My Mother Is Quite Overbearing And Is A Very Negative Person?

Question

I am 26 years old and I have recently moved back with my mother. I am not allowed to go out and socialise with my friends e.g go clubbing, to dinner or to movies after 9pm because my mum is scared that I would get murdered or someone would rape me.My mum also told me that friends who ask you to go socialising with them means that they are a bad influence. That means I wont be going to the two christmas parties I have been invited to. My mum also thinks that if I went on vacations with friends or my boyfriend, they are going to get up trouble like plant drugs in my suitcase.
If I tell my mum I am grown up and can take responsiblity, she would say 'If you think like that, then you are going to get yourself into a lot of trouble, social norms are rubbish'. My mum feels that if you dont go out at night or socialise with friends it means you are a very sensible and mature person. I have three brothers and they are allowed to do whatever they like.
I am in a process of looking for a job and when I have setlled down, I would save up for a place and move out. But my mum would want me to save and buy a flat, it would take me up to 2.5 years to save up. I can't do that because I am in debt of £7,000. I got a CCJ for getting into £2,000 and I would be focusing on that as soon as I get a job. I have every right to get myself a flat. My mum is 65 years old and thinks she is right all the time. When I tell her she is wrong, she would fight with me.

Additional Details

Tony you are chatting crap

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Your mom sounds like an extremely irrational person. If I were you I would never have moved back in with her. It's one thing to be worried like any normal mother, but she's jumping to all these extreme conclusions. You'd think she had some sort of mental illnesses or psychological problem.
I mean, you're 26-years-old for God's sake!

I would recommend some counseling. She obviously needs to speak with a professional.
She sounds like a control freak with a lot of problems. I wouldn't be surprised if she got physically abusive or verbally. If that's the case, I would move out immediately and cut off contact.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks, you are being realistic.

Answer 2

It is better to ask forgiveness than permission. You are 26, do what you want, she's not going to stop you.

Answer 3

i think maybe that you should tell your mom that you are grown up and that you love her very much but its time for her to let go.your 26 years old. you should be living your life the way you want it. if i were you i would tell your mom that you can hndle yourself and that she can trust you not to make foolish decisions. just say that you need a little break from all of it and just stay at a friends house for a few days until you cool down and are ready to go back and talk to your mom. when talking to your mom, just tell her that you want to get your point across to her first without any interruptions. then ask her to give you 3 good reasons why she cant let you go somewhere. i cant think of anything else right now but i hope everything works out fine.

Answer 4

Your mom is not overbearing or negative. What she has said is very true. I do respect your problem, and it's not your fault. While living under your mom roof you must make her feel comfortable by abiding her rules. In many senses you put the 'mother responsibility' back into her by moving in with her. It is easier for parent to content with their child life sty when the child is not living under their roof but in a case like yours (as well as others) you put her back into mom mode again. For 65 years your mom knows a lot about life, it does not make her right all the time. Try to put yourself in your mom shoes. God bless

Answer 5

at 19 i was working in a foreign country at 22 i was married ...you're 26 like going on 16!! wtf!
i understand her concern about you getting home safely...but that never changes at any age...u cant live your life just sitting indoors. your twenties is the time when people party like a lunatic!!! God its one short life live it to the max!!
i suppose living at home is inviting life the way it was when u were a child......it's hard for mothers to just stop caring...they never do...if u do go out at night make sure you have someone to take u home or stay at their house. but really youre no a teen so get a job and youre own flat if u want to play without restriction!

Answer 6

If you don't like the living conditions, move out. Nobody twisted your arm to move back in.
Macdonalds always hires. The world still needs floor moppers and toilet scrubbers.