He lies to her to hang out with me?

Question

I'm married, and so is my friend. Sometimes we go out for a drink or lunch or something. My husband always knows were I am and who I am with. Recently, I heard my friend on the phone with his wife saying he was with someone else and going somewhere else. I'm not telling any lies, but I guess he is. Am I doing anything wrong? It made me sad that his wife doesn't recognize our friendship. I know her and he knows my husband.

Additional Details

I have known both him ad his wife for 15 years--that's before they got together. The 4 of us have spent plenty of time together over the years. She and I have also been out for drinks together.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

He has his reason, obviously. Maybe she is overbearing, or extremely jealous. Maybe they don't have open communication in their relationship. Maybe lots of things. Whether or not you are doing anything wrong, depends on your values. I personally don't see a problem with it, but perhaps you should address the issue with your friend and let him know it bothers you a bit.

One other possibility is that he actually feels like he is doing something wrong and has to hide it. Perhaps you don't know his true intentions. Do you think he could secretly have something going for you? Just a thought.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

thanks

Answer 2

scary scary, she finds out ur both toast

Answer 3

You are not wrong but it sounds like he is up to no good.

Answer 4

in a way, you are doing something wrong, now that you know about his wife's disapproval.

Answer 5

Your already banging him. Why lie to us? We don't care. You're lying to yourself.

Answer 6

i don't like the sound of that why is he sneaking to see you why cant he just tell his wife like hey im going on a lunch date with my friend. I think you should talk to him about that.

Answer 7

i would start inviting your husband ever now and again.it sounds like his wife is super paranoid

Answer 8

well there r some things that r ok to do but when u are married there are no such things as girl friends of guy friends your husband should be your best friend as well as your wife should be your best friend Thats not cool that he lies to his wife about going out with you and as long as you continue to go out with him thats what he will do so u need to stop! would u want another man coming between uand ur marriage or in that matter another woman just because u are an open person and are not jealous over your husband doesnt mean everyone thinks like you! I personally wouldn't want my husband sitting down to dine with another b1tch either! wtf is wrong with you?

Answer 9

It sounds like he has different intentions. straighten it out with him. Especially for her sake. Just imagine if you were her.
Even if you don't have bad intentions he may just be thinking that there is something else going on.

Answer 10

You might want to ask him about it, because if he IS hiding your friendship from her, and she ever finds out, that might create a lot of drama. Why don't you suggest inviting them BOTH out? She might not be completely comfortable with you guys out on lunch dates, even if you are JUST friends. Your husband seems very accepting and understanding, which is great. Consider this though - has your husband interacted with him more than you have with her? That may be the cause of some insecurity. Just talk to your friend about it, and try not to make it seem like a big deal.

Blessings!

Answer 11

You're both playing with fire and you're likely going to get burned.

Answer 12

your friend just played you telling his wife that B S

Answer 13

Yes, you are doing something wrong. Very few men can actually have female friends. In their minds, female friends are just females they haven't screwed yet. Now you maybe thinking it's just friends, but obviously he isn't, otherwise, he wouldn't lie. And, it's also pretty evident that his wife isn't OK with you sharing drinks with him either. You say that you are sad that HIS wife doesn't recognize your friendship. Well, if you were a true friend, you would care about his relationship to the point to where you would be on the phone talking with her (as a friend) and making damn sure that it was cool with her to take her husband out for drinks. My advice to you is for you to not create problems in someone elses marriage. Find a girlfriend