I felt extremely depressed awhile ago. Could that be because I'm trying to change how I think?

I'm 17, had to grow up in a house with a ada who drank and was a bit abusive, had to deal with my family's negative attitudes, and I isolate myself from everyone. I've just about lived my life with a negative attitude, always seeing the bad in myself and dwelling on my problems. Recently I've... show more I'm 17, had to grow up in a house with a ada who drank and was a bit abusive, had to deal with my family's negative attitudes, and I isolate myself from everyone. I've just about lived my life with a negative attitude, always seeing the bad in myself and dwelling on my problems. Recently I've started to take steps to better myself. I'm getting counselling and it's helping a little. Today I did my best to be positive and tell myself I'm worthy of love and getting help and that I should try to accomplish my goals instead of being afraid to try. A couple hours ago, I felt horribly depressed. I was about ready to commit suicide. It just lasted for a little bit, but it was awful. I never felt that depressed before. I kept telling myself I deserved to be hated and such. I feel a little better now, but it was weird. I'm still trying to get used to changing myself. Could this have been a side-effect of going on the path to happiness or what?
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