Well, the grammar errors *are* a problem. Some people aren't bothered by them, but they do bother many readers (including me).
I wonder which other pair of eyes is looking at Snape's parents while they argue. Snape's is one. Who's are the others?
I find it odd that Snape's mother ever loses a fight with his Muggle father. Lose an argument? Sure. Lose when a physical altercation occurs? Seems very unlikely, unless his mother is an alcoholic or some such. Clearly, an individual witch or wizard's magic - and Snape's mother went to Hogwarts - is far superior to anything a single Muggle can muster. Even a first-year can beat a full-grown Muggle man with a simple "Petrificus Totalus" spell, unless they are ambushed by the Muggle.
The story is not bad at all. In fact, I would say that it is too short. But, if you are not going to make more effort at correct grammar, it is probably not worth your while to make it longer.
⌘ http://www.life-after-harry-potter.com ⌘
· 1 decade ago