My son called his new mother in law mom. right or wrong?

Question

my son called his new mother in law mom. i was very hurt by that because we are very close and i never thought he would even consider to call her mom. am i wrong?

Answer 1

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Hi Katie,

While I have yet to deal with this issue. My son will be married soon, and if he decides to call his new mother-in-law mom, then I imagine that it will come as a suprise to me, but I believe if he does do it, then I know he's doing it more for his wife, than he is somehow acknowledging that his mother in law is "mom". Does that make sense? I think when someone calls thier in-law's "mom" or "dad", it doesn't necessarily carry the same feeling or emotion that it does when he calls his/her own parents mom or dad. I think it is more of a respect thing. Maybe calling them by thier first name seems to awkward. Just know that when he says "mom" to YOU, he says it from his heart. I know my sister in law calls my mother "mom". And I think I sometimes take offense to that on a very slight level. When I was younger I remember thinking "You didn't earn the right to call her mom" I grew out of that over the years. And even though she's been my sister- in- law for about 17 years and has always done it, every now and then I still feel a little uneasy when I hear it. Maybe jealousy or something on my part. Personally, I have never called my in-laws "mom" or "dad". I wouldn't even consider it. I've been married twice now, and I call them by thier first names. And when they are not around, a few other select names because I don't get along with them, which is another good reason to NOT call them "mom" or "dad". But I do think that it is done more to acknowledge that they are a "mom" rather than they are trying to replace thier own mom. Try to put on a brave face. You can't help how you feel. So don't feel guilty for feeling that way. It is your child. And you feel as though you earned that title "MOM". But you know your son, and therefore you would know that he is not doing to hurt you in any way. But he has taken on not only a new wife, but a new family.

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thank you so much for you help.have a blessed day and a wonderful thanksgiving

Answer 2

Oh don't feel bad ,what he has done is right .I can understand that ,but he is going on the right way which means that he is a Good boy born for a Great mother.

Answer 3

this is a hard thing for a mother to get over or to even hear. Iam sorry i know this is tuff for you. Just know u will always be his mom and he loves you.

Answer 4

I wouldn't be offended, although I can understand why you are. Just remember you're his one and only mom, and he'll never forget that- and there's nothing his mother in law can do to come close to your bond with him. He's probably just trying to make her feel good/ make his wife feel like he loves her family too. It's just a pleasantry, be happy for him that he gets along with his in laws!!!

Answer 5

Yes you are wrong. This is a good sign that she is going to be a decent mother in law and that is uncommon. It means life will be a little easier for him and that is what we want for our children. Be happy that others care for him. I know I want my children to get all the love they can in this world and to deny them that is selfish. Be happy he is loved. And by her accepting him so well it also means life will be in better harmony for his family (children) and even you. If you do not want to alienate him you need to think about what is really important and find a way to be happy for your son.

Answer 6

Lots of people call their in-laws "Mom" or "Dad." It's not meant to insult that person's ACTUAL parents, it just means that they have a very close relationship with their spouse's parents as well. It's not meant to take away anything from you.

For example, my dad calls his father-in-law "Dad," mostly I think, because my grandfather has treated my dad very warmly and openly, like another son. It's not meant to be offensive, but more of a sign of respect.

Answer 7

You are being over sensitive. Lots of people call their mother-in laws "mom". Don't be offended. Afterwhile you will get over it.

Answer 8

Lots of people do that. It's a sign of respect (and sometimes affection) for the other family. He's not going to forget who his real mom is. There's no reason to be hurt over it.