Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

What to do if your bf doesn't want you on his myspace?

Here's the deal:

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now and it's a long distance relationship. I met him online over a year ago. (Please don't nag on this fact, this isn't the issue)

When I met him, he told me he didn't have a myspace and so I created one for him and we added each other on that. Then I found out that he did indeed have a myspace before the one I made and I confronted him about it and he told me he hadn't wanted me to find out about it, which is a little strange if you ask me, but I didn't bother too much with it, as it was set to public and I was able to view everything on it anyway. Sure, there were comments from some of his girl friends, but nothing too serious.

He stopped using the other myspace that I made for him after a while, and deleted it too, but he did tell me first, so I was okay with it.

Mind you, this was all over 6 months or so ago.

A couple nights ago, I asked if I could add him on his real myspace but he said no. He mentioned something about being unconfortable having 0 privacy. I felt this kind of weird, and answered with a "mmk." And he felt I was upset, and got kind of upset in return, assuming that now I'd think he was hiding stuff and then went on to say that he didn't care anymore and to just add him. But I knew he didn't really want that so I told him I wouldn't. Our conversation kind of ended for a while after that, and then when he did speak, he completely changed the subject and we haven't talked about it since.

I know I said I wouldn't add him, and I won't because it's obvious he doesn't want me to but I still find it kind of strange.

Am I over-reacting?

Is it normal for him not to want me on his myspace?

I know he isn't hiding anything because his myspace isn't private and I've seen it... Still seems strange to me though.

What should I do?

Thank you!

Update:

Added Facts: When I first found out about his myspace, I noticed a message from a girl on one of his pictures that said she loved him. It dated from before we had met but I still asked about it when I confronted him and he said she was his ex. I didn't see anything else from her on there, though so I dropped it.

I can see his comments and his pictures/picture comments. But his profile only has his "about me" on it other than that. But my myspace doesn't have anything else on it either, so I don't understand why he doesn't want me to add him, if I can see everything that's there anyway.

Except maybe for pictures that are set to friends only? Could he really have pictures that are that bad that he doesn't want me to see?

Or is he just afraid that I would comment on his profile and people would find out I'm going out with him?

He has serious issues about cheating, which leads me to believe he wouldn't but I suppose I could be wrong.

Should I just drop it?

15 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If he doesn't have anything to hide he wouldn't hide anything.

    My fiance and I have each others passwords. And have had them since a year of dating. We really don't login to each others much but it is something to show that we aren't hiding a thing.

    Im not saying you have to do that...but it is something to prove trust.

    Its strange that he doesn't want to show you off. My fiance had me as his number one like a week after we started dating.

    Talk to him and tell him it really makes you feel strange. If he brushes it off then tell him its not right and he needs to listen to you!

    EDIT: If it really bothers you its best not to drop it because it will always eat at your mind. its best to talk through it with your bf.

    Source(s): Btw: I met my fiance online too. : ) And it worked well for us..long distance is hard though but the visits make it worth it!
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  • 1 decade ago

    A friend of mine was in a similar problem with her boyfriend. Even the long distance relationship part. Only it was Facebook, not Myspace.

    Anyway, turns out that he had another girlfriend, and the other girlfriend is the one with the facebook add, but not her. She eventually found this out when she had a friend add him on facebook, and saw his status and comments back and forth to the other woman.

    Now, you said his is public, so you can see that he isn't hiding something.

    I sorta think it's silly that he doesn't want to add you, yet has his profile set as public.

    I wouldn't complain about it. You can still look at the profile, just not post on it, correct?

    I do thinks it's a bit weird. But I'd let it go.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm willing to bet money on this, he has another girlfriend and he doesn't want the girl to find out about you. He's probably said the same thing to his other girlfriend. That's the problem with long distance/online relationships, it's very easy to cheat and get away with it. Have you ever even met him or has your entire relationship been online? I really think he's cheating on you. Perhaps it's time to end things with him. If he were really 100% into you then he wouldn't care if you were his "friend" on myspace. He is obviously hiding something. Just because it isn't set as private doesn't mean he isn't hiding something.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Where I don't really think Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, etc should be relationship evaluation tools, that is still a weird reaction from him. Perhaps he has pictures that are set only for his friends to see and he doesn't want you to see those?

    If everything else is going well in the relationship, I wouldn't worry about Myspace drama. Don't let something like that start causing you to doubt what you feel.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Want some fun psychology?

    He doesn't trust you because you can't trust him!

    He probably has a lot of random pretty girls on him myspace, and he probably also messages many of them.

    Think about it. You didn't say anything to warrent him getting upset at you (come on, getting mad at you because he thought u were mad at him??? please realize that for the bull that it is) so why did he feel the need to get upset? Clearly, there's something there to be upset about. And you didn't say anything about not trusting him, or of suspecting him about anything- so why did he bring that up? Take a guess on that one.

    Just because his profile is public doesn't mean you can see everything.

    You met him online- what are the chances he won't meet someone else?

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  • xK
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Does he talk about you at all on his Myspace? Does he list himself as being in a relationship? Typically, a guy who doesn't want to associate you with his online profile means he's ashamed of you or doesn't want anyone knowing he has a girlfriend.

    I think it's strange too, and I would be concerned only to the extent I mentioned above (obviously he's not using it to hit on women, since it's public). But maybe he doesn't want people knowing he's dating someone long-distance for fear of them making fun of him or something.

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  • 1 decade ago

    He's DEFINITELY hiding something but he's being very slick with it. He sounds like he's using Myspace to hook up with other girls. You should probably check back with some of the girls that you see often leave comments on his page. But be sneaky about it. Don't let them know you're his GF.

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  • 3 years ago

    do no longer harm up with him over Myspace, textual content textile, Im or maybe telephone call That shows your immature. in simple terms confer with him and tell him quickly out. Its plenty greater effective than getting the information in a message

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  • 1 decade ago

    He doesn't trust you.

    If He he has nothing to hide he wouldn't be asking for privacy there is something on his myspace page he doesn't want you to see.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you're not over reacting. i would be hurt if my bf did the said the same thing. i think his excuse is really silly. i mean, it's not like he has to advertise on myspace that you are his girlfriend.

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