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Barbara

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Questions11
  • Am I being unreasonable in my hurt feelings?

    Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt? This guy I've been seeing (he won't call me his "girlfriend" for whatever reason, even though we've been together for over three months) recently revealed that he won't ever go down on me because he thinks it's gross. Obviously that alone is disappointing, but what's worse is that I've gone down on him several times (each time after he practically begged me to), and I finally did anal with him despite not initially wanting to. I feel a little manipulated now and hurt, especially since he said before that he'd go down on me at some point if I wanted it (I've made it very clear that I do). And of course, the fact that he finds it gross just makes me feel even worse, and it's starting to make me see him as rather immature (he's almost 27).

    Then yesterday he said he'd take me out for lunch after I got out of a meeting, but when I texted him and said I was out, he called me and told me he was instead going to lunch with his friend. I wasn't mad at first, but then all of a sudden all these feelings of hurt started rising up, and now I don't know what to do. I really wanted to talk to him about all of this last night, but he was already out drinking with his coworkers by the time I got out of work and I just didn't have the energy. Trouble is, I don't have much relationship experience and don't even know how to begin bringing up my hurt feelings with him.

    Am I being unreasonable? And if not, what should I do?

    1 AnswerSingles & Dating5 years ago
  • What to do about roommate's dog?

    I moved in with my sister, and then one of my sister's "friends" came to live with us. This girl is overall nice and not that bad of a roommate, but she's not good either. She doesn't work nearly as much as my sister and I do, so she has a lot of free time and uses it to get drunk every night and high on cocaine at least once a week (not kidding). But I could tolerate this because she sleeps over at a guy's place almost every night and therefore isn't around much.

    Then she got a dog.

    It was supposed to be my sister who got a dog, since she's been wanting one for a long time now and had been doing a lot of research. But then one day our roommate went out and got a dog all on her own without getting prior permission or even letting us meet the dog first. This dog SUCKS. Now, I love animals. We grew up with a fantastic dog and three hilarious cats, and our parents currently have another dog that I absolutely adore. My roommate's dog, on the other hand, is not fully house trained (I've come home multiple times to find **** on the living room floor, and he's also peed in the apartment right in front of me), whines incessantly whenever somebody leaves, and just generally does not come across as being that intelligent (as far as dogs go). And my roommate is NEVER around in the evenings and early mornings to take care of him. She just thinks he's adorable (he's not), and it's driving me insane.

    Talking to her about it has proven useless, so what can I do??

    4 AnswersDogs6 years ago
  • Changing last name after marriage?

    I don't want to change my last name after marriage, and my fiance is mad at me. He says it's emasculating if I don't, but I think that's BS.

    There are three reasons I do not wish to change it:

    1. I work as a journalist, and everything I have ever published has been under my maiden name. I've built my entire career on this name, and I feel that changing my last name would not only be confusing for people, but it could actually get in the way of the amount of work I get.

    2. This has been my name my entire life. It is a big part of my identity. I get that in the English language (not so in other languages and non-Anglo cultures) it is traditional for the woman to take the man's last name. However, I also realize that women didn't always have much of a say in the matter. Well, I feel like I have a say now, and I think for me personally, it would be pretty traumatic to give up a piece of my identity just like that.

    3. If anyone thinks I'm being selfish, I've already given up a lot of things for my fiance. When he got a great job offer, I gave up my own job to move to a new city with him and started working in freelance. It's okay, and I'm making comparable money, but I do still miss my old job and coworkers (he knows that, which is another reason I'm pissed about this this whole last name drama). I love this man and have never felt this way before about anyone, but forgive if I'm wrong, isn't there supposed to be more give-and-take in today's marriages?

    So, what can I do?

    10 AnswersMarriage & Divorce6 years ago
  • What can a woman do if she's never had an orgasm?

    So this may sounds odd, but my twin sister recently revealed to me that she has never had an orgasm. Ever. We're 24, and I've been having orgasms since I was 11 (never had one with a guy to be honest, but plenty "solo"). I know it may sound weird to be asking this question, but I can't help but feeling really bad for her. Anyone know anybody in the same situation or have any advice they would give to someone who has never orgasmed? I don't want to badger her about it, but I am concerned for her.

    3 AnswersWomen's Health6 years ago
  • Having both a maid of honor and man of honor?

    So I'm getting married, and I REALLY want to have both my brother sister in my wedding. My fiance already has his best man and groomsmen picked out, and he doesn't know my brother too well (my brother lives across the country and they've only met a few times). He's not opposed to having him as a groomsman, but I know it will be a lot more meaningful for everyone if my brother is in my side of the wedding party.

    However, I'm already planning on asking my sister to be my maid of honor. See, the three of us are triplets, and I'm very close with both of them (I've long considered them to be my two best friends). I thought it was a great idea to have them be my honor attendants, but a couple of my friends are saying that it would be weird for people. Just looking to see what other people think about this matter.

    6 AnswersEtiquette7 years ago
  • If there is an afterlife, what is the point?

    Even as a child, I could never quite believe in an afterlife. I mean, I always felt that I would like there to be some sort of afterlife because obviously the thought of our lives just ending and going into nothingness is pretty scary, but in many regards I feel that an afterlife is just a great improbability. I mean, what would the point be? If it is infinite, why? Wouldn't it get incredibly boring going on forever? If the afterlife is only temporary, what comes next? And after that? Basically, I just can't wrap my head around the idea of an afterlife, because while we often struggle to figure out the purpose of life, it seems even less likely that there is any real purpose of an afterlife. Even if it was to "reward" or "punish" us for the way we lived on earth, what's the point? Why go on forever?

    Anyone else have any theories?

    3 AnswersReligion & Spirituality7 years ago
  • When did you stop believing in Santa Claus?

    Just curious. Merry Christmas everyone! And Happy Holidays to everyone else!

    5 AnswersOther - Holidays7 years ago
  • How come different races/ethnicities seem to age so differently?

    I'm only in my 20s, but I've noticed among my parents' friends (all in late 50s and 60s) that the white people have been steadily aging visibly for years while the black ones have looked fairly young this entire time, but now a couple are suddenly starting to look very old. They don't have too many Asian friends, but it seemed like they suddenly started looking old several years ago after looking younger than everybody for so long. There are a couple of exceptions of course, which I'm sure depends on people's genes-- but for the most part this is what I have noticed.

    Just to be clear, I personally don't think there's anything wrong with aging. Obviously I'm not looking forward to it myself, but I think we all need to accept the fact that we will all go through it unless we die young. I'm just interested in why it is different races seem to age differently. Anyone know of any studies done on this?

    3 AnswersOther - Cultures & Groups7 years ago
  • My friend lost her bladder control in front of me. Is she okay?

    A very good friend of mine and I were walking today, and all of a sudden she stopped and blurted out "Oh my God!" and just lost her bladder control right there on the sidewalk. She was wearing a skirt, and it just happened very suddenly and all at once, almost like when a pregnant woman's water breaks. Obviously she was humiliated, but I really didn't blame her at all and was very unphased by it, though I couldn't tell if she believed me when I told her that I really did not care (I do regret using this choice of words, as I DO care about her health and her emotional state after something like this). She began to say something like "I think I may have a problem... I'm so sorry," but didn't go into any more detail, and I of course wasn't going to pressure her.

    I feel bad for her, and I really don't see her or our friendship any differently as a result of this, but I am a bit concerned for her health, since she is a young woman in her 20s and this sort of thing shouldn't be happening. Anyone have any experience with something like this?

    1 AnswerWomen's Health7 years ago
  • I'm terrified of having a mentally retarded child!?

    Okay, so I know how that may sound, but I think it would be incredibly unfair to myself and everyone around me if I lied and said I was cool with caring for a mentally retarded child. I'm not. I know that it is something I could never handle 24/7, for years at that.

    However, my boyfriend and I have recently started talking about marriage. I love him deeply and believe him to be my soulmate, but he has two siblings who are mentally retarded. One is so bad that she has never held a job, can barely speak, and has to have every little thing done for her. The poor woman's parents are going to have to take care of her for the rest of their lives, and then I suppose maybe she'll have to live with us (which I'd feel very uncomfortable with, but she's already family so I'd feel guilty turning her away). The other sibling is not as bad, but he still is limited in a lot of areas. He may never be able to be completely on his own either.

    I know this stuff is genetic (those two aren't the first in their family history to have these cognitive issues), but the thought of having a child of my own like that simply terrifies me. This sounds awful, but I feel as thought I would never love that child 100 percent, at least not as much as I'd love a child without any form of retardation. I've expressed my concerns to my boyfriend, and he admitted he is also concerned about having a child like that, but he said that since we both want children that's a risk worth taking. I'm not sure that it is though. Aside from my own personal issues with it, I'm aware that there are so many other reasons for not having a mentally retarded child (I won't go into detail because I know some people out there may feel offended, however true the reasons may be).

    Advice? This should get resolved before we get married, right?

    6 AnswersOther - Pregnancy & Parenting7 years ago