Ever been the black sheep?
Doesn't it suck being the "what not to be" child of the family? I'm 21 and live by myself. My little brother is a pot head, yet he's better than me, the eldest whom is dating an older men, who is an atheist, who is still trying to find out what the hell she's trying to do in with her life. I admit, they have nothing but good intentions and they can be helpful. I do not hate them, I love them. However, they're kind of hateful. They constantly badger me about my stances politically. None of my opinions hold any merit to them. There's always something wrong with me. How I act, dress, what I believe. They ask me constant personal questions. I cannot tell them anything about myself. It feels like they expect me to do whatever they want. They won't but out of my affairs. Especially my father...for example he's anti gay marriage, I'm pro gay marriage. He always equates it to bestiality and polygamy. He always says "vote Republican."
It's not that I'm ungrateful or anything of that sort either.
They tell the rest of the extended family all of my affairs as well. So when we go somewhere they all treat me weirdly.
How do I get them to take me seriously?
- DorianLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
I can relate to that. My family is strictly religious, and my younger brother and sister are clones of what my parents want them to be, but I am not. Any opinion I have, no matter what the subject, is usually invalid or ignored. I am more liberal than my family, also pro gay marriage. I tried to hide who I was for a long time and not let them know how I felt about different issues, but your true self will emerge, whether you want it to or not.
The real reason they are interferring is because they are afraid you won't do what they want you to do. If you aren't living at home, I'd say avoid visiting them whenver possible. Come up with a polite excuse. If they try to tell you what to do, just say something like, "Thanks for the advice, and I will not do anything against my conscience." (hey, you don't have to tell them that your moral dictates are different from theirs) Even though they may send you on guilt trips, you do not have to do what they want you to. Unfortunately, controlling parents seem to be a losing battle. If you do not listen to them, they ride your @$$, but if you go along with everything they say, they do not respect you as an individual. Ultimately, probably the only solution is to move to another state where they can't contact you as much. If you live on your own, why not relocate?
- 1 decade ago
You can either do exactly what they want you to do and prove that you are incapable of leading your own life or you can realize that you are the master of your own life. Make your own choices and know that right or wrong, you are your own person. God made you and for that instant you were perfect. After that, it's all up to you.
In my family we all take turns being the black sheep. But none of us ever feel like we are completely appreciated. You get used to it and realize that sometimes the best you can, is as good as it is ever going to get.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You have to live your own life. Sometimes new friends and people in general that are not blood are more supportive that actual family. From experience, move away if you can, if you can't you are going to have to "IGNORE" them and let their judgements and their words ride with the wind, BE TOUGH>
- P-NutLv 71 decade ago
From one black sheep to another..... Grin and bear it baby cause, it ain't ever gonna stop. You know you are a good person, so whatever negativity they show towards you, just consider the source and keep smiling.
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- mimiLv 41 decade ago
You can ignore their opinions but still care and love them. Don't mind what they say. You need to have confidence on yourself. You know you are a good person, you are independent and you have your own thoughts. You don't need their approval. Be happy and be who you are.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
you should tell them how u feel and make it clear that u want them thatu think nothings wrong with u and they should support u at what u do
- Jim GLv 71 decade ago
my brother has been divorced many times and he refers to himself with that term. I say don't be so hard on yourself, you redheaded stepchild! lol