Staying with divorced parents?

Question

My parents just got divorced a few weeks ago. My dad wants me to stay with him for thanksgiving and christmas because I only see him twice a week. (I hate joint custody!!!) but my mom has been having breakdowns when I'm not in the room. For instance: I came in from the side door after I was done skating, and I walk real slow and quiet. I walked in on my mom crying but she didn't see me, so I pulled a James Bond and creeped outta the living room. I want to spend it with my dad partially because I'm closer to him and I don't see him everyday, but I dont want to feel guilty about dropping my mom behind..... I just really don't know what to do and I'm about to crack under this pressure.

Additional Details

Yeah, I'm 14. but I've never had a REAL thing going with my mom. We never see eye to eye and she just doesn't like the things I like. Our music is different, I skate and like to be outside, but she shops and watches TV and stuff. She never really does anything with me, so... I don't even know where to start.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Split it up, spend Thanksgiving with your mom, maybe your dad can come get you later on in the day. Then spend Christmas with your dad and see your mom that night. Then next year switch it up....have to start splitting holidays now

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Yeah, I'll do that, but I hate packing and unpacking! Lol, I really don't care too much about the splitting, but making my mom sad would make me feel guilty..=[

Answer 2

Your parents should have discussed holidays with one another. It's usually a trade off every other year. For example, TG with dad this year Xmas with mom this year and then next year, flip it. Spend TG with mom this year and hopefully by Xmas she'll be a bit better and you can stay with your dad.

Answer 3

Split the holidays with your parents. This Year You Spend Thanksgiving with Dad and the day after with MOM go shopping. You spend Christmas with MOM and christmas eve With Dad. Rotate every year. Let them know this is what's best for you to make it fair.

Good Luck

Source(s):

magicgee (o_o)

Answer 4

I don't know how old you are but please understand that time will heal a lot of your parent's animosity. Yes, I agree that it should be possible for you to see your dad. But play it smart. I am certain that your dad will understand your difficulty, for he has lived with your mother. I can assure you that in a few months things will settle down.

Answer 5

I think this is your opportunity to get close to your mom. she needs you right now too.

Answer 6

How old are you? You should be old enough to know it is NOT fair that he have you BOTH holidays. Holidays are to be share equally or switched every other year. For your father to request both holidays is being extremely selfish. I know he only gets you twice a week. Your mom is very upset about the divorce and she will need you for awhile. You should old enough to be able to understand that. If you both live close - one gets you in the am and the other in the pm on Thanksgiving - one can have you xmas eve and the other xmas day - or am xmas day one parent and xmas pm with the other . . .OR one gets Thanksgiving and the other gets Xmas day. Help your parents be fair, ok? It will get better, soon!

Source(s):

my parents divorced when I was 3 - living in a blended family now