Do you think I'm in the wrong or am I right?

Question

Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We just got a house together and everything has been going good for the most part. Now he is 27 and ready for a family and I'm 21 and not so sure I want kids. It really hasn't been a problem because for some reason he thinks I might change my mind. Well he had done overseas about 6yrs. for the military and ended up sleeping with some girl and she had got pregnant. Come to find out she was married she told him that it was either his kid or her husbands. Well when it was born she never got a dna test but she told him that it was her husbands. Now five years later she found him on facebook and told him that she thinks the kid is his but yet she still doesn't want him to be apart of the kids life. She also told him that is not why contacted him. Well if she didn't want to talk about that then why does she keep calling. I said something to him about it and he said well even if I can't see her I still want to make sure she is okay. How would you feel about this?? Honestly I don't like that he is talking to her. Plus he doesn't even know if that kid is his for sure and she want let him find out. Do you think it's wrong of me for not wanting him to talk to her.

Additional Details

I guess I wouldn't care so much if she would let him get a dna test but since she has already said that she wont and that the kid is being raised by her husband and that is all the kid knows and she wants to leave it that way.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

no you know that that dna test should have been out when the baby was born but years later she has not had the test and she is holding this question over you guys heads she wants him back things might have not worked out with her husband!

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

I agree I think the only reason she found him is because things didn't work with her husband and the reason she want get a dna test is more than likely because she knows it's not his kid.

Answer 2

if it is his kid, he should start taking care of it.
i think you are wrong, he isn't flirting with her, he wants to find out if the kid is his or not.

Answer 3

Your too young to be trapped in this situation.Leave him asap and start out on your own.He's already cheated on you,and with a married woman is even worse.It's a big mess you don't deserve.Wait until her husband finds out.Yikes!
Run!Leave.Now!

Answer 4

he is trying to find out if the kid is his thats all....but i kind of agree with packerman- i would leave this situation....just my opinion

Answer 5

I think he should take her to court and the judge will order a DNA test and then she won't be able to refuse. Then, if the child isn't his I would not let him talk to her anymore. If the child is his then he has a right to be a part of his/her life and you shouldn't try to stop him from that.

Answer 6

He's in the wrong...
First for the whole kid thingy, 2nd for making u insecure. He should forget about the kid if the mom says the kid could/couldn't be his.
So, he should focus on you, really...
And even if he wanted to know more about the kid, he can just be direct! talking to the other woman might cauz you guys trouble...

Answer 7

Girl a DNA test will set you free. Why put yourself through this, if the child is not his. closure. If it is, I have to say that I am a step mother and I love those two like they were my own. I even love the ex, if your man and you want a real future, DNA test, plus if he wants children and you absolutely do not, you should let him go. That is not fair. He sounds like a good man, and even good men do stupid things, if that child is his, it's not the child's fault. You will have to except that. Again, DNA will set you free. Hope this helps good luck

Answer 8

Did he sleep with this girl while you were together? If that's the case, I'd leave him now. If this is something that happened in the past, I'd feel pretty angry over this. However, I understand that you wouldn't want him talking to her, but he really has to if he wants to find out if that's his child. And if it is, I'm sure he'll want to be a part of that child's life somehow. It's up to you how tolerant of this you want to be.

Answer 9

NOT AT ALL.would he like it if you had a man friend calling all the time? 'd say watch your back on this one. Sounds like he isnt as commited to you as you might think him saying he just wants to make sure she's ok. That to me is just an excuse to be able to get away with what he's doing and making you think its the right thing to do. And what is he wanting to get back with her after 5 yrs or what. Somethings up somewhere somehow i bet ya and even though its only over the phone still don't make it right, thats two timing in my book, so over the phone or in person he's got something going with another women the way i see it.

Answer 10

Long story not so long he cheated on you.