Does anyoen with social anxiety/paranoia have ideas to help me calm down now?

my husband just called and told me there's a big party at some restaurant tongiht to celebrate his favorite NCO's leaving.....i have to be ready in about 4 hours ot leave, i have no clean clothes i need a shower i look a mess i just gained five pounds this past week from binging....and i have to go impress his superiors and his friends. i know i sounds stupid, and i should know i dont have to but...god, im sitting here crying and hyperbentilating...I have very bad social paranoia, and it's freaking me out....what;s worse it it;sat a RESTAURANT. they willl want me ot eat and I can't eat in forn of them especially not an itian restaurant, all the food is so messy and i look like a pig. m,y typing is horrible right now, i know, i'm really osrry, just.....does anyone else who can sympathize have any tips or ways to calm down now? I KNOW i shouldn't be so stressed but this is terrible.

Update:

Okay...I've answered some questions to take my mind off of it and that's help considerably.

A few points...I'm not depressed. I'm not just freaking out that I don't look good. It's like...I can't describe it. Like if everyone was actually laughing at you all the time, calling you fat and hating you, even your closest friends thought you were disgusting and ugly and rude and mean and horrid...that's how I feel all the time. And he just sprung this on me and I went bonkers. I'm better now. Still don't have anythign to wear. Still have only 3 1/2 hours to become the perfect soldier's wife, but at least I can breathe.

Update 2:

To this guy:

"Honey, I'm sorry to say this, but I think you already know what I'm going to say. You NEED HELP! That is not a bad thing. If you do not seek help you will lose the love of your life and that will be harder to deal with. PLEASE CALL A DEPRESSION OR SUICIDE LINE right NOW!! There are people that can help you, it's not just you! There is a problem that makes you afraid to go to this kind of event. These events will happen all your live, especially if you have children. PLEASE ASK FOR HELP. otherwise I think you will be a pathetic person that is alone and can't manage life at all. You have someone that loves you, do it for him. Good luck, 2007 could be your year!"

Uh...did you ever read my question? Why would I call a suicide hotline? I'm not suicidal in the least! I have social anxiety and it's hell, but really...pay attention before you answer.

17 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Had a similar situation the other night. Social anxiety bad-had to meet with my husband's prospective business partners (he made the plans and didn't even ask me) at a 5 star hotel on the beach and I freaked and got sick with dread. He told them they had to meet his wife!!! Only thing I can say is that it's never as bad as you think it will be and people don't really expect anything from you, let them do all the talking, entertaining, just smile. Also if you can put on some of your favorite music while you get ready it will help you...and wear a nice fragrance. Do what it takes to act calm and you can fool the world. I know...I do it all the time (even though I hate it) and no one seems to understand how a person can feel the way you (and I) do. Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Honey, I'm sorry to say this, but I think you already know what I'm going to say. You NEED HELP! That is not a bad thing. If you do not seek help you will lose the love of your life and that will be harder to deal with. PLEASE CALL A DEPRESSION OR SUICIDE LINE right NOW!! There are people that can help you, it's not just you! There is a problem that makes you afraid to go to this kind of event. These events will happen all your live, especially if you have children. PLEASE ASK FOR HELP. otherwise I think you will be a pathetic person that is alone and can't manage life at all. You have someone that loves you, do it for him. Good luck, 2007 could be your year!

    Source(s): Life experience
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    sure does sound like anxiety disorder nothing more then that .

    that's enough right.

    go have your shower and when you in there relax think about the water and how good it feels and what its like to swim and so on

    later as you get ready just demand that you think about memories of fun even better funny times in your life.

    put on some clothes go to the party and don't think of it as a party so much as a time when you will stand around with your husband smile shake hands and listen to him and his friends ramble on about some army stuff. really that is all you gotta do smile shake hands and pretend that all this military talk is just the most interesting stuff you ever heard all the while your holding your husbands arm and letting him do all the talking

    at some point you should consider talking to a doctor about this

    and your making this sound with the use of your words like its something a crazy person has. that isn't the case at all it so common that if you were to find a medical doctor that had not treated someone with this problem i think you would have found yourself a person who is faking being a real doctor.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You sound like a mess! You should calm down. I know this is one of those apparent answers that you get, but maybe you should have a routine for calming down. You have something wrong with your social skills? Well, what are you doing right now? You are obviously, without a doubt, connecting to people in the internet, another way of socializing. Going to an expert works to. (not trying to sound like a facist pig or anything, but would you rather be forever standing at this frozen state?)

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Do some situps, take a quick walk.. Get your blood pumping for 15 minutes.. you will feel much better.. wear something comfortable, not form fitting and use a salad plate as your main course plate so you eat less.. Maybe it is going to be your menstrual time and you just are real bloated.. Get to the root on why you are so depressed and then procflaim you will start new tomorrow! It will be okay!!

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I'm a very shy person. I suffer from social phobia and shyness. I bought many books about the topic to improve my situation. Here is a good resource that can help you overcoming your problems http://www.goobypls.com/r/rd.asp?gid=296. I'm using it myselft and results are encouraging so far

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't have social anxiety, but i do have generalized anxiety disorder and sometimes suffer from panic attacks and what i have found helps me best is therapy and medication. in therapy, i figure out why i get so anxious and worried and my therapist helps me come up with other ways of thinking about situations. the medicine calms my mood and keeps me level headed. They are both a life saver for me!! look into it if you think you might be interested.

  • 1 decade ago

    Eh heh heh.

    Be careful how you eat! Put on a dress, the fanciest and best looking thing you can find, and do your best. :)

    Also, be sure you know where all the exits in the building are in case you need to make a quick exit to take a breather, that's what I do. And stay near the door, as well. Again, quick exit.

    Good luck :)

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    I have read some litterature about panic attacks. But they allways seem to have a more scientific approach and that is nothing I need in my struggle to survive those horrible panic attacks. This is a "hand on" and very practical book. I felt it was written to me. I am sure that you are going to feel the same.

    Joe Barry writes exactly how I think. The examples are perfectly described. And the method is genius. I recommend this book and thanks Joe Barry for writing it. It changes your life

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    aww, i'm sure they'll be busy saying there good bye's to the guy who's leaving, not judging you the whole time. but i think you should do your make up REALLY nice, wear a knockout dress, and walk in there feeling hot and thinking his co-workers are admiring your husbands beautiful wife. just smile and be polite, you don't have to be the life of the party.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.