Okay. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. porn is alawys something we have argued about?

Question

and im done! i dont want to argue anymore. iv told him this amillion times.! but i cant tell if he ihas stopped. last time i found it on his computer about a month and a half ago he was just as upset as i was and disapointed in his self. he knows i hate it. just last night i found more on his computer/ he told me he swears its not his. that it must have been his brother who is 15, he told me he hates seeing me upset. that he only thinks of me and only me. that hes done with that **** as he called it and doesnt want to do it anymore. please dont tell me this is just something boys do. that its normal? thats not the answer im looking for. if he honestly is telling me the truth like hes saying..im to insecure about the subject to beleive him almost. hetold me if he looked at it he wud tell me because he said he wud rather me help him with it then him keep doing it behind my back. he also told me that he has had 4 urges to do it since i found out the last time. he told me that those times he had the urges he just went to bed or jacked off to me. i feel bad cuz i feel i cant trust him. and i also feel bad cuz when i feel like it was him and i get mad and upset he gets mad cuz i dont beleive him. i realy honestly dont know what to do to make my self feel confident about it. hes not one to lie. cheat. or any of that. i mean everyone says it cud be worse ya know? but i dnt want the porn in our relationship. last time what realy got him was...i told him i was gna leave if it didnt stop. a relationship of 2 years is pretty important to just let go like that. i honestly dont think he being hte person he is wud just drop that. can u guys help me? and before u say it i wont whatch it with him! and he has tons of pictures of me and stuff like that. i just want me and him without the porn. not me him and the porn ya know??

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

listen babe if that's all you got to worry bout calm down..i mean men wil be men and you already said you know he wouldn't cheat on you...so cut the guy a break....believe me when i tel you your not he only woman out there that doesn't like porn..you dont have to watch it with him justs know he does watch it andintnt let it bother you..babe ive been the same relationship for 12 years its like watchin anything else on the tv he isnt going to pull her threw the screen and have sex with her on ur couch.and you can be the prettiest girl in the world or the ugliest watchingn porn isnt going to change him or his love for you...you ever heard that saying you can look but you cant touch wel ok babe let him look and know when your makin love that he loves you and it probably isnt hurtin neither of you and hell even might learn to do something you enjoy

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

thank you so much

Answer 2

it's porn. who cares. why does it affect you so much?

Answer 3

You can't change the fact that he is a man.Leave his porn alone.He would probably imagine himself with other gurls too .If you don't wanna watch with him , then fine.Personally I'd watch with my bf if he asks me.That way I know what he likes better.

Now if he is cyber chatting with other gurls online for sex, this would be something else.

Answer 4

The reason its stil an issue is because you still allow it. You allow him second chances in the hopes that he'll stop and never look at a porn again. It just doesn't happen like that. You can either seriously deal with it and tell him that its you or the porn or accept it. Asking a guy not to look at porn is like asking a woman not to go shopping. It's something that almost all men enjoy. If you can compromise on the amount of porn he watches maybe he'll get better. Say, once a week and that's it.

Sorry to say, but if you aren't getting through to him you need to put your foot down and tell him you're gone. When a man realizes that the woman in his life is damn near out the door, he will just get a realization and act right quickly. Don't waver on your decision either. If all the aforementioned tricks and tactics don't work, this relationship isn't worth the stress or unhappiness on your end. Good luck.

Answer 5

It sounds like your core values are different from his. What is his EVIDENCE for having gotten rid of the porn in his life? There are a lot of support groups out there for all ages in giving up anything in your life. If he hasn't gone so far as to do something like this, the porn probably isn't gone :(.

Yes, 2 years is a long time, but it doesn't mean that it's the right relationship. If there is an element in the relationship that doesn't go with your personal values, is it r-e-a-l-l-y the right relationship for you?

The next thing for you to look at, is, what is going on in YOUR life that you have stayed with someone that brings an element to the relationship that is clearly outside of your values, beliefs and boundaries? When you find the answer to that, you will have the answer to your question above ;).

Good luck!!