Why won't my bf ask me to marry him??? Part 2.?

Question

We have been together for 4 yrs. In the 1st 6mth's he wanted too(didn't actually have a ring just talked about it a lot) and I didn't cause it was to fast. We have a wonderful relationship. He has taken my son in as his own. We have lived together for 3.5 years. We do almost everything together. When he goes away on trips, like hunting/camping and I ask him questions about it, he automatically resorts to "I don't trust him" and says that is why we are at a stand still. The thing is that I do trust him, I am slightly insecure and a little nosy so I ask questions about their plans, etc. isn't that normal of someone who cares? I think it's an excuse, I don't believe he thinks that. I don't know what to do...I feel used and I am starting to think that he is waiting for someone better. He's really good to me and my son, I hope that's not the case. I am tired of the embarrassment when asked "why hasn't he married you yet?"...now I am asking myself that question. The whole "why buy the cow when the milk is free" is haunting me. I am to afraid to change anything because he is stubborn (so am I) and I am afraid he will just let me go because he will think that I don't want him, it seems too risky. I love the idea of getting away for the weekend, but I already did that, he always misses me alot (calls, texts, etc) right now he is away hunting and he calls and texts me. I usually text him but I really haven't this time cause I don't want to be viewed as none trusting. I'm hurt and I don't know how to get what I want...and if I don't get that I don't think my relationship will stay together since the feeling of insecurity grows inside of me with time :( I don't want to mess this up but I don't want to be just a gf either.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Um...You do realize he is right when he says you don't trust him? You think he is using you and waiting for someone better to come along. I know you wrote here that you only ask him simple questions about his hunting/camping, but what do you really ask? Do you nag, and constantly ask if other women were there? I'm not saying you do, but the fact that you said he might be using you is a clear indication that you do not trust him. Perhaps he really does think you don't trust him which is what's stopping him from popping the question. Before getting married you should work on your insecurities...Marriage will not solve it for you. Good Luck.

P.S Living common law can sometimes slow down marriage proposals because it's like you're already married. I know someone who got married after 16 years of living common law! Now THAT is a long time to wait.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

I respect your advice here but you don't have enough info to get that thorough. I am only starting to become insecure because of the situation. I ask ?'s cause I worry about "what if's" like what if I need to get a hold of him or something happens, etc.

Answer 2

Why buy the pig when all you need is a little sausage?