Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthWomen's Health · 1 decade ago

sex question.. i'm a virgin, 15; should i or not? I don't think i'm ready but... [please help + answer]?

I just started dating this guy, we've been dating for about 2 and a half weeks and i really like him. now HE'S not pressuring me about it, he says he'll wait for me. I'm a virgin. But it seems like usually when people date, about 2 monthes into it everyone assumes they're having sex already! i'm scared that if i date him for a long time people will ask him and pressure us. what should i do? i'm actually thinking of breaking up with him (although i really like him and wanna be with him for a long time) just because it's known as "unusual" to not have sex after a few monthes of dating in highschool :(

i don't wanna seem lame or make him wait too long.. how long is too long to make him wait?

cause i'm not ready..

i'm not ready because i'm nervous about alot of stuff ..

Update:

my boyfriend ISN'T the one i feel pressure from, i already said that!

but thanks everyone <3

24 Answers

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  • Zyggy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You aren't lame. Two months and then having sex? A lot of adults don't have sex after two months. Your idea of a long time may not be the same as his, and do you want to have sex with someone that in three months (regardless of whether or not you have sex) moves on to another girl and leaves you? He may not be pressuring you now, but it's only been 2 and a half weeks. I would stop stressing over it and tell him up front that you want to wait some time and see what happens. A person that wants to be there to be with you will stay around, someone who doesn't will make excuses and leave.

    Talk about this with him. Let him know that you are afraid that peer pressure is going to get the best of one of you and that's not how you want to have your first time. Your first time shouldn't be because everyone else is doing it, that's not a good enough reason. Enjoy talking together, enjoy movies and books and just spending time together. A successful relationship at this age doesn't have to have sex to be a good one.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Look, if you're not ready, absolutely do NOT do it. If you aren't totally ready for it, it won't be enjoyable for either of you. I mean, I guess i can't actually say that for sure cuz I'm still a virgin too, but seriously, EVERYONE that I have talked to about it says that. And just an FYI, I am 18 years old and have never had sex. Have I been pressured? Oh hell yeah! By just about every guy I have ever spoken to! But I also find that if you're easy, guys treat you like ****. I am not easy. Guys are usually pretty respectful of me and treat me like a queen. Girls admire me because I can hold onto it. I can't even tell you how many times I have heard, "You're so lucky that you're waiting. I wish I had. That's awesome." The only time that I was ever ridiculed about it was when a guy was trying to get me into bed. I hear, "Wow. You are the oldest virgin I know." followed by, "Want me to fix that?" It's actually kind of a turn on for them because they feel that they are taking somthing that no one else has. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin.

    Now the him part. If he is willing to wait... HOLD ON TO HIM!!! Lol. Seriously, guys are horny deviants. They will only very rarely go at your pace. If he is willing to do that, let him! Does he want it? Definintely! Might he get bored eventually? Very possible! But is he worth sleeping with then? No! When the time is right, you will know, and it should be no sooner than that. If he is willing to wait, let him. Don;t break up with him over this.

    And let people assume what they want. If you hear about it, smile and say that it isn't true. There's nothing wrong with the situation. I know a couple who waited a year, and they are still together. I know a couple who waited two months, and it totally ruined it. It all depends on you. Don't feel bad about it.

    Also, I had a boyfriend for six months when I was fifteen who was so sweet about sex, and I almost gave it up. I knew that he wanted it so bad, and I felt obligated to let him have it. Seriously, I was soooo close, but I didnt. I really did love him, ALOT but there were issues, and we are over with now. I am really glad that I didn't give it to him. You never know. It could end up being the same way for you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    That's ridiculous. I'm 15 and I've been dating the same guy for 1 year and 7 months and we haven't had sex before. But you shouldn't break up with someone just because you think people might pressure you to. You just need to ignore it. No one should be having sex when they are 15 and if he really likes you he will wait as long as it takes until you are ready. The people who have sex after 2 months are more than likely going to break up very quickly.

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  • 1 decade ago

    My advice is to wait until you are married--coming from someone who did not and wishes she had.

    Do not make any decisions based on what someone else will think. Right now high school and all the things that encompass it seem so important to you because really school is all you have at this point, but once you are an adult you will not want to look back on your first time as awkward because you were not ready and comfortable, feel like you were too young or wishing you had waited for you husband--someone you love, and being only because you felt like it was just the thing to do at the time and were afraid everyone would think you were "lame." It seems important only now, babe, but in the end this is only a very small fraction of your life. Please don't make a decision because of others. The only thing that will come from it is regret, possible STD, and possible pregnancy. You are worth waiting on. If he is truly worth it, you could never make him wait too long.

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  • 1 decade ago

    don't do it! If any of your friends are telling you that you should it's only cause they already lost their virginity and want someone else to feel as miserable as they are about losing it. Once you lose it you can never get it back! I'm gonna tell you right now the guy your with is not going to be the guy your gonna marry. Trust me! I'm 23 and know what its like to be in high school. And if you've been only going out with a guy for 2 and half weeks and have sex, he'll think your easy and he WILL dump you.

    In my opinion having a B/F is such a waste of time in high school. you should be having fun not going through all the dating drama, its your last chance of enjoying your childhood. Im so glad i didnt date anybody. High school was the best time of my life! And when i turned 19 i met the man of my dreams and we waited 6 months before we had sex and now i am engaged to the only man i have ever been with.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I lost my virginity when I was 16. I was not a **** at all, but I did have sex with a few boyfriends, and now I am 19 and I have an 8 month old. He is the most wonderful and beautiful thing in the world, but I should be in college right now, getting an education, having fun, and discovering myself.

    On top of the fact that you don't want to (always listen to your gut!!), you are so young! You shouldn't be worried about having sex or not. If your friends or your boyfriend start pressuring you, they are obviously not interested in your feelings or your well being.

    Don't even worry about boys! Have fun and focus on school or sports or other productive things!

    Source(s): personal experience
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    OKAY, BACK UP. FIRST OF ALL:

    Just because two months into a relationship is the highschool standard for having sex, doesn't mean you have to follow the rule. You're ready when you are ready, and trust me, you will know.

    Second of all: if you do start getting pressured, pay no mind to it. They shouldn't be in your business, and it's a very serious matter. Don't lose your virginity until you're sure you're ready, or you may regret it.

    You will know that you're prepared when the time comes, so relax and don't let the talk get to you. Good luck. (:

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It seems that he wants to be in bed with you than a relationship. I think 2 1/2 is to soon. Don't do what you don't feel comfortable with. You'll remember your first time for the rest of your life. Also, don't be pressured into having sex by your friends, it's your decision and their isn't a time period saying you have to have sex. I'm still a virgin and I'm 18. I'm waitinig for a man that loves me for who I am and not what I can do in the bed. Hope you make the right choice and could help with your desicion. If you do decide remember to wear projection no matter what.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I dated a guy in high school for 8 months and never had sex with him. I waited until I was 18, and wouldn't change it for a thing.

    If you're not ready, you already know you shouldn't do it. Don't let others get to you, and don't break up with someone that is supportive of you, and cares for you so much. He is someone that you should really listen to, and not care what any one else says. Your relationship is yours. Keep it that way.

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  • Nancy
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    You don't have to have sex when you're dating in high school. Not everyone has sex. I didn't.

    If you really like him, date him and ignore the pressure from others. It's none of their business what two people do anyway.

    The other kids in your high school are perverted. There is more to a relationship than just sex. Don't listen to them.. They are immature. Most have them haven't had sex.

    You two will have sex when you're ready. No pressures. If he really cares for you, he won't pressure you either.

    Source(s): Been there.
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