Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

Would u like to be able to do this?

Dennis Weatherman arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by another man.

Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported income. How do you explain that?" Dennis replied, "I love to gamble and I always win." The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look. "I can prove it," said Dennis. "How about a demonstration?" The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Dennis said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!" Dennis removed his glass eye and bit it. The official's jaw dropped. Dennis said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The official could tell Dennis wasn't blind, so he took the bet. Dennis then removed his dentures and bit his good eye. The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!

Dennis said, "Want to go double or nothing? I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and **** into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between." The official, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again! Dennis climbed up on the official's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and pretty much got pee all over the desk. The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win! But then he noticed that Dennis's friend looked ashen and was visibly shaking. "Are you okay?" he asked. The man replied, "Not really. Yesterday Dennis bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd **** all over your desk and you'd be happy about it!"

11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

    "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

    "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

    "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

  • 1 decade ago

    Very funny

  • 1 decade ago

    Great, Very funny LOL

  • 1 decade ago

    he he he dennis is a very smart man lol

    & no i wouldnt be able to do this

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wow, that's a great joke!

    Thanks for making me giggle.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    lol that is hillarious. I would so want to be able to that. Keep posting good ones!

    : )

  • 1 decade ago

    yes. definately. i think that was the joke from resovoir dogs

  • 1 decade ago

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god that is so halerious its been 5 minutes and im still laughing.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    That is precious!!! Turned the screw on the IRS man great job. Thanks for telling it.

  • 1 decade ago

    a classic!

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