Help,is my relationship platonic,friendship or an emotional affair?

Question

Help,is my relationship platonic,friendship or an emotional affair?
when i was 17,i met my brother's friend.we immly clicked & struck a very close friendship.after 3 yrs,he proposed to me,but somehow i couldnt think of him that way,even though i knew i would be lovedif i married him.by then,he had become the only person in my life to know my deep,dark secrets.then i met my husband & he swept me off my feet.after 4 yrs of marriage,my friend & i started talking 2 each other.it was as if we never parted.i love my husband,but he doesnt know all of my secrets & stuff.my friend's not married yet & it's 9 yrs of our marriage & i still depend on him solidly.infact,somehow my relationship with my friend fulfils my emotional disappointments with my husband & i love him more freely,since i dont expect them from him anymore.my friend & i've never discussed sexual stuff & i've made it very clear to my friend that i luv my husband very much.

my problem is my husband absolutely hates this friend.he knows he had proposed to me before & thinks he's still in love with me - that's why he hasnt married.sometimes,i regret that i even told him about his proposl,bcos now i'm being forced to talk 2 him behind his back.i'm a person who has always stayed in touch with all my friends through every phase of life.he's my best friend.he's my soulmate & i believe in our friendship,but i'm terrified of how my husband would recat if he comes to know that i'm talking to my friend so frequently....pls ,somebody help me....i love them both.my friend as only a friend & my husband,more than how much a mother would love her child.but i'm scared that he would judge me if he knew about certain things that'enned in my life.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

You're supposed to be a grown up mature married woman. In the real world no married woman has a close male friend. Not now. Not ever. You are being disloyal to your husband. You also have been lying to him since you met him. All the time he loved you you didn't love him back. "Yes, I will marry you but I want to keep my best guy friend?" Sick. Your husband is right in his gut feelings toward him. He is playing with his wife. After nine years? You took a Vow and it's about time you kept it. You know what the right, moral thing to do is. Grow up and choose. There is no soft answer to the road you are thinking of heading down. Sorry. 8>}

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

thanks,i'm going to 've one tough time staying away from my friend.

Answer 2

I can tell you with certainty that your friend is probably in love with you and is not going to help your relationship, because he is your confidant. Your husband should be the one you turn to. Otherwise, you are emotionally sharing yourself with another man. Would you be ok with your husband sharing his past with a woman who once loved him and not you because he didn't think you would understand? I know I wouldn't.

Answer 3

Sounds like your torn between 2 lovers and your husband is probably right he is still in love with you. your flirting with danger and people have been killed playing the game your playing. Either make your husband your best friend. make your mom or another woman your best friend or your in fro a wold of trouble and pain. Your gonna have to make a decision it's your husband or your friend. Your burning the candle at both ends and your the one gonna get burned in the end. I'm glad I don't play those games anymore.

Answer 4

yes it is an emotional affair....A you know it is B that's why you hide it....you are getting your emotional needs from one and sex from an other.....so the question is is why and what do you plain to do with it,,,,hide it and hope that he will keep giving you Your emotional with out the sex and hope that the sex does not go south when you scream out the wrong name....trust in your heart and do what it needs before you loose the both of them because i do not see this one working out as a three sum