How do you forgive someone who has done you very, very wrong?

Question

Its been 2 1/2 years since i last ttalked to my mother. she met my daughter once and has never seen my son. i want very much for her to be in my life but i am finding it hard to forgive her for kicking me out of the house at 18 and calling my husband the devil. she's tried to buy me back but she wants nothing to do with me as long as i'm with my husband. she's never really been there for me as long as i can remember but she is still my mom and the only parent i have left. i truly love her but i don't know how to forgive her for the horros and disappointments she's caused me to have through my life.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Wow, this is a very sad story. You may reach a point where you know she wasn't trying to hurt you, but didn't approve of your choices. Both of you may need to compromise. I'd say "It's like this mom, this is my husband, and I love him. You don't have to love him, or even like him, but you needs to be civil to him if you want to be with me again." Of course, if (and I say this because I don't know her side) your husband is abusing you, this all changes the dynamics of how she's going to respond. No mom is going to sit there and watch their child (adult or not!) be hurt at someone else's hand. It sounds like she's not been there for you in the past, and for that I'm sorry. Some parents seem to be lost when it comes to giving their kids what they need. It's probably not even conscious. I'm sure she's probably tried to give you a better life than she herself had, but doesn't know what went wrong. It's so hard to be a parent, and I know it can be hard to be the child as well. I believe you love her, and in time I hope you can let her back bit by bit into your life. Especially since she has a grandchild. That's the sad part for your son.

I hope your mom reconsiders her stance, and even if the relationship you are in with your husband isn't ideal, she can support you. She may never agree with your choices, but she's your mom. She can tell you she disagrees with your choices, but she should remain civil. I hope so much this works out for you.

Source(s):

I'm a nurse and a mom.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thank you. this means a lot. though some of the details were left out which made part of my question be left out... my fault. god bless you for taking the time to help. thank you

Answer 2

& vice versa...hon, you have children...ya need to talk to your mom before your kids do this to YOU!!...see what I mean?? truly, good luck, but please realize that you are not the only one, & your mother does have a tolerance level, as do you...your mom is human, you are human, you WILL make the same mistakes, maybe not just as evident as you'll be finding;; but it also sounds like your mom was not the only "trouble"...again, good luck!!