How can I earn her trust?

Question

Here goes. I like this girl and she likes me, but we broke up after going out for about 4-5 months. Yet we still hang out and do stuff we did when we were dating (cuddling, making out etc), just now we both label ourselves "single". I do it for her though. She doesn't do this stuff with anyone else.

That's just explaining the current situation. Now I'll try to explain the problem.

Up until around 4 years ago she lived with her mom and siblings in _______, while her dad lived here. She used to just visit her dad for a week or two every 2 months. Right before she turned 11 her dad took her here (I'm 14 and she just turned 15) and emotionally damaged her because she didn't want to leave _______. Now she goes to therapy every week and goes back to __________ 1-2 times a year, for up to a month at a time.

Now I'm (apparently) her favourite guy overall and her favourite person here but she doesn't trust me as much as she trusts other guy friends from where she used to live, I have no idea how close they are/were though. Her reasons are: That they knew her before she was depressed, and that she grew up with them. An example of the trust is that they apparently have dance parties in their underwear and play strip poker on rooftops. (Not just her and the guys, a bunch of friends)

Her excuse to not do things here is "I just don't feel comfortable." She refuses to go swimming at a public pool here but went multiple times in Winnipeg without friends, something that she loves doing apparently, just not here.

I don't know if it's me or where I am or what but she doesn't do anything here that she did there. Her only defense for herself is "Yeah, but I grew up there" Yet she's spent about 5-6 years here as well. Admittedly I have only known her for the past 3 years but we're very close and I don't understand why she just doesn't trust people here yet, other than her therapist.

Additional Details

I have absolutely NO idea how to spell where she came from by the way. Thats what the ______ are.

I don't know if you understand completely, she lived with her mom for 11 years and started seeing her dad when she was around 7-8. Then 4 years ago he just uprooted her from her mom and siblings to live with him and his new wife and step kids, a few blocks away from me.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I think it's her and not you who has the trust issues and it stems from her family problems. I think she trusts you more than anyone else with where she is now but you can clearly see that she misses her old town where she felt comfortable which is why she says that she can trust those people. this has nothing to do with you, but her. Just be there for her. I think she appreciates you.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks, that helped, but not as much as I'd hoped. :)

Answer 2

ok that is totally not ur fault
everyone gets over things at a quicker rait than others but she needs to get over it
my parents r in the military so she is lucky she doesn't have to move as much as i have 2
i move every 2-3 years
but just keep letting her know that u r there nd if she doesn't trust u by next year then she's not worth it bc she will never get over it nd move on