English homework help?

Hey , plz help me with my english writing exercise. From 1 to 6, what my teacher would give me?by the wa, plz edit it for me. Thx a lot!!!!!

Task: How would a Lottery win change your life... and possibly that of your famil, friends, and even your local community?<write a brief paragraph about the potenially life changing event of winning a lottery>

Here is my paragraph

For many, winning a Lottery jack pot is a new start of a life, but for me, it`s just a start of a night mare.Everyone has a dream about life,my dream isnt about living in a big house with enough bathroom, drive a brand new BMW in the downtown of the city,and sit on the soft boss chair waiting for the coffee break.My dream is about love, friendship, and hapiness.Sometimes,Money can help me get something i need, at the same time, money can still make me lose somthing priceless. Many millionaires don`t feel happ even though they are successful and wealthy from other`s eyes. How does that happen?When i`m getting rich,friends are no longer friends, new people come to me,and old friends leave me.People change all the time. I will be surrounded by more and more people. Suddenly, i become the talk of the crowd.Many people greet me with a filtitious enthusiasm. Money and the crowd draw me in to a black hole.I will be surrounded by loneliness, as im surrounded by the crowd. Those people who truly love me will leave me one by one, because they might think im an another person now since i get rich. On my scale, friendship is heavier than the money. Winning a lottery does not do anyting good to people like me

2 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    wow u impress me.... i wud give u 10.... good luck !

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds good. Do a spell check though and do a grammar check to make sure all is right.

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