"I want to be unique, myself, but I want to fit in and have what she has."?

Please take no offense, but I am so completely utterly confused these days. The reason I am so confused, is because its like they are yelling at you, saying they want to be unique and there own person, however they are also fighting to be in the 'in' club and wear what they are all wearing. It's like a contradiction. They want to stand out on their own, but they want to look like everyone else.

I am so confused. Help me understand, or give some kind of explanation why its like this.


Curly Sue: Does it matter? People in general. I commonly see this in kids, teenagers and young adults.

10 Answers

  • Favorite Answer

    I'm in this predicament. I try so desperately to fit in, because I'm a social outcast. I also don't want to lose who I am, which is a low-key, doesn't-talk-much, teen boy who wears sweatpants and baggy t-shirts with funny designs on them, and hats to school. Most of the boys in my school are jocks -- I hate most sports, and the only sport I like, my school doesn't offer --, they wear jeans and polos and dress preppy -- I hate preppy clothes -- and they are loud and obnoxious -- I'm quiet, conserved, and mindful of other peoples' problems. However, I want to fit in to my school. When you're going to a school where everyday is a challenge socially, it's tiring and frustrating. I'm having a bit of an identity crisis, because I feel pressured into conforming in order to be known by my peers. However, wearing jeans and polos and other preppy-like clothes isn't "me". "Me" is wearing sweatpants, too-big t-shirts with funky designs, hats, sweatshirts...so...I feel pressured into conforming, just to gain friends, as I barely have any, and my one close friend is going into college in September. High school is like survival of the fittest. I just don't want to lose myself in that battle for survival, so to speak.

    I suppose people want to be themselves, but they want to be known by their peers. They want to be respected, and I guess some people feel pressured into conforming to the societal norm in order to be respected. I've noticed that people who are "different" are ridiculed the most in high school, while the "normal" people are welcomed in. I guess some teenagers want to fit in, but don't want to lose themselves in the process...I guess...

    I hope this makes sense...feel free to e-mail me if it does not.

  • 1 decade ago

    I agree. People always say they have their own style, yet conform desperately to society.

    I go by this thought.

    I am one of six billion, and the six billion is one. We are all different, and that means we are the same. Everyone on this earth has cried, has had problems, and is just trying to find away.

    Just ignore what everyone is doing. Doing what you feel is right for you. If you want to dress in a certain way, just do it, whether people do it or not.

    Its not about conformity, or hypocritcal-ness, its down to people doing what they want because they want to.

    Don't forget it is sometimes a good idea to conform, though.

  • 1 decade ago

    I know.. When we was little, it was just us. No one was doing this stuff, but I did live in a small town, too..

    I never understood this so I can not answer your question. lol. I just see people like preps, emos, and they all act like they want to be their own person and they try to copy everyone in their group. I know that is how it goes with style. People wants to wear the "in" stuff.. and not be bell bottoms now. But alot of peoples attitudes changes and they became fake. I don't get it either!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Makes me think of 6th grade.

    Entering middle school with that little 11 year old mind that screams "I wanna be popular! I wanna Fit in! I wanna be Cool!" yet at the same time "I want to be unique!"

    They need to pick one or the other.

    And I can say that because, yes, I was one when I first entered 6th grade.

    Looking back I'm thinkin "What the H*ll was wrong with me?!?!"

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  • 1 decade ago

    MY friend. It's a do as i say and not a do as i do society today.

    They want their cake and eat it too.

    All talk and somebody else's action is the key to this.

    You have every right to be confused as they present you desert as the main meal and expect you to stay healthy.

    I say be yourself and whomever has a problem with that has a problem with themselves. AS long as you can live with your conscience then you'll be alright

  • 1 decade ago

    People only want to be unique till someone notices them and then they fit in with the group so they dont end up friendless.

  • .
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    It's simple:

    People want the best of both worlds. They want to be able to be unique but they're not brave enough to stand out and risk being picked on. They'd rather be in the "in" crowd so that they're liked.

  • 1 decade ago

    you want to be yourself and differnet but you still want to be liked and have lots of friends and be happy this is all part of being a teenager

  • 1 decade ago

    Who is "they"?

    Additional post: I didn't necessarily mean to be rude. I was just uncertain of whom you were speaking. If it were your children, I wouldn't have answered because I don't want to offend anyone with my whacked out thoughts. If you were speaking of people in general, as you were, I would have commented. Sorry if I upset you with my question. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Yep, you should be, it makes no sense at all

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