k, I do not know what else to do...?

I am burned out, almost entirely. This may be a long question...

My 22 month old son has Autism. My 10 month old son is still nursing, and has some anxiety issues that we've noticed. He's gotten much better since he has slept with me (co-slept) and has developed a better sense of security than he had when he was a few months old.

I don't want to stop co-sleeping, but between running after my 22 month old who is CONSTANTLY DOING DANGEROUS THINGS without knowing it, he can't comprehend/understand injury or danger has a great liking for running away and does not respond to his name when he is on a "mission" (like running away in a strange place,) But I NEED SLEEEEEP. My 10 month old will not sleep in a play pen, and it's too dangerous to leave him on the bed alone.

Any suggestions? I need help!

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    What we do may help ... we have her crib against the wall with the side rail taken completely off. In front of it is our bed ... so her crib is length wise across the top of our heads ... got me? she's still small enough that she sleeps in her crib sideways ... we share a pillow ... during the day I just slip in between the two mattress' a bed rail ... but she can't even stand up on her own yet ... you may have to come up with something I haven't had to think of yet but I encourage you to try incorporating his crib into your co-sleeping. That way he can have his own space and a nap during the day without you having to run in there every 20 seconds ~ been there:) Up until a few weeks ago we had her crib beside our bed ... on my side ... changing it to this way was hubby's idea ... it's working too. Technically any form of room sharing is "co-sleeping", the benefits are the same ... you just have more room and a better sleep ... especially at his age lord he must roll on top of you LOL I wish you luck girl and if my description didn't make sense I can email you a pic.

    edit** or check out Abby can stand alones pics ... that's what we did at first, now her crib at the head of the bed ... we have a double.. fits perfect!

  • 1 decade ago

    Any 22 month old does not comprehend danger or possible injury and is unlikely to respond to just having a name called. That's developmentally normal.

    I know what it's like having a high needs/special needs child. You could wear your 22 month old on your back in a mei tai so he just doesn't have the chance to run. Or use a wrist leash. Wear your 10 month old on your front or back instead of in a stroller--this will help with his anxiety and leave your hands free for your other one. And make sure to limit dangerous opportunities. This means keeping your house incredibly dull, I know! There shouldn't be ONE thing in your house that could pose a danger. I've been there--I'm still there :(

    Exhaustion is cummulative. I know people will sometimes offer to look after a child for an afternoon so you can nap, but that doesn't solve the problem or make you feel much better. You need permanent solutions---like co-sleeping and learning to nurse in your sleep. Really, co-sleeping should give you better sleep.

    Your 10 month old can also sleep in a sling. In a tummy to tummy position (esp. in a wrap), you can recline in an easy chair and sleep too....you say you need sleep but can't leave your baby alone, that's obvious....I don't see how you can sleep if your baby is awake? Or your toddler?

    A few other suggestions....pay careful attention to your son's diet. Many children are helped greatly by a gluten free, casein free diet. As well, corn products often make children impulsive (and HFCS and CS are in SO MANY products). I'd highly recommend giving B12 and Omega 3 supplements to both your children (they come in chewable forms), and never give Tylenol.

    It's really hard having special needs kids. Make sure you're in a support group--it doesn't have to be an autism group specifically, but you should be receiving support through your local family services/children's aid society and they can hook you up with whatever you need.

    Good luck. Reach out to ANYONE who offers help!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ok Hun I feel some of your sleep needs, my 9mo refuses to sleep at night almost entirely and he co sleeps. During the day because I have two older children I can't put Sam in our bed either or he will fall off (he has already done so) I have had to put him in his cot for the day time and in our bed at night when we retire. You could put a mattress on the floor and lay down with him until he goes to sleep and at least if he rolls off during the day time he wont get hurt. You should ask for some respite care with your 22 month old, is there any body that could take him for a couple of hours once a week? My 2yo doesn't have autism, but he is a goer and grabs knives off the bench in the kitchen, we take them off him straight away and then he has scissors so we remove that and he has a safety cutting blade, out house is safe, he just can't be left alone or he does dangerous things too. My babby has to be swaddled to get him to sleep or he just crawls around his cot and stands up all the time, he hates to sleep. I found that swaddling him with one arm out means I have more control about getting him to go to sleep. You need to sit down with Papabear and tell him that you need help, you need to tell your parents, your inlaws tell everyone that you can't cope. Better you ask for help than something drastic happening to your kids or yourself due to sleep deprivation. You are not weak if you get help, getting help makes you a lot stronger than you realise.

    Source(s): I got help and I'm better for it. Mum of a 5yo, 2yo and 9mo.
  • 1 decade ago

    Could you side car your crib?

    http://www.freewebs.com/sidecarcrib/

    http://purplekangaroopuzzle.blogspot.com/2005/07/s...

    If not, could you move the babies crib into your room and put it right next to your bed?

    Is Aidyn waking in the night to nurse, or is having him in the bed making it difficult for you to sleep?

    I hope you can get some sleep. I think a lot of us are going through this. Abby is cutting 2 teeth and has a stomach virus...so between puking and sore mouth, we are not getting much sleep. I found that if I feed her right before bed really well, and give her a warm bath and a massage, the night goes better.

    What about getting some sort of gate to give your 22mo a safe place to play where you could look away and not fear he would get hurt. You could also wear him in an Ergo like carrier. What about putting him in a high chair to color or play with toys while you tend to your younger one. I am throwing out ideas...I know easier said then done.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Do you have a family member or close friend who can mind your children for a day while you catch up on rest? What about your partner can he help?

    Only thing i can think is try and wear your little ones out during the day and they might have a bigger sleep at night for you.

    Best of luck hope you get some sleep soon.

  • Ethel
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Put the mattress you share on the floor and talk to your pediatrician to see about getting help - there should be early intervention in your area for your oldest that can help you if not a relief nursery. Explain how it's putting your other son, and him, in danger (having to choose between them) and you are having a hard time caring for both fully the way they really need since you are pulled apart by their needs. No, no joke, there are daycare centers that specialize in emotionally disturbed children - this would be a place for him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like you would qualify for some respite care in Australia but I'm not sure where you are. Call a family support agency (or if you can't find one call a 'help line' - you could google to find one of those numbers) in your area and link with someone like a family support worker who can help you access all the services you are entiled to.

    Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    You should consider getting a close friend or close family member to watch them like, every Wednesday or something so you can catch up on sleep.(:

  • 1 decade ago

    Do you have any family or close friends nearby? If so, sounds like someone needs a babysitter so she can take a nap!

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to marry a woman who can help you.

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