What should I do about him?

Question

I have a friend that i've known for about 9 years. We were quite good friends 9 years ago, but after that we only saw each other occasionally for years. About 6 months ago we got closer again and started seeing each other more regularly. He said to me a few months ago that all those years ago he had a massive crush on me. I was surprised and told him i'd never seen him as anything other than a friend. But I assumed he was over that. It turns out he's not and a friend of his took me to one side the other day and told me that he really, really likes me and since then he's been making it really obvious. Like he made some burritos when i went round to his flat and they were so spicy I could only eat a bit of one and he was visibly upset and kept saying sorry and that he'd f*cked up. I felt really guilty for not being able to eat more. When we chat on MSN or facebook he often implies that he likes me. I've told hm 3 times now that I only see him as a friend and now it's getting to the point that i'm uncomfortable around him. He is a really, really cool guy, I just don't fancy him

The thing is, what do I do? I really want to keep this guy as a friend, he's a lot of fun and I like the people i've met through him a lot. I know the best thing is to probably just stop hanging around with him but I don't want to have to do that

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Yea i know just met this really nice guy recently and havent told him yet im not interested (im not attracted) but id like to be friends with him. It is hard but youve told him its his problem if hes in denial. Seriously you told him 3 times - he needs to be a man and actually listen and accept it. Dont feel guilty that you dont like someone in that way - we cant help who we like or dont. If he cant be mature enough to be friends then tough luck for him. I always feel terrible for rejectng guys too and i feel like im responsible for mending their broken heart after i rejected them but seriously when a guy rejects me he doesnt offer me a shoulder to cry on - grls are too nice sometimes.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

You know what, you're absolutely right. I do feel kind of guilty for rejecting him. I think i'm just gonna have to stop seeing him, which is a real shame, but what else can i do. thanks :)

Answer 2

realistically you have 3 options here

1-just stop seeing him altogether
2-ride it out being friends and hope he gets the message
3-talk to him, hard though it will be, he is clinging onto something that aint gonna happen, and thats also harsh, just explain as you have here, you think he is a great guy, you love spending time with him, and consider him to be one of your closest friends, but, thats all you see him being, and want him to be

it sounds so cold, but, its a difficult position you have been put in, he didnt get the message before, but he does need to be put in the right direction here,

good luck

Answer 3

I think you just need to stop seeing him for a while until he realizes that if he pushes into being with you, he will loose a friend. Also probably he will accept the fact you don't fancy him if you find a boyfriend sometime.

Answer 4

My dear friend since he loves you he cant turn your friend, its a basic rule so better avoid him for some time n try him back but I dont think he will be your friend, it needs lot of control and for that maturity is very imp n some may turn ur secret enimy also so better you talk it out or you will invite problems to you in near future coz his heart will break n may be he will not tell you anything but things will be happening behind you. tc