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Should I tell Child and Family services or leave it?

There is this girl I used to go to school with (she graduated at age 21) and she has a child 3 years old. The problem is that she's always going out to party, having parties at her home, doesn't care much for her child (relying on others help). I also see that their apartment isn't very child safe (beers cans around the house, doesn't put her in her car seat etc.) I'm worried about her child. Should I tell Child and Family services or not?

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Steer clear. Unless there is "proven" mental, physical or sexual abuse CPS will not get involved. If you do call them and they investigate and she finds out or figures out it was you who called and nothing is done she can actually "sue" you for false statements. Truthfully it isn't worth it. If she is mistreating the child it will be caught. You truthfully didn't mention one thing...aside from the carseat that would get her into "trouble" with CPS. It isn't a fair system, and I'm not saying she is right, but trust me, you don't want the trouble.

    Peace, Love & Happiness

  • delia
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I would call if i were you. YOU need to tell them about the car seat, party's, house is not clean, and that child is being neglected. If you don't try to look out for this child who IS? Tell them everything that you know. I have called CPS on two different people. Someone told me that this was going on in an apt. and i called to report it. One the parents were asleep after a night of drugs and drink. The baby would be walking around drinking out of empty beer cans and trying to get drugs off of the table. The little girl was taken away from them and given to family members. The second, I called on my daughters friend. The friend told me that she was in denial that she was pregnant and continued to do drugs. I called CPS, they tested her and when the baby was born he was taken away from her. The courts ordered her to take all these classes. She never did and her child was put up for adoption.

    I would not stand by and watch a child suffer. Once you call it is out of your hands. And don't tell anyone, less it get back to you in violence.

    Good Luck...

    EDIT:::

    People find to so convenient to put blame on everybody else except them self's. Just remember that, should the courts take the children away from her. The courts and cps will work with the mother/father in order to return the children back with the parents. Should for some reason that, the parent or parents do not get the child/children back is because they did not comply with the court orders. It is a list of counseling, drugs, anger management, parental classes, psychological counseling,etc.

    If you feel that this child is in danger or being neglected, call. You could be saving a child's life.

    Your not ruining any ones life. Your saving a life.

    Should nothing be wrong, then no harm done.

    BLESSINGS TO YOU !!!

  • DaBrat
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    It doesn't do any good because child and family services will call her and tell her there was a complaint and they are coming out to have a look. So she will clean up and all will look good and they will leave her alone. It actually takes an act of God to get them to do anything. As long as the child is not being physically abused than I would stay out of it. Hopefully she will grow out of this stage in her life and things will get better.

  • 5 years ago

    Just from a different perspective - everyone slates social services for following up referrals which they have obviously received from some source (probably the disgruntled health visitor lol) but at the end of the day - they are damned if they do and damned if they dont - just look at the Victoria Climbie incident! Seriously people - have a thought for the social workers who are just doing their job - if they DIDN'T check everything out and something went wrong then everyone slates them....If they DO check every referral out, people moan. yes there are flaws in Social Services as with ANY government agency (CSA,DWP,Inland Revenue......!)BUT.....if it means you get one visit to ensure that everything is fine, whats the harm!? yes it stressful and can make u feel bad but all they have is a referral with a name etc - until they KNOW that everything is fine, should they just ignore it??? I am not saying that they aren't pests sometimes, But better safe than sorry surely? For every referral that turns out to be nothing, there is one which is serious! With regards to what to do - just arrange a meeting with social services, explain your situation - tell them about EVERYTHING (complaint letter, change of HV etc) They will probably have no issue so long as u are having regular visits with GP or HV - if you feel that one particular Social worker is "against" you, ask to SEE their Manager (and if no joy there...keep going higher up in the establisment!) The more you show u have nothing to hide, the happier they will be (and quicker they will disappear!) Chin Up!

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  • Micky
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Next time she has a party in her home, call the cops & make a noise complaint (you can do this w/out giving your name). The cops w/follow up & if there is an issue w/a child they will take care of it. Worth a try.I worry about what could happen w/a young child & a bunch of drunks around. Abuse etc. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    YES!!! You should tell CPS, because if you don't who will?? You can always report a case to CPS and tell them you want to deliver this information anonymously!! By law, they have keep your name private. Even if the case ends up going to court, they can use your statements but they can not disclose you name to the other party. But that is only if things get that bad. No child deserves to live like that, and besides, what kind of friend would you be if you didn't report this? A good friend will do the hard things that no one else wats to do!

  • 1 decade ago

    Are you with her 24 hours a day 7 days a week?

    Too many people meddle and ruin families by poking their noses in where they don't belong.

    Foster homes are a whole lot worse for children than their own homes unless the parents are letting them do things juggle knives and drink poison. More abuse and neglect happens in the foster care system than people have a clue about yet judgmental folks turn others in all the time for petty crap. It's insane and getting out of hand. Only do it if you want to ruin a family, hurt the child worse and send the mother into a downward spiral of the likes YOU could never imagine. It's her child. She should be allowed to raise that child however she sees fit. That's the problem today...too many people are stepping in and making innocent parents lose rights because of knee-jerk reactions for minor offenses.

    I haven't seen my own children for over a year and a half because of some A-hole like you. I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! My idiot ex decided to lie to a therapist and since no one even talked to me, the court took the therapist and my ex's story as the truth and BAM! My rights were totally taken away because my ex's new wife wanted me out of the picture and they TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE SYSTEM! That system is abused and it makes me sick because it has affected me and my children on a personal level. I did nothing....and now my children and myself will have to endure years of legal fees that are breaking my family and there was no other reason other than someone taking advantage of a system that has been fed by people turning others in over things that aren't any of their business.

    MYOB.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you feel it is in the best interest of the child then yes by all means BUT if it is because you don't like the girl or something then no but if you honestly feel the child could be in danger then yes i would without a doubt.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes!

  • 1 decade ago

    I would call them maybe it would straighten her up and maybe it wont do any good

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