Why do i always run away from my problems and how do i fix this?

Question

I've always avoided my problems. I mean as a child i was always pushed away when i wanted to express emotion...always told i was selfish, so over the years it seems that i don't really know what my emotions mean...I'm 19 and i am clueless about my emotions and there meanings. I struggled with a cocaine and ecstasy addiction for 4 years, and i drink regularly. So i know i've avoided emotions for a very long time. When i was younger i was severely emotionally abused and as a result i have no self confidence or self esteem. So all of a sudden i have all of these responsibilities like university, homework, placement, work, my dad is dying and were losing our house because we can't afford our mortgage...my mom is working 4 jobs seven days a week so i take care of my brother do the cleaning and cooking, while taking care of my grandma too..now through all this i still manage to drink almost everyday and maintain an above 90 average..which makes it harder to stop because its not effecting my life in such a bad way..except for the fact that i dont know my emotions...which is kind of embarrassing actually. But i can't make simple decisions for example...if someone asks where i want to go for dinner....i literally cannot say without feel shame and embarrassment ..don't ask why..i have no idea...how can i fix this without blowing up with anxiety i have generalized anxiety disorder and dont take meds, because of my past addictions. so what can i do..?

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

You are handling a lot of responsibilities especiallyy for your age. Don't be so hard on yourself as I'm sure you're doing a good job. A counselor will probably tell you the same thing. Which is my next suggestion. Keep it to yourself or to only positive people who ou know are in you corner, but seek a family therapist so you can alk about all the things you can't tell anyone else. They can help you sort through all the confusions in your life. How you were treated as a child has a lot to do with it. But until you get professional help keep in mind that it's tempory and you have to try the best you can to tell yourself positive things about yourself and know it will be all right. It's a little hard to speak up for yourself when you have been quiet so long but you can do it. Main thing is start with getting counseling just for yourself and don't feel guilty about it. You are doing this for yourslef and your well being. After all you are going through you still make good grades in school and you should be very proud of yourself. You are going to be all right but you will feel much better when you get the proper counseling that will help you with your self esteem and drinking problem. Don't give up!

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Asker's Comment:

Thank you very much.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You have to change your mentality, firstly understand that you are no more a kid, all these days you enjoyed your school life, you are 19 an young handsome gentle man this is the time where you have to plan& ambition what you want to be and for that what you will have to do to achieve. This is the first step and turn, this particular place many of them achieve there goals with proper planning.

No medicine's required for this, you need concentration in your studies.

Go for some meditation classes, which helps you stop tour mind deviating towards unnecessary things.
Be confident in your self. Just say your self yes i will achieve and there is no such word called IMPOSSIBLE in your dictionary.

Then see you will see success all the way of your life.

I did and i am successful in my life.

See the life you are going through, i can understand very well, this is where you have to be mentally strong enough instead of becoming sentimental.

Hard work always has given fruit.