How do I get rid of the "fantasies" I have where I get hurt?

Question

Please, don't call me psychotic. I just need some advice as to where to go from here. I'm currently 14 and female (in case you couldn't tell by the name or photo ;) ).

I think I remember things really starting when I was 11.

But ever since I was little, I would love to see the hospital scenes on the TV. Like if someone was in the hospital, I always wanted to see it. In fact, I would sometimes (and even up until recently did) make up scenes where a certain character I favour is saving the day and ends up injured or something like that and everyone pays attention to him/ her.

But I also remember this starting when I was 11: I would always make up stories in my head where I was the victim. It got worst when I was probably 12 or 13. I would complain over minor things to people whose attention I 'craved'. For example, if I got a sore wrist, I'd wear a tensor bandage. Or if my knee hurt, I'd go get ice, even though it was probably just a growing pain. Most of the time it was in my head though. Like thinking about what it would be like if I had to tell a certain person I had cancer or something.

At the age of 13 (in my summer before 8th grade) I decided this is enough. I have to stop this type of thinking. It is not normal. I read that building your self confidence could help. So I tried that and within hiurs, the fantasies had no more appeal.

Before I continue, you should note that I like these fantasies, they're not something I exactly dread. But when I'm making up one of the stories in my head, I really enjoy it. I do dislike the fact that I enjoy it and I am aware that this is not normal.

But despite my confidence efforts, they came back. One slip up where I said "It's okay, it's been a bad day, you can think about one of your stories" leads to two, which leads to three and sooner or later I'm back to the abnormal fantasies.

I was doing really well since I started high school in September. I had maybe a few days where they came back. And once in a while where they had little or no appeal. But a week ago I felt like I was going to pass out in class one day, I didn't tell anyone until that evening but after that they came back. I am currently in a state where they are somewhat appealing to me.

So I once asked this question on an alternate account. (This is also an alternate account, my friends cannot see this question, but I will still choose a best answer). One girl said she was 21 and still had these types of fantasies. I was thinking I could still live with them, but I realize I shouldn't.

I have dreams for my future. My job, my family, all that stuff. But when I think about it I don't want that perfect future I have planned to be plagued with these sick thoughts. I don't want to have them. It makes me feel embarassed to even think about myself. I can't confront anybody about it because I am so ashamed. I know I should see a therapist of some sort, but 1. I don't know how I'd approach him/ her 2. I don't know how to ask my mom about that or how to keep it private and 3. I don't want to be said to be mentally unstable or something and be put in a mental institution.

So what would be advisable to do from here?

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

It may just be puberty. Your body is (and has been) going through immense changes during the last few years. Many of these changes happen in your brain, changing the way your thought patterns develop.You thoughts about wanting to tell people that your hurt and acting injured (when you know that you actually aren't) seem to be an amplified occurrence of the natural female response to stress. Many young girls your age will act like their hurt when they really aren't because (subconsciously) they want sympathy and attention. It is also used to get out of uncomfortable/stressful situations. (You know how in the wild when some animals will "play dead" when threatened...it's comparable to that) The most common way this stress response is displayed by adolescent girls is by pretending to faint. I remember once or twice in grade 9 (once during a french test that I had forgotten about and hadn't studied for) thinking "I could pretend to faint...then I could take it tomorrow." Many other times, I would just randomly wonder what would happen if I just fell to the ground and acted like I was unconscious. It wasn't until a few years later until I learned that preteen girls pretending to faint/faking injuries was almost commonplace.

My advice would be to continue working on your confidence building and wait. Eventually, once you brain activity and hormones have leveled off and if you have good self esteem, your subconscious will realize that these fantasies are no longer required and they will stop on their own. You can also email me if you want to talk about some more. Good Luck!

Source(s):

psych student

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

This is the most helpful thing I have ever read on this.
My mom studied psych (she did a lot of studying with adolescents if I remember correctly) and I tried to go through her text books but I didn't really know what to look for.
I cannot express how grateful I am for this answer. Thank you! :)

Answer 2

Please please tell your mom your dad,don't ever wait anymore.It's doesn't mean if your thinking of those things you said,that they will put you in a mental institution never think like that you are not crazy.You just need some help from a therapist.And never think that you are crazy,just explain it to your family doctor and he will put you in contact with a specialist.Please don't wait there are treatment out there now.Why suffer with those thought when you can be help.If your afraid to tell your mom well show her what i wrote to you she will understand cause mothers nose best for there children's.God love you i do.

Source(s):

I started a depression when i was 27 years old and still in depression and i am 53 years old.I am not crazy,just i needed some medication for my depression that the therapist doctor had to prescribed to me.And i had thought to in my head but defferent then yours.Take care sweaty.From a mom who cares,Happy Holidays.Take care.