does this [japanese phrases] make any sense the way they are written?

Question

last time this didn't work well when i asked, so i wrote what i think the english meanings are next to them. please tell me any corrections i can make or anything i should add [and english] to make it correct. also, please show me how to write everything in japanese characters!!

Ah, here’s forward, right?
a, kocchi ga mae ne?
All secrets		
subete no himitsu
But that only makes my heart throb	
tada sore dake de mune ga tokimeku
Dream’s kiss		
yume no kisu
For a long time I’m not waking from a dream	
yume nara samenai de zutto
Having my dreams come true	
yume mita koto ga hontou ni natta no
I began to shine		
kagayaki dashita
I can be more great than I think	
omotte tayori mo sugoi koto
I can be my real self		
jibun rashiku rareru
I can fly			
toberu
I get it!			
ryoukai!
I’ll hold you close to my chest	
kono mune ni dakishime
I’ll surely find you		
anata wo kitto mitsukete miseru
I steer with my fins		
hire de kajitori
I want to tell them		
uchiaketai no yo
I’m reborn			
umarekawatte
If you dance together with me	
anata to futari de odoreba
In the water I’m very free
mizu no naka wa totemo jiyuu
Is told from a	
tsutaeru no yo
It gives a sign of happiness
kureru shiawase no shirushi
It is my world		
atashi no sekai
It’s no big deal that my hair is all messed up	
donna ni kami ga midarite mo
It’s such a lovely thing	
motto suteki na koto na no yo
It seems like everything’s shining	
subete ga kagayaite mieru
Just like I walk on the beach	
hamabe wo aruku mitai ni
Let’s dance		
odorou
Lips are for this		
kuchibiru wa sono tame ni
Love grew			
ai ga mebaeta
Meeting your gaze		
mitsume au
Mermaid I can be		
ningyo ni nareru nante
Mom’s sure to understand	
mama ni mo kitto wakaru hazu
My Melody		
watashi no Merodi
Nothing there blocking my path	
jama na mono hitotsu mo nai
Now you’re somewhere	
ima anata wa doko ni
Ok, this way, right?		
ooke, kou ne?
Only the sea		
umi koso
Only the sea is my world	
umi koso atashi no sekai yo
Really			
sou yo
Right or left, I don’t understand	
migi mo hidari mo wakaranai
Someday from a prince	
itsuka oujisama ga
Swimming around easily	
suisui oyogi mawaru
They’re very important things	
totemo daiji na mono
This is me			
kore ga atashi
This meeting was fate		
kore wa unmei no deai
Thus true love		
sou shinjitsu no ai wo
Together in the sea we’ll sing	
futari de umi wo utau
True love’s kiss		
shinjitsu no ai no kisu
Truly I am			
hontou no atashi ga
Truly the best		
hontou ni saikou
Turning round and round and not going anywhere	
guruguru mawatte susumenai
Usually in the sea		
umi dewa itsumo
We fell in love		
koi ni ochi
What a beautiful person	
nante utsukushii hito
What to do when we meet?	
omoi tsutaeru ni wa, nani wo suru?
When our eyes met		
me to me ga atta toki
You’ll forget everything	
wasurete shimau nanimokamo

fba90130 · Accepted Answer

You choppped up the whole song into disjointed bits and phrases. Word for word it's correct but when you take into context, your translation is slightly screwed up in places.

For a long time I’m not waking from a dream 
yume nara samenai de zutto

If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up.

ホントに最高　人魚になれるなんて
思ってたよりもすごいこと

To be become a merman is really great. Even better than I imagined.

全ての秘密　打ち明けたいのよ
今あなたはどこに　私のメロディー
I want to discover all the secrets
Where are you, my melody?

There are a few other minor irregularities, but these are the more problematic ones. I include a link to the japanese version.

orangered · Answer

What you ask is more involved than writing a research paper for a crappy liberal arts school.  What's the name of the song?  That's a much better place to start.

jaquith · Answer

thank you for "peta" replying my peta. the indications have been worse than I envisioned so i will terrific use one eye, and it extremely is instead painful. BTW approximately "Zensan", he isn't a close by ***. although he writes effective ***, I noted some typographical blunders and omissions in his Ameba *** information superhighway e-e book.

does this [japanese phrases] make any sense the way they are written?

3 Answers