I'm so lost In my life right now! What should I do?

Question

I need to be as understanding to you guys as possible so that I can get as much help as possible. Let me give you the low down of how I've stuffed up my life.I'm 19 years old..Okay It was all working well I was In a Job for 4 months then I left because I wanted to move back out west which Is where all of my mates were and It was a hassle to drive out back home every Friday to go see my friends for the weekend. It was one of the most relaxed Jobs I've ever had but as with every other Job there is It got too repetitive and I didn't have the correct frame of mind to continue the Job. Then.. I was unemployed for about 5 months sitting at home.. every day for 5 months so I decided to do a course In automotive that course cost me $5000 New Zealand dollars which I have to pay back. Then I was out of money for a while so I could not get to school and I missed out on alot of classes so I gave that up In less than a month. That's $5000 In debt so far, then my Mum gave me her car which cost her $5000 then I got a speeding ticket which was $500 then my car conked out on me I don't have the money to fix It It's pretty stuffed up now I can only sell It for about $1000 and that's $500 towards my fine. So I got a car then I blew It I'm In debt. Then I decided to go Join the gym. I only earnt $160 a week the gym cost me $30 a week. Then my bank account got shut down therefore the gym could not receive anymore of my payments and now they're racked up at $120. I also owe my friend $325 and my other friend $120. And my pay of $160 was coming from my student allowance which I have to pay back. I have no Job.. I can't seem to find one or stick to one. No car my Dad still buys me groceries and pays my rent he works his *** off at work I pretty much live off him and I feel so horrible every single day that I am hear I feel so sorry for my Dad but I cannot leave because I have no where else to go. I also have OCD which Just ruined me. I cannot hide the fact that I am so very depressed and It feels like I am at the end of the road and It Is hard to keep positive ='(

Additional Details

Far out the human brain Is wicked Isn't It. I'm getting different opinions from all over the place based on your peoples experience. I am getting unnecessary Answers here one of them which Is very rude. No I am not a girl yes I do pray because I want to believe In something that can help me. I do have other stuff going on In my life so please don't Judge me too much. I know what I need to do I know It Isn't fun but I can only handle so much. I came here for answers not criticism. Thank you all for your advice I do agree with some of you. These are all my first mistakes which Is why I made them In the first place. I do not have much motivation to do things I do not know how to Initiate motivation In myself okay. I know I'm not the only one but all I've asked for Is help not cold hearted rudeness alright. Thank you all for your advice I will take It.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

You're in over your head with the money situation but there is a way out. You won't like it very much.

You need to work as much as you can to earn as much money as possible, and during this time you must spend as little money as necessary to survive. That may mean taking a second job. Lots of people have worked two jobs to get their way out of situations worse than yours.

You also will need to get in touch with the people you owe money to and tell them what you're doing, and make arrangements to pay back that money over time. They will probably not like it, but getting paid back money over time is better than not getting paid back at all. Make them a solid, concrete promise, even if it's only $10 a week, and then stick to it until the debt is gone.

Keep records of all the money you pay back to your creditors. Use a checking account and not cash because the negotiated checks will keep a record of the money you have paid. If a creditor will only take cash, then insist on getting a receipt from that creditor. This is so that if there is a dispute down the road, you can prove what you've done -- so needless to say, keep all of these records in an organized way.

Finally, you need to make a budget for yourself. What money must you spend every month, what money do you need to pay towards reducing your debt every month, and what money do you make every month? Use a spreadsheet program like excel to chart all of this out, and then use it again every month to record your actual spending habits and your progress on paying down your various debts. This will force you to control your own spending behavior.

You've got a tough road ahead of you but the only way out is to discipline your spending. This isn't very much fun but it is the only way to get out of the fix you're in. If you work hard, make a sensible plan with numbers that work out, and have the dedication to push through with this, you'll be on the right side of your finances soon enough. It can be done and you can do it. Good luck.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Basically It Is what It Is. It Is a well thought through answer. Straight to the point. Stating the obvious..

Answer 2

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you DON'T SPEND ABOVE YOUR MEANS! "Ooh look at me, I'm in massive debt, so why don't I get a gym membership?" "Ooooooh, I have no money so I'll just borrow MORE money from everyone else to buy/pay for stuff that I don't really need then be in even more debt" "Oooooooooooooooooooh look at me, my job is repetitive and I'm away from my friends (who won't even be my friends once I reveal I can't pay back the hundreds I owe them), so I'll just quit". You seriously fail at life. Listen, most people don't love their jobs. Most jobs are boring. We don't do this to ourselves because we are masochistic, we do this because we need MONEY. And hey woah, if you don't HAVE money, you don't just decide your job is boring and leave, nor do you squander it on **** like a gym membership - you can exercise yourself for free, go for a bloody run or something. If you can't afford to keep a car, don't - public transport exists my friend, and you cannot afford to be too good for it.

Grow the **** up, this is pathetic, you look after your money like a ******* 5 year old, and you're very lucky your mum and dad have looked after you as much as they have, now you need to show them some thanks by picking yourself up, looking after yourself, and refusing to leech off them any more.

So stop whinging and get back to work. You don't have any other options.

Answer 3

You go and see if you can get your old job and then you work until you pay your debts off.It is time to be an adult,no more excuses.Do it even when you do not feel like it.Once you do what is right for a while, your feelings will change.

Answer 4

This is life and it is not easy, I'm sure you knew that right? Either way, take it from someone that was your age and had a hard time then too...screw the debt. It's not much and you are blessed indeed. Your dad is there for you and that is more than a lot of us can say. You can and will find a job and when you do make sure you save your money of course.

As for the bank account you can open another one with another bank. You have about three more accounts to ruin before you wont be able to open another one so dont sweat it. It's ok to feel down on your luck but you cannot get lost in it. You have reasons to be down but not enough to feel like you are at the end of the road. Your road has just got started.

Let your dad know that you see how hard he works and show that you appreciate it by going to get a job, That's a start, at least look for one. You will feel better knowing that you are trying. I could go on and on...

Answer 5

Most of your problems seem to stem from dept and the way your financial situation makes you feel. First off, get a job- any job and don't leave it unless you find another. If you don't have a car, take the bus or ride a bike. Contact everyone, every business that you owe money too. Explain your situation and offer to pay whatever you can. Talk to your father and arrange to pay something or to do work around the house.

Then, reduce your expenditures and DON'T incur more. Cancel the gym membership and jog. Go to the grocery store instead of to restaurants.

As for the depression, you will probably find the more you take control of your situation, the less depressed you will be. A brisk walk can do wonders to lift your spirits. Also, helping others- many churches and other institutions need assistance and charity work often leads to contacts and employment. Join a hiking club, join a book reading club, find out about clubs and activities for young people in your area.

Don't get bogged down because you have OCD. You may need to concentrate more to do something, but you can do it, so tell yourself that. Also, remember that 19 years old is still very young, so don't be too hard on yourself for not being out on your own.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry hunn.
i assume you're a girl....and i feel your pain. But recklessness plays a big role in ruining ones life.....u should be very careful. anyway, i just want to ask if you have tried praying. You may not be christian or not go to church or believe in God, but He has done things for me I have live to testify to this day. He is real, and if u pray to Him whole heartedly, You will be surprised with the results. So, my dear, the very first thing i advice you to do is pray to your father in heaven, and things will turn out for good. Where there is life, there is HOPE.

Secondly, i think the best places to find jobs now are fast food eateries and grocery store....also try department stores like Target, or Walmart. Or set up a voluntary sale....like selling cookies or something u know u can sell for a couple of dollars in your garage or at games to make money. As time goes on, things will get better, and just remember.....PRAY. It will be well; where there is life, there is hope. Trust me, i'm not bluffing. i've been to hell and back.....i know how its like. life isnt a bed of roses; it isnt fair either, i know. take care, and let me know if there is any progress.

All My Love.