The Ballad of Karla Homolka (by me) Your thoughts?

It's for English class. I know some rhymes and stanzas are weak, but I tried my best. x) Again, no one is answering in the Poetry section, so I figured I'd post it here and ask for opinions. I'm open to any constructive criticism.

Barely twenty yet her actions were gruesome

She committed crimes but kept them a secret

Yet Bernardo he knew for they were a twosome

But neither would tell, they weren’t ready to forfeit

She committed crimes but kept them a secret

And if anyone found out during those very days

Nobody at all would have agreed to keep it

Instead they’d be glad to have her sent away

And if anyone found out during those very days

One might have asked why it was so

That she placed Tammy in Bernardo’s gaze

One might have thought that her sister was her foe

One might have asked why it was so

That Tammy had been drinking

But that only two did know

And the one who had stopped blinking

That Tammy had been drinking

No one questioned for a mo’

But that was just the beginning,

‘Cause they moved on to Jane Doe

No one questioned for a mo’

That what Karla had was a wedding gift

Not even Homolka or Jane Doe

Not until after she’d given her a lift

That what Karla had was a wedding gift

For a wedding of two more years

It would be a romance gone adrift

When she would show up, covered in tears

For a wedding of two more years

They decided to move right along

Came Leslie Mahaffy, who was not forced beers

But stayed for a time that was already prolong

They decided to move right along

Though they’d killed Mahaffy many months ago

With Kristen French things began to go wrong

When they learned that she was not their gift to bestow

Though they’d killed Mahaffy many months ago

People had noticed that French was gone

Her body was found before the fall of snow

And the days of pleasure were soon bygone

People had noticed that French was gone

Two fingers pointed, so the possibility was weighed

They knew little of what he had done

But suspicions arose and soon suspects were made

Suspicions arose and suspects were made

When ’93 came he’d already beaten her

It was past the new year, their marriage would fade

Everything went downhill, went past in a blur

When ‘93 came he’d already beaten her

And along with the beatings came out the truth

For anyone to find out, he did not prefer

But she told the police, starting with their youth

And along with the beatings came out the truth

Karla went to prison and he did, too

Though her sentence was shorter, she felt more ruth

Yet he’d be there for life, while the police would subdue

Karla went to prison and he did, too

She’d taken young lives, but soon created her own

Gave birth to a boy without further ado

Yet he, Bernardo, remained behind the stone

2 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sweet!

    Sick ballad. Really good :)

    As for those Poetry regulars - shame! They never answer my questions either :(

    Keep it up. If I liked it, your English teacher will like it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Karla is out now and hiding her head

    most people think she'd be better off dead

    some folks who kill simply must kill again

    I bet Karla will wind up back in the pen.

    I had to contribute...she should never have been released from prison. She killed her SISTER for gosh sakes...she is mentally twisted.

    Some of the rhymes could be better and if you have time, put it away for a couple days don't even look at it. Then go back and you will see all sorts of stuff you can tighten up. This is a tremendous piece of work and ytou did a really good job on it. The repetition is a very nice creative gimmick.

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