Am i wasting my time with him?

Question

I've been dating this guy for 4 months. I like him alot and we have alot of fun together. But i can't help but think he's holding back and i think it has to do with his ex. It was his first love, the only reason they broke up is because she moved away, and they still talk. I once mentioned a rumor i heard about her and he got overly defensive.

Even though they broke up a couple of years ago, i am the first girl he has gotten serious with since her. He rarely tells me how much he likes me or compliments me, and he has even denied sex. I am not usually a needy or jealous girl, i've just never been in a situation like this before. People say i am out of his league, but i really believe that this could be a good thing if things would just change a little.

I know that no relationship is perfect, but am i wasting my time with this one?

Additional Details

wow people you dont give this guy too much hope. alright.. looks like we'll be having a talk tomorrow!

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Sounds like he isn't over his ex. If he is getting defensive than he is still caught up on her. He doesn't hold you high enough in his view to drop her from his mind. If she moved away you probably have nothing to worry about but that doesn't change the fact that he is obviously still stuck emotionally. Try sitting down and talking to him and let him know whats bothering you and see how he acts or how he responds. Let him know if things don't change it will end. You can't always get people to feel for you what you want them to.

Source(s):

Life

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

it really helped me make my decision

Answer 2

Yes you are. Time to shop around for someone new.

Answer 3

yeah so much time omg you could build a house of cards with all that time

Answer 4

if you have to ask then yes you are wasting valuable time....move on....when in doubt don't

Answer 5

All I can say is been there, done that. Yes it is a waste of time. It takes a long time for guys to get over their ex girlfriends. You are the rebound. He will have fun with you and use you to get over the ex. It happened to me. He would mention her often, and have soul-to-soul conversations, that centered around her. So do I think he's ready? No. If he refuses to move forward, you need to step away. Tell him that you don't think he's over his ex and when he's ready, you can continue. So, its important for him to move forward, so that he doesn't see you as the rebound girl.

Answer 6

I would sadly have to say yes. He is still not over his last girlfriend or he is just not into you. He is wasting your time hes not worth it! If he doesnt show that he likes you or doesnt complement you then theres no poinr ro prolong it.

Answer 7

Well it looks that way. Why are people saying that you are out of his league?

Answer 8

give him the cold shoulder and see if he does bother to come after you at all if yes den your not was ting ur time if not den get rid of him ASAP !

Answer 9

Caitlin, If you even know that he is still in contact with his ex, it is because he still has unresolved feelings for her. There is not FULL CLOSURE on their connection.
Best to care for him as a friend, and let time do its thing between him and his ex. He will never be able to move forward, or recommit to any NEW WOMAN until his mind and heart allow for it to be so.

Answer 10

I would honestly ask him straight up if he wants to be with me or not? Tell him you don't want to waste your time and neither should he.

Answer 11

here is a fact of life, guys love sex. (unless they are weird religious guys who are seriously gonna wait till marriage) if he seriously denied sex there is a problem. talk to him seriously and decide for yourself whether this is going anywhere. TALK TO HIM!!!

Answer 12

Yes, he needs time. Maybe, give him some space, or just break up already! I mean, duh!
He is showing strong signs.

Answer 13

u need to run, sounds like he wants the other girl back..

Answer 14

If he still talks to her I'd say yes you are,but you never know. Some guys are complicated. I was in the same spot. Only had one real girlfriend, then we broke up and I went for one girl only, but if she didnt do what I used to, I didnt know anything else, but I still wanted to be with her. I wouldnt say give up completely. Maybe just alittle more time.

Source(s):

IDK

Answer 15

If he still has feelings for his ex, you won't get the attention and commitment you want or deserve. You have to find out for sure, don't assume anything. It may take time but it's important to know the truth. If you trust him to answer honestly, ask him. If not, you'll need to find out on your own.

Answer 16

Your realtionship is still so new. He needs time to get to know u better and for his feelings to grow. It seems that he really loved his ex, buts he has had a long time to get over her. Obviosuly he likes u since hes finally able to move on with u. Just give it time

Answer 17

Tell him that your not gonna stay if hes going to be depressed over that girl hes with YOU not HER so either he changes and it can work out or he doesn't change which means hes not worth it

Answer 18

obviously, he isn't quite over his first girlfriend, and that's kind of sweet. but i don't think he should've gotten too serious with you until he was sure he was over the other girl. i'm really sorry, but i think you should explain how you feel about the situation and just ask what's up. if he says he still has feelings for this other girl, you should suggest that you should be friends until he's sure that he's over her. if you really like him, tell him that you will wait for him.

Answer 19

Maybe if you sit down and talk to him about it. You know ask him to be Honest and Ask him if he isn't over her. First love is VERY hard to get over no matter what. And if yall have been dating for 4 Months I don't think Sex will get him over to your side..