Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

I felt extremely depressed awhile ago. Could that be because I'm trying to change how I think?

I'm 17, had to grow up in a house with a ada who drank and was a bit abusive, had to deal with my family's negative attitudes, and I isolate myself from everyone. I've just about lived my life with a negative attitude, always seeing the bad in myself and dwelling on my problems. Recently I've started to take steps to better myself. I'm getting counselling and it's helping a little. Today I did my best to be positive and tell myself I'm worthy of love and getting help and that I should try to accomplish my goals instead of being afraid to try. A couple hours ago, I felt horribly depressed. I was about ready to commit suicide. It just lasted for a little bit, but it was awful. I never felt that depressed before. I kept telling myself I deserved to be hated and such. I feel a little better now, but it was weird. I'm still trying to get used to changing myself. Could this have been a side-effect of going on the path to happiness or what?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's good that you're claiming your future as your own, by making steps to improve yourself, because your family may have made your childhood difficult, your future doesn't have to be the same. You can't change what's happened to you but you can shape your own future right now.

    When you were depressed hours before and you told yourself you deserved to be hated, can I ask why? What have you done to deserve this kind of hatred? Is it guilt? Own up to whatever you've done in the past and don't blame it on your family, even though the abuse that you've gone through was not your fault.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't think it was because you were trying to be happy - but it very well could be from this internal battle you're fighting. If all you've ever known your whole life is negative and now you're trying to change positive your mind is going to resist.

    But keep trying! I think it's amazing and great what you're trying to accomplish! You will do it!!

    Good Luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    yeah. I mean...I don't get as sad as I used to....like I was on the verge of suicide....yet I'm alot happier now...but I still feel gloomy alot....it's just I'm stronger and I don't want to hurt myself.

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