How do I choose between a job and relationship?

Question

Here's the skinny: I have lived my whole life in one place, and then moved somewhere for grad school. My fiance and I have had a long-distance relationship for 5 years (8 hours apart, weekend visits about once a month). She has lived all over growing up and now has a stable job near her family. She has absolutely refused to move away from her family when it comes time for me to find a job.

I'm about to get a PhD and want to make sure I take advantage of it. There are job opportunities around the country, but I have not really pursued them so that I can find something near home (we both are from the same area), even though it would be almost a step down from the work I have been doing. I recently found out that there is an opening basically with my name on that would greatly increase my skill set for the future, but it's here at my grad school.

I am having to decide if it's worth staying here and working for another couple years with the hope I will be more marketable to get better jobs back home, or to move home without a job lined up so we can re-establish our relationship. Personally, I feel like I would benefit from keeping the job here, but my fiance has been with me for 5 years with the hope that I would be home, and I would feel terrible to lose her after all the loyalty she's shown me. I love her very much, but the career/relationship debate has been nagging us for several years now.

Any advice? Thanks!

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Well that is a hard call to make but think about this .If you can not support yourself then how can you support her when you get married? You have to do what you have to do . Jobs are hard to come by and if she really loves you then she will agree to this. But if she dosent well ok then but you spent a lot of time training for this job and it would be a total waste of your money and time . She needs to give and take a little also don't you think? If she is not willing to do this then she is trying to control you and you do not need that Not now , not ever.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks. Objectively, I think that's how I see it too.

Answer 2

Props for anybody who reads that!!!!
Edit: Yeah you did.

Answer 3

i would go with job if its not a u know a real real realionship
Plus u get MONEY $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$…
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$…
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$… LOL

Answer 4

vagina or money hmm?

Answer 5

your career. You've worked too hard for too long to not try and become and do the highest and greatest work you can do. If she is refusing to budge and move herself, then why should you be the one to do the sacrificing?

Answer 6

soz i cudnt be botherd 2 read it all
but generally , if uv been together so long then surely that wont matter too much?
try moving closer?
and dude my fiancee lives down the road ( bout a mile ) and wev been together for 8 months XD yey lol
but id suggest the job.
soz dude , idk if i was a waste of time n hope

Answer 7

I TAUGHT YOU WELL JOH! :DDD

haha yay(:♥ i suck at replying to your myspace messages.