The Home Front: Dealing With Family Members
“Home Sweet Home.” This familiar saying expresses a sentiment that nowadays seems hopelessly outmoded. Unrelenting family conflicts turn many homes into veritable battlefields. And a yawning communication gap often frustrates any attempts at calling a truce.
Do you want your home to be a haven of peace instead of a hotbed of hostility? True, other family members must do their part. But by mastering a few Bible principles, there is much you can do to contribute to the peace of your home.
“HONOR your father and your mother.” To many youths these words sound like something out of the Dark Ages.
What ‘Honoring’ Them Means
“Honor” involves recognizing duly constituted authority. For instance, Christians are commanded to “have honor for the king.” (1 Peter 2:17) While you may not always agree with a national ruler, his position or office is still to be respected. Similarly, God has vested parents with certain authority in the family. This means that you must recognize their God-given right to make rules for you. True, other parents may be more lenient than yours are. Your parents, though, have the job of deciding what is best for you—and different families may have different standards.
It is also true that even the best of parents can occasionally be arbitrary—even unfair. But at Proverbs 7:1, 2 one wise parent said: “My son [or daughter], . . . keep my commandments and continue living.” Likewise, your parents’ rules, or “commandments,” are usually intended for your good and are an expression of their genuine love and concern. Following is a true Story
John, for example, had repeatedly been told by his mother that he should always use the walkway over the six-lane highway near their home. One day, two girls from school dared him to take the shortcut across the road itself. Ignoring their taunts of “chicken!” John took the walkway. Partway across, John heard the sound of screeching tires. Looking down, he watched in horror as the two girls were hit by a car and hurled into the air! Granted, obeying your parents is seldom a matter of life and death. Nevertheless, obedience usually benefits you.
‘Honoring your parents’ also means accepting correction, not sulking or throwing tantrums when it is administered. Only a fool “disrespects the discipline of his father,” says Proverbs 15:5.
Finally, showing honor means more than just rendering formal respect or begrudging obedience. The original Greek verb rendered “honor” in the Bible basically means to consider someone as of great value. Parents should thus be viewed as precious, highly esteemed, and dear to you. This involves having warm, appreciative feelings for them. However, some youths have anything but warm feelings toward their parents.
Don't fight talk it out.