judy b asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

What can I do to get along with a boss who is a bully?

I work at home and she comes to me house 2 or 3 times a week and I dread her visits. No matter what I do it is wrong. I know I am getting over sensitive but it seems that since this trigger is pulled I can't unpull it. I can think that I am perfectly organized and that I have every thing ready for her but she always asks for the one thing I don't have. I am so nervous and uptight that I do make mistakes or even procrastinate on doing the work because I know it will be wrong. One day last week I woke up and I was happy because I said to my husband this is Sunday right and he said try Wednesday, another moring I had nightmares all night and woke up with a panic attack and couldn't breath, last night when I would wake up briefly I was trying to figure out if it was Sat or Sun. guess what it's Tuesday. My husband is also very critical so between them I am ready to lose it seriously I am desperate

Update:

I wrote this at 4:00 am brain not on full speed ahead. I should ment ion that she does not yell, scream or holler. She speaks slowly like your stupid, rolls her eyes and sighs. He license plate reads SWMBO. she who must be obeyed. She has adopted an upper crust British Accent and a hyphenated last name. I did not sleep at all last night

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Bully bosses are tough. The only thing that I've found that works is when you control the environment and conversation. For example, I would try to meet her at a coffee shop from now on instead of your house. Also, if you don't already, I would send her an agenda ahead of time and stick to the agenda. If she starts going off the agenda, say something like "I want to table that for now until we get through these other things that I need your help with." If she asks you for something you're not prepared for, make sure you have a few ideas on the project, and then ask her advice. I usually say something like "I'm so glad you asked about that--here's where I'm at. I can go in this direction or that direction. Do you have a preference, or can I just move forward." You have to show her you are in control.

    Oh, and DON'T procrastinate. Bullies can smell that a mile away. Do the most hateful task first thing in the day and get it out of the way.

    As for your hubby, that's a tough one. My husband and I try to ask each other what's really going on if we get too critical of one another. We might say, "are you really mad at me about not washing the dishes, or did something happen at work today." It's saved us from A LOT of fights. Of course, he has to be willing to talk with you.

    Good luck on both fronts. Remember, you are a good person and deserve to be treated well.

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is a high stress and in your own home makes it worse. It may be time to check on other work options. If your husband object speak up that te stress is eating you up and need medical care if continues.

    Mean while prepare before and think each step out. If her bullyness continues then its time to give notice. Ask for exactly what you need do that was incorrect or whatever meanwhile. Sorry cant think of more., but its obvious you cant keep up at this pace.

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  • 1 decade ago

    listen girl.. dont panic.... your dreams and not remembering the days are just because you panic a lot...

    I can understand how it is to work with a boss like this...

    The problem is that your boss speaks less to you and she only demands things... you need to understand your boss... and get over it.... you might want to watch the movie. "Devil wears Prada"...

    Its a cool movie and aboout a girl who handles her life and her boss simultaneous ly.... it will really help you a lot.... trust me...

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