I need help. he cheated on me.?

Question

Well, i was hearing that my boyfriend was cheating on me, from EVERYONE! I was afraid to ask him.. because he would just deny it. I got my best friend to act like his ex girlfriend on 3way. She flirts and goes , do you miss me ? He replies, More than anything in the world. She goes, Will you cheat on your girlfreind with me ? He replies, Yea, but you cant say anything. At this point i was in a total shock. He calls me next and goes, Hey baby what are you doing, i reply , i was on the phone the whole time and i know youre cheating on me, he replys, you think im cheating on you ? I say Yea. He goes bye and hangs up. I cry and cry and cry. & now he wants me back, and i still like him alot, I just need help on what to do.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

I'm really sorry that you feel so heartbroken. I know what that feels like and no one will disagree with you that it downright sucks. But what sucks even more is the fact that you are heartbroken because he cheated on you. And you know he did. And you know you can't trust him - and that hurts because you did trust him. But you can't trust this guy again. His words do not mean anything anymore and he lost that trust when he decided to do that. You know you can't go back to him. As much as you are going to miss him and cry over him and want him back - be strong and hang in there. You will make it through this. It's funny. I was just talking to my friend the other day who just went through a huge breakup over the summer and she's finally like "it's so weird to be on the other side of it all and see i'm surviving and doing good like this". And I said - I know. Because when it happens, especially for a first heartbreak you feel there is no other side because you have never seen the other side. But you will, I promise. This guy does not deserve you at all and you don't want a guy who you can't feel safe and happy with. Again, I know it's going to hurt but don't be afraid to cry it out and talk with your friends lots and make sure you get out and have some fun with them. Friends are there for us because they are often the medicine we need.

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Answer 2

Why do you even need to ask? Don't stay with a cheater. Have more respect for yourself.

Answer 3

Don't do it, he will just hurt you again.

Answer 4

be strong and don't go back to him it might take some time but you will get over him and you will be a better person from all of this...once a cheater always a cheater...it would be very dangerous to go back to him he could bring so many dangerous diseases back to you...so be strong and respect yourself! i know to many girls including my sister and best friend who keep going back to their cheating boyfriends and they always end up miserable...please don't go back to him!!!

Answer 5

after some time, if he apologises many many many many times and gives you gifts and stuff, give him one chance. ONLY ONE. if he does it agian dump him and cuss him out :D

Answer 6

That's wrong. No girl, your straight up stupid if you take him back. He doesn't deserve you. If he said that to her then you should already know that hes going to cheat any other time. Don't answer his calls or text for like a week make him realize what he lost. I know its hard but its for the best. He'll be blowing your phone up and maybe he'll figure out that hes dumb n shouldnt have done that. If you feel that hes forreal then give him one more chance but if it happens again dont take him back. You should give a second chance so he can learn from his mistake but dont take him back right away make him suffer

Answer 7

What you can do, is have some self-respect and understand that you deserve better than this. You caught this guy red-handed, and you can't possibly realistically think he'll ever change. Very few cheaters ever really change.

The ones who do change, change for one very good reason, because they aren't enabled and they realize there are negative consequences for their actions.

If you take him back, what you are doing, is telling him, its alright if you cheat on me, because I deserve it, and you can get away with it. Not only can you get away with it, but there are absolutely zero repercussions for your negative behavior. You're actually telling him, yes this is negative behavior, but here is the reward of getting to keep me.

By staying, you're rewarding his negative behavior. Oh sure, he hears you crying and he knows darn well its negative behavior, but he's being rewarded for it. This is called enabling. Enabling is when they know its wrong, but they're rewarded for it. Its kinda like when a wife turns the other cheek, when she finds-out her husband is an alcoholic and pretends like he isn't. He knows darn well he is, but no one seems to care, so he keeps doing it. Well, this guy will keep cheating on you, because you are putting-up with it.

Not only that, but it will get worse, far worse, because now he knows that your self-esteem, self-respect and body-image are so low, that he can get away with just about anything. All the rules are completely gone now. This sort of thing only tends to escalate, rather than improve. He can get away with so much more now.

If you don't believe me, then think about kids. Kids test their parents boundaries all the time. Chances are you did too as a kid. Heck, we all did. Most parents snap at us and say, you're not in charge, you're not the alpha-dog, now get back in place and stop testing my boundaries, because I'm not putting-up with that. Then the kid reluctantly shows that parent some respect, and views them as an authority. But parents who spoil their kids loose all respect and those kids turn-out to be little monsters. We've all seen these bratty little kids, and none of us can stand them. Well, this bratty little kid grew-up and he still thinks he can get away with it. Don't let him.

Saying you're in the dog-house doesn't get through to these people. What registers in their brain, is being dumped. And not just being dumped by one person, but being dumped by every single person who they cheat-on. If even one of his girlfriends puts-up with it, and takes him back, she'll undo all the work the other women did. He'll figure the other women over-reacted and he wont learn from his mistake.

If you want any chance at him ever improving, then you have to dump him for this. Also, how stupid is he, that he can't tell his ex-girlfriend's voice from your bestfriend's voice. I'm not sure you should be with a guy who's that foolish. You can do so much better, and you deserve so much better. You're a clever girl, and you deserve someone really great.

I know you still like him, but his actions are screaming, "I HATE YOU AND HAVE ZERO RESPECT FOR YOU!!!" 80% of all communication is non-verbal and his non-verbals are screaming at you. Oh sure, his words are saying he loves you too, but his actions are speaking way louder than his words. The fact his words are saying this, but his actions are clearly saying something else, also indicates he's lying, on top of cheating. At least if he was honest about his cheating, you could have at least something, but no, this guy wont even tell the truth, which you clearly deserve.

You deserve better, and he doesn't deserve you.

Best of luck in life and love. :-)