My boyfriend has a best friend that is a girl. is this thing normal with all the problems im having?

Question

My boyfriend for a year and a half, has a best friend that is a girl. i told him how im not comfortable with this type of thing...... the thing is he has known her for 14 years, and she stays in Arizona...we stay in another state..im not trying to be mean but he also tells me he is not attracted to her he says she is not his type and i have seen pictures and she isnt cute but that doesnt always matter either...
ok she is down here and he told me last night he wants to chill with her, i told him im not comfortable with it and we kept going back and forth with this and he says fine, i wont go. then he starts pounting and acting sad, so i start to feel bad. so i think to myself i trust him so y not let him. this morning while im at work i ask him what are his plans for today he says he is going to see his girl best friend. im just like whatever. and so the day goes by and he started forwarding my calls, then im getting pis*ed off and he is throwing the trust thing in my face. now the last thing i have heard is SHE rode with him to go see his family.
my question is am i over reacting? or what is your opinion, this is really causing alot of problems in our relationship and i really need an outsiders opinion, because i know my friends and family will obvisouly take my side. so if you could please help me with this. Thank you so much.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

She's his best-friend.

What on earth is the problem?
He hasn't done a thing wrong. Just stuff he'd do with a friend.
You are the one making trouble by being pouty and jealous. That's playground behaviour!
Now then...


YOU are his girlfriend. That's a different type of love.

My boyfriend's best friend is a girl. He hasn't seen her for ages and I want him to be happy and catch up with someone who, like me, loves him dearly. He's great. And if he wanted his friend he'd have done something about it after the 15 years they've know eachother.

My best friend is a guy. His girlfriend and he have something special, but we "get" sides of eachother that our partner's can't understand.

My boyfriend doesn't share some of my memories that I do with the friend. (Or the hobbies!). My friend can tell me I look stupid in an outfit at the changing rooms. If my boyfriend said that I'd get cross, and if he said that to his girlfriend she'd cry!
And you know what? I buy the outfits to make my lovely Man go "Wow!"


What right do I have to ask him to give up a friend who he can talk about video gaming with? Who remembers silly things from boarding school that I'll never know?

What right has HE to ask me to give up my friend, who was there at that BBQ on the beach where K brought the trout (long story!)....


I bet he tells his best friend how wonderful you are!

Don't erase his past.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thanks for your advice.it really opened up my mind, thanks alot =)

Answer 2

Well, he is going to DUMP YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Source(s):

My Girl Friend.

Answer 3

I can totally understand where you are coming from. However, he has known her for 14 years, give or take, and with a friend like that, he could picture her as more of a member of his family, rather than a girlfriend. I do think you are overreacting alittle, but i could understand why you are aggravated that he was forwarding your calls. if you want to be with him, you need to trust him. I know its easier to write than read but in the end, trust is the main thing. I am more than 75% sure this girl is no more than a friend..

Answer 4

He has known this girl for fourteen years I bet bet he ends up dumping you and marrying her.

Honest answer...


..

Answer 5

look darling am gonna say one thing :
to me, you should be not only his girlfriend but his bestfriend too, so what he has to share with this other girl, why wont he be sharing it with u?? i think you have big right to be mad sweety!!

Answer 6

my best friend is a girl. her ex is also my best friend. girls choose guy best friends for their great personalities (not to be cocky) so they already kind of like them - even without knowing it. me and my girl BF have kissed lately - alot. tell ur boyfriend to get away from her..NOW.

Source(s):

my obnoxiously large peeee nis.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to tell you this but you're most likely getting dumped. Most guy don't just want to be friends with girls there's almost always something more. But hey maybe i'm wrong.

Answer 8

Stop. Please Stop it!
Take a deep breath.
Relax yourself.
Evaluate the situation.
Your boyfriend has a best girl friend?
Please realize it is okay.
He says that nothing is going to happen,
and he is so very close to her for such along time, longer than your relationship.
It is possible that eventually you will drive your boyfriend away to his best friend
because he may feel friends is more important then a jealous inconsiderate girlfriend.
So your fear might actually come true.

You need to see why you are being so selfish.
Because that is what your acting like.
This guy lives far away from his friend and finally gets to see her,
and it is very understandable why he wants to see her!
He misses his buddy!

You need to evaluate yourself, why you must feel insecure about him, why you need
to feel like he is untrustworthy. See how you might have to let go of him to maybe get to know yourself. Maybe you had childhood problems or something happend to you to make you feel on edge about situations like these.

You need to realize you and find strength in yourself. Individually and in the relationship. It takes strong confidence,trust, and peace in yourself to stay in a committed relationship. You can't always worry what the other is doing! And even if he was messin around.
It will be okay. You will know that he wasn't the one for you.
And you will be okay because you were strong.

And if he isn't you will know you were strong to change for him, because you cared for him.
And you'd know it was right because he is now happy to spend time with his best friend, knowing his girlfriend trusts him and loves him.

He won't have to feel guilty unnessasarily anymore, he will be free of worrying about you and you would be free of worrying of him. Real trust will blossom.

And then you will notice strength in the relationship and see that little stuff like this can either break it or make it even stronger!

Answer 9

life its a wonderful thing isn't it ? ok if its his best friend for over 14 years, the reason why he didn't want you to go with him to see her is because they prob to some silly quarkie things that normally you would prob scratch your head at and prob make you feel like a third wheel. (like a person he cant be around you,) I don't think he wanted to put you through that. his parents prob knows her well, and prob mentioned to his parents that she was in town, and they wanted to see her too, THAT was the more push for him to meet up with her With or without your approval.

ALTHOUGH, his mistake was, He should of invited you to go with him anyway and have you make a decision. I know how this is because I have 4 female best friends. When I introduced them to my wife, things got easier in the trust part of the relationship. this is not his fault entirely, hes to young to understand what he does he should do for the both of you not just himself.

girls should not get too mind scrabbled about things like this, i know how understanding you seemed to be, but in his eyes he seen his best friends coming to town and nothing was gonna stand in his way, IF that friendship is want he says it is, then SHE should ask to see you. and he should honor that. I really hope he don't try to hide you from her, then you really have a problem. things are not what they seem and you have every right to be curious.

Source(s):

life.