How do I let go of the family?
I have been separated from my family by my father when I was 13. he brought me to he U.S and gave me up for adoption with out letting my mother know.
Its been over 20 yrs since the separation and they kept in contact with me until my sister who is younger then me got married.
Some how since she got married and I am older then her and single the family had choose to view me as dead and can not be upfront with it, but instead emotionally to play the mind game.
Even lately every time I am in contact with them I feel I am being emotionally abused by not only the family but also there relatives.
Lately I keep wanting to completely banish them out of my mind, sight and to not ever look back to not even have any objects around me from them. But how do I do that? I am tired of there game and I feel I have reached the limit.
- LunaLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
People who feel the need to put others down in order to feel better about themselves do so out of insecurity and selfishness because they're unwilling to fix their own lives.
You would break away from them the same way you would break away from any other relationship. You talk to them, tell them how their treatment has affected you over the years and how you finally realize that you are not to blame for anything that happened to you when you were a child, nor are you to blame for their bad choices in life.
Tell them you have a right to live a full life, with as little pain as possible and for that reason you are making the decision to walk away from them. Any psychologist will tell you that when you reach a point where you can't "fix" a relationship, it's time to move on. They will tell you an honest truth: that there is nothing selfish in getting away from people who bring you down.
You can leave the door open by telling them that if they ever come to their senses and learn how to treat you decently, then your door will be open for them; but ONLY then.
Once you have this, you need to fill your life with as much positive as you can. Surround yourself with people who love you, respect you, etc. Find some volunteer work that you're good at, and in helping others not only will you feel good about yourself for being helpful, but you'll meet new people who have a positive outlook on life. Whatever you do, don't dwell on the negative family you lost. You'll not be the first person who ever existed that went out on their own.