Do you believe that prospective adoptive parents who are looking to adopt a newborn privately would consider..?

Question

....foster adoption?

Or are we wasting our "breath" by suggesting it?

Additional Details

@Randy: I would agree that many people don't know fost/adoption is a possibility...Too bad the cuts in this province shut down "Be My Parents" this past April, eh? :-(

@H******: In our province (where both Randy and I live) we used to have a publically funded agency (which I just referred to in my comment to Randy) called "Be My Parents". They were responsible for educating and recruiting prospective foster/adoptive parents. They did TV spots, set up kiosks, and tried to educate the public at large about kids sitting in foster care.

Government cuts came into effect this year, and it was one of the first things to go. :-(

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

We are looking to adopt a child under 4 privately AND have an application for foster care adoption as well. So, although we do not necessarily want a newborn (actually we would prefer not to), we WOULD do foster adoption in a heartbeat.

To fully disclose, we were not looking into foster adoption until the last few months in part because it was such smooth sailing with the private adoption process last time that we just went with what worked before.

But thanks to AnnaBelle, LooneyTunes and a few others here...we got educated and now it can't happen fast enough.

Especially since we have identified a little one we would love to take in but the paperwork isn't done. Sigh...'dems the rules.

Also, since our son started his first 10 months in foster care before he came to us through a private adoption, we saw the need and potential for these kids BUT still had some misconceptions and fear of the unknown. BUT THAT WAS THEN.

Not a waste of time at all...but your "target" group may be smaller than we would like.

ETA: Re: "spending millions etc..": Given that our province (Ontario) spent tons of money getting a panel and follow up report produced to improve the adoption symptom and included funding fertility treatments etc..I think there IS MONEY to better advertise the plight and potential of foster kids.

Source(s):

Proud adoptive parent of a great kid who also works for the provincial government.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Good to hear. ;-)

Thanks, everyone!

Answer 2

Just as foster adoptions don't fit every circumstance and every family, every family does not fit foster adoptions.

I think that as an option it should be presented to everyone who wants to adopt so they can determine if it is right for them. It wasn't until we started in the process that we realized that the private adoption system was different from the foster care/adoption system and that even within the foster/adoption system there are other agencies working not just the Provincial government.

All too often people just want to adopt and they fixate on the method they know about or they are most families with and don't realize the other possibilities. Given the vary nature of the systems however they can't be combined but perhaps it just means that foster adoptions need to advertise more and get themselves "out there" so that more know about it.

ETA: To H******, I don't expect the foster adopt systems to be able to get "millions of dollars" to advertise but they do need to do more and will of course need funding to do that. With the amount of money that gets spent to sustain the system and care for the children, that in many cases won't be adopted, it just seems to make good business sense to spend more on advertisement and enlightenment to open avenues for these kids to be adopted and therefore out of the system. Sometimes you need to spend more to save more. It's not just for Pete's sake but also for Tom's, Jane's, Martha's and all of the other homeless children currently in foster care (which I happen to have already adopted through).

Answer 3

I think some would, yes. I don't think we're wasting our breath suggesting it.

Yes, some are just closed minded and feel entitled to a baby on account of the fact they're willing to pay for one

However some who've dismissed the idea of foster adoption without really giving it much thought may change their minds if they are open minded enough just to investigate it a little more.

The kids waiting for homes need to be brought into the foremost of people's minds whilst they're bemoaning the amount of time they're having to 'wait' for the perceived 'perfect' infant. They wait and the kids wait, it makes no sense at all.

ETA: I'm wondering where Randy expects the foster adopt system to get the Millions of dollars that the private industry spends on advertising from for pete's sake!

Source(s):

Adoption: Finding homes for children not finding babies for paying customers

Answer 4

I'm of the opinion that even if only one person in ten million decides to look into foster caring instead of adoption as a result of my words, then that's one more than there was before, and so it's a start.

Trust me, educating people is NEVER a waste of breath.

Answer 5

Not really, they want what they want.
Just like how many looking to adopt newborns read what adopted people have to say, what natural mothers have to say, but dismiss it as if they're so special they can overcome any of "that" when they get theirs.

Answer 6

I think get rid of private adoption and let's see. Then they have to put their openess straight away. CAS and Social Services can handle it. This is how it is done in SK as there is no current private adoption agency.

Answer 7

Dear Annabelle,

I do believe that some may consider foster care adoption. I agree with 7rin, if we reach only one.....its worth it. The bigger picture is our obligation to dispel the myths.

~Mothers will get over relinquishing their children.

~Adopted children will grow up just like biological children with no issues.

~Love will heal the pain away for the adoptee.

~Foster care children are "broken" and too much work for the average person to parent.


and I could go on and on..........Three of my friends have adopted newborns thru foster care and only one infant was drug exposed. Hopefully one day the truth will become as infectious as the myths.

Source(s):

adoptive mom

Answer 8

I know of many couples (through my parents foster/adoption support group they run) who have considered private adoption then have switched to adoption through foster care.

Also keep in mind that not *all* private adoptions are horendous. I was adopted privately as a newborn, while my parents were foster parents and adopted from foster care as well as having bio children. In my case my adoption quite literally saved my life and was the best thing that could have happened to me. Just putting that in there lol.

But it all just depends on the person.

Source(s):

Adult adoptee.

Answer 9

I wish they would. If a mother is adamant is that she wants to surrender then she shouldn't be forced to parent BUT with so many children in the foster care system I wish more was done to encourage prospective adoptive parents to think about this option.

Answer 10

We looked at fost adopt first, and were told that it would be a very long wait to get a child under 5. We were not ready to adopt an older child at that time. It was our county's adoption agency that suggested private adoption. That is when we looked into private - newborn adoption. I think both are acceptable, but there are ethical lapses. People should know the situation and not turn a blind eye to corruption just to get a child.

Answer 11

i never heard of that