Is my translation from Latin correct?

This is the text I wish to translate:

Satyros hoc excitat

Et Dryadum choreas

Redivivis incitat

Hoc ignibus Napeas

Hoc Cupido concitus

Hoc amor innovatur

Hoc ego sollicitus

Hoc mihi me furatur

Si quis amans per amare

Mereri posset amari

Posset Amor michi velle

Mederi dando beari

This is what I have so far:

"This excites the satyrs

and the choruses of Dryads.

By means of rekindled fires,

this incites the valley-nymphs.

"By this, Cupid is invoked.

By this, love is renewed.

By this, I am shaken.

This steals me from myself.

If a loving one could, by loving,

deserve to be loved,

Amor could make [me] happy

by giving [another person] the will to heal me."

I'm concerned only with the grammar. I know my translation's very clinical, but I just want it to be correct, and as literal as possible. Thanks in advance.

Update:

I think you're bluffing, Matajimaya.

2 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It is correct. It should be beati in Latin not beari.

    If your translation holds as for the logic of it, then you know you have correctly translated your text and the grammar. I am very impressed and I salute you!

    Vale!

    Source(s): me
  • ?
    Lv 4
    7 years ago

    Its likely that 'Satyros hoc excitat' is 'the Satyr (ie the god Faunus/Pan) excites this', seeing as the title of the song from which these lyrics are drawn is 'Satyros', rather than 'Satyri', and the band is actually called Faun. I would translate it:

    The Satyr excites this

    and the choirs of Dryads

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