does this [japanese phrases] make any sense the way they are written?

last time this didn't work well when i asked, so i wrote what i think the english meanings are next to them. please tell me any corrections i can make or anything i should add [and english] to make it correct. also, please show me how to write everything in japanese characters!!

Ah, here’s forward, right?

a, kocchi ga mae ne?

All secrets

subete no himitsu

But that only makes my heart throb

tada sore dake de mune ga tokimeku

Dream’s kiss

yume no kisu

For a long time I’m not waking from a dream

yume nara samenai de zutto

Having my dreams come true

yume mita koto ga hontou ni natta no

I began to shine

kagayaki dashita

I can be more great than I think

omotte tayori mo sugoi koto

I can be my real self

jibun rashiku rareru

I can fly

toberu

I get it!

ryoukai!

I’ll hold you close to my chest

kono mune ni dakishime

I’ll surely find you

anata wo kitto mitsukete miseru

I steer with my fins

hire de kajitori

I want to tell them

uchiaketai no yo

I’m reborn

umarekawatte

If you dance together with me

anata to futari de odoreba

In the water I’m very free

mizu no naka wa totemo jiyuu

Is told from a

tsutaeru no yo

It gives a sign of happiness

kureru shiawase no shirushi

It is my world

atashi no sekai

It’s no big deal that my hair is all messed up

donna ni kami ga midarite mo

It’s such a lovely thing

motto suteki na koto na no yo

It seems like everything’s shining

subete ga kagayaite mieru

Just like I walk on the beach

hamabe wo aruku mitai ni

Let’s dance

odorou

Lips are for this

kuchibiru wa sono tame ni

Love grew

ai ga mebaeta

Meeting your gaze

mitsume au

Mermaid I can be

ningyo ni nareru nante

Mom’s sure to understand

mama ni mo kitto wakaru hazu

My Melody

watashi no Merodi

Nothing there blocking my path

jama na mono hitotsu mo nai

Now you’re somewhere

ima anata wa doko ni

Ok, this way, right?

ooke, kou ne?

Only the sea

umi koso

Only the sea is my world

umi koso atashi no sekai yo

Really

sou yo

Right or left, I don’t understand

migi mo hidari mo wakaranai

Someday from a prince

itsuka oujisama ga

Swimming around easily

suisui oyogi mawaru

They’re very important things

totemo daiji na mono

This is me

kore ga atashi

This meeting was fate

kore wa unmei no deai

Thus true love

sou shinjitsu no ai wo

Together in the sea we’ll sing

futari de umi wo utau

True love’s kiss

shinjitsu no ai no kisu

Truly I am

hontou no atashi ga

Truly the best

hontou ni saikou

Turning round and round and not going anywhere

guruguru mawatte susumenai

Usually in the sea

umi dewa itsumo

We fell in love

koi ni ochi

What a beautiful person

nante utsukushii hito

What to do when we meet?

omoi tsutaeru ni wa, nani wo suru?

When our eyes met

me to me ga atta toki

You’ll forget everything

wasurete shimau nanimokamo

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    You choppped up the whole song into disjointed bits and phrases. Word for word it's correct but when you take into context, your translation is slightly screwed up in places.

    For a long time I’m not waking from a dream

    yume nara samenai de zutto

    If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up.

    ホントに最高 人魚になれるなんて

    思ってたよりもすごいこと

    To be become a merman is really great. Even better than I imagined.

    全ての秘密 打ち明けたいのよ

    今あなたはどこに 私のメロディー

    I want to discover all the secrets

    Where are you, my melody?

    There are a few other minor irregularities, but these are the more problematic ones. I include a link to the japanese version.

  • 1 decade ago

    What you ask is more involved than writing a research paper for a crappy liberal arts school. What's the name of the song? That's a much better place to start.

  • 3 years ago

    thank you for "peta" replying my peta. the indications have been worse than I envisioned so i will terrific use one eye, and it extremely is instead painful. BTW approximately "Zensan", he isn't a close by ***. although he writes effective ***, I noted some typographical blunders and omissions in his Ameba *** information superhighway e-e book.

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