I have just giving birth 2 weeks and 2 days ago.. To my suprise my earge to have sex is back already?
But I am still too sore to have sex. My Boyfriend isn't very lovey dovey and wont touch me in anyway.. what do i do.... and why is this happening everyone i have talked to says they didnt want to have sex for months after birth. Why am i so different?? Can anyone help me?
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Boy - now THAT is a can of worms opened. There are usually 2 answers about sex after birthing - 'sex is nonexisitant' or 'everything is fine" ( though this one is sadly much fewer than the first one) . This is a subject most of us are too shy to talk about even with girlfriends - which makes is really sad and a danger to our wellbeing and health in the long run.
There are many women whose birthing experience has lead them to a greater appreciation of sensuality and sexuality – I know of some who have even described birthing as orgasmic ( I wish I could say the same – but no) . Many of these women have experienced an awakening or a growing awareness of their sexual spirit and their libido matches this driving desire. After experiencing such an emotional and hormonal rush such as birthing, these women feel free and powerful in the feminine sense. They become mistresses to their sensuality and are ready to continue their sexual relationships with their partners almost immediately.
There are many ways of showing your affection, maintaining the connection with your partner and having sexual contact with your partner, without having penetrative vaginal sex. Physical affection includes hugging and cuddling, holding hands, kissing - and ensuring that we tell our partners that we love them. Communicating your needs and encouraging your partner to communicate his are also important. Perhaps you can explore alternatives to vaginal sex while you allow your body to rest, heal and recover from birth (it takes up to and sometimes longer than 12 months for the a woman's body to fully recover from birth).
Everyone’s experiences make them an expert in their own right - so what is right for one couple may not be appropriate for another. Most couples wait for the magical 6 week mark and are dreadfully disappointed when that incredible pre birth sex doesn’t happen ( and for some sometimes for months or years it just doesn’t come back to normal!!). Remember too your partner is dealing with a complete switch from seeing you birth ( or hearing about it if they weren’t there) and seeing you now as a mother – rather than just seeing you as a partner. It all depends I guess, on your birth experience and the damage ( physically and mentally) that you ( and your partner) have endured and the meanings both of you place upon those experiences in relation to sex. Birthing brings up a whole heap of “stuff’ for couples and good communication is paramount.
The physical facts are that within six weeks of birthing, your uterus should be back to its pre-pregnancy weight and size. Breastfeeding assists in stimulating the hormones released around this function..This is the reason that you are meant to have a six week check up and then are medically are ‘fit’ to commence intimate relations. Your vagina will change shape – even if you had a C section – but especially ( obviously) if you birthed naturally. This does not have to mean for the worse – as many women report a heightened sensuality after birthing – so it CAN be so much better afterwards. Ignored and unaddressed are the emotional and psychological changes that have occurred.
The Reclaim Sex After Birth site http://reclaimsexafterbirth.com/ has lots of information on it and you can purchase the book Reclaim Sex After Birth: a survival guide for couples there which includes the personal stories of three women and lots of information about how things change after birth for couples.Source(s): http://reclaimsexafterbirth.com/
- Anonymous6 years ago
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- Take A Test!Lv 71 decade ago
Find other ways to be intimate other than penetration. You should not be having anything inside the vagina for 6 weeks after delivery no matter if you feel good or not - there is still much internal healing taking place even if you feel well. You are at a high risk for infection, as the inside of the vagina and the cervix have many tiny abrasions, and the uterus where the placental attachement was is like a big open sore.
6 weeks isn't that long to wait for intercourse when it's your health that's at stake.
And you're not different - many women have their sex drive return very soon. Which leads women into having sex too soon and as stated, risking infection. If they have seen the women I have seen in the hospital with severe postpartum infections, even sepsis, they wouldn't be feeling so horny.Source(s): RN, OB, L&D
- Anonymous7 years ago
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- Peanut ButterLv 41 decade ago
After births #1-3, I had no interest until several months postpartum. However, after the birth of child #4 early last summer, I was interested within 48 hours. Of course, I've been more interested in sex in the last couple of years of our marriage than I was early on. Everyone's different!
- 1 decade ago
You aren't that different. A lot of us feel the same way. (I just gave birth on the 16th, and it irks me that I'm still bleeding because it kills the mood for my husband). Just give your boyfriend time to get used to your new life. If you haven't tried already, talk to him about why he isn't interested right now. He may just be totally stressed or grossed out by the birth or just so darn tired now that the baby is here that he isn't feeling that way. If you've tried talking, you may just have to leave it alone till he's ready. Good luck and congratulations on the baby!
- Anonymous5 years ago
Yes it is very easy to get pregnant after having a baby. I am in the exact same situation. Use condoms/birth control anything. I am nervous that I have gotten pregnant and I gave birt 2 1/2 months ago.
- 1 decade ago
I was the same way after both of mine. My husband was ready to do it again too so we were just very gentle and carefull and used a condom b/c you can get pregnant really easily during the first 6 wks after you give birth. If you talk to him and he still doesn't want to you still have options, yourself. But if you can get the chance it really does feel good (and I think a little better than before) just talk it easy at first.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You are craving closeness, cuddles and LOVE !!! Tell your partner to give you affection. It is actually abuse to withold affection from an adult you are involved with... You are putting so much energy into your first child that your man needs to top up your basket with piles of kisses and cuddles and telling you that you are beautiful and sexy...
Wanting sex 2 weeks after having baby isn't weird my hubby and I resumed our sex life as soon as I felt comfortable ( about 3 - 4 weeks after having our babies ). Let your partner know that this is how you are feeling and tell him off if he continues to neglect your need for affirmation and LOVE. Good luck, if all else fails run home to mama for a few days with the baby Lol.
- 6 years ago
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