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  • Message for Rico about cropped sensors! I cannot seem to reply to you any other way.?

    A cropped sensor camera acts just like any other. You will not cut off anyone's head; how do you think so many were made and sold otherwise. Just buy it and enjoy it.


    3 AnswersPhotography6 years ago
  • Another question about English...?

    Why do people use ECT when trying to abbreviate "etcetera"

    The abbreviation is ETC but about 99% get it wrong.

    I was taught this sort of thing at school; do they not cover these simple facts these days?

    10 AnswersWords & Wordplay7 years ago
  • Teaching English in schools....?

    Why do so many people these days pronounce the letter H as Haytch.

    It is AITCH. You do not make an H sound at the beginning.

    This is particularly noticeable on the news when people keep commenting on the proposed HS2 rail link.

    Does it annoy others or is it just me?

    2 AnswersOther - Education7 years ago
  • Another Chicken across the road one...?

    A chicken was standing on the kerb looking left and right, trying to cross the road.

    A man went up to him and said:

    "I wouldn't do that mate, you'll never hear the last of it"

    12 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Near disaster at a factory...?

    A group of people were touring a factory that made dentures.

    They saw all the processes from getting the pattern for the teeth, filing them to shape and colouring them.

    The last process was "setting" the moulds and the visitors were shown into a large walk in freezer where the teeth go to freeze and harden the plastic.

    Unfortunately, the door slammed behind them, locking them in.

    It was reported in the newspaper the next day with the headline:

    "Tooth Company Freeze a Crowd"

    9 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Career Choices!!...............?

    I used to work in a Helium factory. But left because I didn't like being spoken to in that tone of voice.

    Then I went to a catering company making sandwiches. But I was just filling in.

    Finally I joined a nuts and bolts factory. And found that riveting.

    3 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Keeping odour at bay...?

    A man goes into a chemist shop and asks for a deodorant.

    The assistant asks: "Ball or aerosol?"

    The man replies "No, it's just for under my arms"

    3 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • I can't remember if I've posted this before...?

    Apologies if I have already posted this:

    Three male friends go on a skiing holiday but when they arrive at the resort they’re told there’s a shortage of rooms and they have to share one room and one bed. The men reluctantly agree and all sleep in the same bed that night.

    In the morning, the man on the left wakes and says “I had a strange dream. I dreamt I was being given a hand job”

    The man on the right says “Even stranger, I also dreamt I was being given a hand job!”

    The man in the middle said “Well, I just dreamt I was skiing”

    4 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Having the builders in....?

    They were building a new house next door to mine and my 6 year old daughter was most interested in the proceedings. So much so that she started to chat to the builders whenever I made them a cup of tea.

    After a few days, she began "helping" them, much to their amusement. They let her carry little buckets of water, help with cement mixing and carrying messages about.

    At the end of the week, I was most touched when the builders had a whip round and gave her £10 "wages" for all her hard work.

    Next day, I took her to the bank to open an account and teach her the value of hard work and reward.

    My daughter proudly told the bank cashier how she had "earned" her money by helping the builders all week.

    The cashier asked her "And will you be helping them again next week?"

    My daughter grimaced and said "That all depends if those bastards at the builders merchants get the f***ing bricks delivered on time"

    4 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Any Taxidermists out there?

    An old lady had two pet monkeys for many years. One morning she found them both dead when she got up.

    Wanting to preserve their companionship, she took them to a taxidermist to have them stuffed.

    The taxidermist asked "Would you like them mounted?"

    "Oh no" said the old lady, "Just holding hands will be fine".

    7 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Tiger Woods joke (but not what you're thinking)?

    Tiger Woods is making a right mess of his round and hears a little man in the crowd saying "Rubbish"

    Tiger is furious and flings his club to the ground "OK, if you can do better, let's see it"

    The man takes up the challenge, picks up the club and stands over the ball. It's pretty obvious he's never held a golf club in his life before.

    Tiger shows him how to hold it and how to swing to hit the ball."See that flag up there, you have to hit the ball all the way up to it"

    The man eyes the flag and the ball, takes a sloppy swing and the ball goes flying straight down the middle towards the flag.

    When they get to the green they see the ball is only about two inches from the hole.

    "What do I do now" asked the man.

    Tiger scratches his head in amazement. "Well, you knock the ball into the hole"

    "Blimey" says the man "Why didn't you tell me that back there" !!

    5 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Emigrate to Australia...............?

    Jack emigrated to Australia and bought a farm in the middle of nowhere.

    After a few days, the 'phone rang and the caller said:

    "Hi, I'm Bruce, I'm your nearest neighbour, about 30 miles down the road. Just thought I'd call you and welcome you to Oz"

    Jack said " Wow, that's really friendly of you"

    "Well" said Bruce "Hows about coming to my place on Saturday for a real Aussie barbie? There'll great food, plenty of the Amber nectar and loads of terrific sex"

    "Great" said jack. "I'd love to. What shall I wear?"

    "Wear what you like, they'll just be the two of us"

    9 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Advances in Plastic Surgery...?

    A young lady went to hospital to have some large hanging "ladies bits" removed. She was embarrassed and insisted to the surgeon that no one else should ever know about the procedure she was having.

    She had the op and when she awoke was startled to see three red roses by her bedside. She called the surgeon and said "I told you that no one was supposed to know I was here having this done"

    The surgeon explained: "Don't worry, I gave you one of the roses to cheer you up as you were having this done all alone. The nurse gave you another one for your bravery at having it done"

    "And the third?" asked the girl.

    "That" said the surgeon "Is from the man in the burns unit to thank you for his new ears"

    2 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • A Question about deleted answers on Yahoo! Answers?

    Can someone please enlighten me and explain the following?

    1) Who actually decides to delete an answer? Is it a member of the forum or someone from Yahoo. I have really innocuous answers deleted for, seemingly, no reason.

    2) Appeals process. I used to appeal against my deleted answers but that seems a waste of time. The appeals process says it will inform you of the outcome of the appeal; but they never do.

    3) Why don't they give a definite reason for deleting your answer? All they say is that it contravenes their guidelines. But I'd like to know just how it does.

    Thanks for your answers but take care they are not deleted!

    6 AnswersYahoo Answers7 years ago
  • Service on 'planes!!!!!!!!!!?

    A man's sitting on a plane when the stewardess comes along and says

    "Would you like a drink sir?"

    "Yes please" he says. "I'll have a whiskey"

    Sitting next to him is a very strict Evangelist Minister and the stewardess also asks him if he'd like a drink.

    The Minister glares at her and bellows: "Young lady, I would rather fornicate with the whore of Babylon than let a drop of alcohol pass my lips"

    The first man then says to the stewardess: "Oh, I didn't realise we had a choice. I'll have the same as him please"

    7 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • Canon EOS 7d and battery grip.?

    A long shot but someone might just know the answer!

    I bought a Canon BG-E7 battery grip for my 7D about a year ago and at first it worked fine.

    But now, every time I try to use it, I get

    "Error Message 20; unable to take a photograph. Turn the camera off and then on"

    The camera works fine, if I turn the battery grip off, or remove it.

    I wrote to Canon but received just their standard reply telling me to take it to a repair centre. It's not too important that I really need the battery grip but having paid for it, I don't want to just leave it idle!

    Any clues, anyone?

    3 AnswersCameras7 years ago
  • The illusionist...!!!!?

    An illusionist was on stage doing various tricks and for his piece de resistance brought on a large Alligator.

    To the audiences horror, the illusionist proceeded to put his hand into the alligator's open mouth. When he drew it out unharmed, the audience applauded loudly.

    Then he put his whole arm into the alligator's mouth amid more gasps from the audience. When he withdrew the arm, the audience applauded even more.

    "For my finale" he said "I will do something no man has ever dared before"

    With that, he withdrew his pen*s, put it into the alligators mouth and pulled the mouth closed onto it.

    The audience went wild.

    Picking up a hammer, he hit the alligator on the head, very hard. The alligator opened its mouth and the man put his willy away.

    "Now" he said with a smile. "Is any member of the audience willing to try that?"

    To his amazement an old lady stood up.

    "I'll do it" she said. "But only if you promise not to hit me on the head so hard"

    4 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • When you get to heaven...?

    Three men died and reached heaven at the same time. St Peter met the first man and said "You may enter, but whatever you do, do not step on a duck"

    St Peter opened the pearly gates and the floor of heaven was covered with ducks. The first man took three of four steps but then accidentally stood on a duck. St Peter was straight there; he brought the most ugly woman with him who was hairy, smelly and dirty. He tied the woman to the man and said "Right, your penance is to be tethered to this woman for eternity"

    He then let the next man into heaven with the same instruction; not to step on any ducks. Unfortunately, this man also stood on a duck after a few minutes. St Peter was furious and brought another woman, this time far worse than the first; ugly, smelly, burping and farting. "Your penance is to be tethered to this woman for eternity"

    Now, the third man was let into heaven. He decided to stand still so he wouldn't tread on a duck. He remained still and after about ten minutes, St Peter came over with a most gorgeous woman; great looks and fantastic body, and promptly tethered her to the man.

    "Wow" said the man "I can't believe what I've done for this"

    "Well" said the woman, "I don't know about you but I just trod on a duck"

    1 AnswerJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • It makes you cringe....?

    A vicar in church one Sunday asked his congregation if they had anything they wanted to thank God for. A woman stood up and said:

    "Yes. I want to thank the Lord for saving my husband. A year ago, he had a bad accident and his scrotum was completely smashed"

    There was an audible intake of breathe from the male congregation. The woman continued:

    "The surgeon was amazing, he reconstructed the scrotum and held it all together with a construction of wires and screws"

    Again, the male members all gave a sharp intake of breathe.

    "After six months, the surgeon removed the wires and screws from the scrotum but it then had to be in plaster for another three months" Another gasp from the congregation.

    "And now, a year later the plaster has been removed and my husband is now fit and well and using it every day"

    The vicar was almost moved to tears and asked if anyone else had anything to say.

    A man stood up and said: "I am the husband in question and would like to correct my wife. It was my sternum I damaged"

    2 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago
  • A Riddle for you all?

    Q: What's round and sounds like a trumpet?

    A: A crumpet!

    5 AnswersJokes & Riddles7 years ago