What can I do to help my husband & my family?

Question

My husband is depressed. It's been awful. He's so moody & angry & mean. He will say anything he can to hurt my feelings. It seems like he's baiting me to fight with him. I don't fall for it but it sucks. I work a full time job & just don't want to come home to that. Then he's fine. He usually withdraws to a book which is fine because it gets his mind off things. He's usually such a nice person so this is hard for me & our Son is starting to notice it too. Our Son is only 11 mo so he doesn't get it but I can tell the baby has noticed that daddy doesn't want to play as much & I can see the baby gets disappointed. My husband & I talked this evening & he said he did want to go to the doctor & get some help he just doesn't want to miss work to do it. He said if there wasn't a doctor who would see him on the weekend he will go during work hours. We're a military family & live in Japan so things are different here. It gets really hard to deal with sometimes. I'm a very happy person & it's hard to deal with a full time Job& being a mom & a wife & having to go home to the man I love being mean to me. I've been there before so I understand how it feels to be depressed. but I don't know how to deal with his anger & moodiness. It really hurts my feelings. Until he gets to a doctor how do I deal with him? & how do I keep our family ok? We talk when he's not angry & he says he doesn't like it that he's been so mean..... he apologizes but I still hurt. I'm gonna stick through this with him. I just need some idea or something I can do to deal with his moods & anger until things get better.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

you need to be there for him. so every night when you go home massage his back and give him kisses and then be intimate with him you need to show him love as much as possible and show him youre there.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

This is exactly what I do for him already :) When I get home I cook him a dinner that he loves, give him a massage & just love him.

Answer 2

I'm not sure if there's anything you can do to make this situation better. It's a very good sign that he's admitting to this problem and willing to get help. When he does, I think things will get better and he'll get the professional help & possibly medication he needs to be himself again. Just keep in mind that your husband is suffering from an illness and that he is not himself right now. Times will get better and hopefully your love will deepen having overcome these challenges. Everyone struggles. It must be tough living so far away from your family & your roots. Hang in there and stay strong for your family and yourself. This too shall pass.

Answer 3

I think you should show him what I do:

It happens to me when I get "out of centre". At least that is what I call it. It is always one fo the same 3 things, Physical Stress, Mental Stress, or Emotional Stress. I just focus on the physical stuff by eating healthy, sleeping enough, and removing caffeine/ alcohol and any supplements. It seems like (for me) if you take care of the physical stress, the mental stress(bills/commitments etc..) can be dealt with easier. Also the mental stress (relationship/guilt/own personal depression) can be coped with with by restarting from today and just making the right little decisions going forward. Its hard to be optimistic when you are down so you have to start fresh and work towards a goal of "centring" who you are. It takes about 1 week before I really notice but every day during that week I feel a little better.

Everybody gets in a rut once in a while, but I find re prioritizing what really matters to you (Health/family/children/love) gets me out of it.

I do not believe in anti depressants. I lost my wife to them 10 years ago. Please do your research before you take them, google look up SSRI or Effexor problem. I have no doubt that they are needed for people who truly need them however I really feel that they are over prescribed and dangerous.

I hope this helps.

Source(s):

My hard knocks life