her. Also, I would fight for your sons custody because she's obviously not ok in her head to be taking care of a kid. Do not marry her.