Girls...women..females. I need advice. READ IT ALL.? HELP?

Question

Yes, this guy is me..I have been single for 2 years now.. I am working my @$$ off at the gym and I lost alot of weight so far, but it aint enough for me to get a GF yet. I dated before, yes, but its been 2 years, last time I had a GF was in 07 and I was in a relationship this year for 4 months but I didnt consider it a "Dating" relationship.

I heard I am average, I heard im hot(Raely but I had heard of it) I heard im a little cute(Not ENOUGH). But whatever..I also need a personnality..but I dont have a good one. I mean yes, I know girls want a guy with personnality but hell..I want to be the best for my GF..and that includes looking good and beautiful.



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Look..I dont go around bugging girls or stuff like that..cause I am really shy..and I fear, if I say something, it will probably something stupid. So all I got is working out, even if that wont help me AT ALL, it will grant me looks but no real relationship.

Its frustrating..and very very sad. I aint here to throw no damn pity party, i am here to get some advice!. Yes, I was very fat lmao, didnt show much cause im tall but, I did it mainly for a healthy body, so I can participate in fun activities, sports, swimming, all that good stuff :).

But the fact is, I am not really good with women, I am too timid and too..idk..I need braces lol, my front teeth are not together and I have a lisp, damn turn off. How the hell am I gonna get a girl with a lisp?

So, what I really ask is, besides looks(Which I am improving..kinda) how should I talk to a girl? I mean, I want it to be perfect..I dont want a girl just for my six packs and abs(Which I dont have yet). But I cant help being convinced that most pretty girls out there care about that stuff..and I am feeling depressed about it. Someone, please help me and give me advice.

Additional Details

Most of you guys have answered my question to the letter and I enjoyed reading it all. Thanks everyone.

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

First of what I read from you is a lot of red flags in your sentences. The biggest problem about yourself is not your weight or something alike. It's your negative thinking in each sentence. Think how you look from a side when you are always thinking about yourself. Your body must be collapsed, you don't look self-confident about yourself, you feel afraid because you're afraid what each woman may think of you at the meeting and etc. STOP! First what you need to change is your thoughts. You need to learn think possitively. And it's no joke. You may think that it's a joke, but it's not. It's a really hard task for you and you even don't understand it yet. I'm sure that even know you're trying to think negatively "Oh, what is she talking about? How can I look nice, if I'm not?!" This is a really hard task for you if you want to find a girlfriend and have a serious relationship - try to catch each of your negative thought and fastly change it to positive! It's not a one day task. You don't need any advice about dating. When you learn how to think positively, your body will talk itself "Hey, here I'm, I'm self confidence and happy man. I am looking good for myself, also I'm very interesting person. So if you want to know me better, let's talk!" Women like self-confident men. And if it would be true that heavy men can hardly find a real love, they all would be singles! :) But they are not. Remember, women like men, who are self-confident and happy for who they are and how they look (even if they are made a mistake choosing a wrong shoes or speech) :)

Source(s):

Just my thoughts ;)

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Your're thoughts helped me, as well as everyone elses. Thanks again everyone.

Answer 2

You say your shy, the probably get tired of working so hard. Its not about looks its about the guy...only guys thinks about looks

Answer 3

what advice are you looking for
you just have to find someone that likes you for you
theres nothing anyone can do to help you with that

Answer 4

although it seems laim search the internet for advice as to how to flirt with women.. it really works.

Answer 5

man u gotta' just be yourself i kno your probably tired of hearing that...but u dont want to be with a girl that only likes u for your body or some fake personality thats not u...when u talk to a girl dont tell her too much about u, ask questions about her...girls like talking about themselves...also find something u have in common and talk about that...but for real talk about HER...GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

Don't make a book out of what you will or wont say to a Woman.
OK if there is someone you may be interested in just ask her point blank if she would like to have a coffee of perhaps lunch with you someday.
And then if she says yes go pick her up with some flowers give them to her at her door so she does not have to carry them all over the place ; )
OK now at the restaurant after you have made your order make small talk with her first and foremost thank her for excepting your invitation ; ) and then make small conversation : )just go with the tide
Good luck Surfer

Answer 7

Fist off relax and breathe for a second. very true girls are very much drawn to good looks but its the personality that keeps them. what you need is confidence. carry yourself that way. have you ever seen a regular guy with a beautiful girl and thought wow how did he get her? happens all the time. the good guys always finish last but u cant give up. so u have a lisp so what. if u were confident in your self it would be cute to girls. jsut be yourself and if girls dont like it then they arent worth your time. you cant do anythign better than be yourself. dont be afraid to talk to girls. talk about anything. smile a lot but dont stand in their buble. practice makes perfect. you might get a lot of no's in the begining but its okay let it stop you

Answer 8

Well i think u need to b yourself, 1 girl doesn't want u to talk all the time how cute, hot or whatever u are, she wants you to be yourself, talk about everything, be a fun person to share with...
Seriously there are a lot of hot guys out there who don't have even a date because they spend all the time just talking about theirselves and don't care about the person who they are with!

Source(s):

experience!

Answer 9

girls like guys with confidence and if you dont have that you dont have anything. you dont need to be shy because if you dont put yourself out there youll never get anywhere. try going to a club or bar to start off at. its easier to talk to a girl when its in a fun environment. you have to believe in yourself or how the hell do you except for a girl to believe in you? there is someone out there that will love you for you...your lisp and all. to be quite frank i dont think that it should matter if you have a lisp if a girl really cares about that she is a heartless biotch... so just be confident your day will come :)
hope that helps

Answer 10

It seems to me that its apparent that you do have a active lifestyle.
That should be your clue, find someone who has a active lifestyle as well.
Whoever she may be.She may be in same situation, and that you both will complement each other by being active.Some couples tend to may i say reflect each other, by the simple active lifestyle.
Be patient with yourself, cause whoever she is, you will find her in due time.
I wish you all the best~
I hope this has been helpful relationally~
Yours truly~
sissa~

Answer 11

ok,I see ur problem and I'm going to solve it real quick.Women like aggressive and upfront guys but because u r shy u r not there yet,I have to help u to forget about that,just do the following: GO OUT AND BE YOURSELF that way u will get attention,sometimes we need more than a @$$hole guy,we want somebody to talk to,a intelligent boy,and that will be u.
Keep working out,that way u wont be stressed.I had the same problem but I stopped going to the gym,now I'm just myself and believe me that now I'm more attractive to guys.
I don't know if this will help u but I don't look for a perfect body boy,I just like the way that this boy treat me.
this is my email if u wanna talk sometime,[e-mail]