If you were in a long term relationship (years) that ended horribly, would you ever talk badly about your ex..?

You loved this person at one point. Wanted to build a life with them, but for some reason things fell apart and the two of you no longer feel the same way. Is it ever right or justified for you to maliciously try to ruin their name?

Inspired by: Joe Budden vs.Tahiry (for those of you keeping up). Here's his latest rant


Be warned, it's SUPER long.

19 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't think it's ever justified. First of all, no one likes to hear people complain about others--it's a well known fact that not everyone gets along, there's no need to broadcast it to the world. (Notice how it was labeled a rant? Not exactly the best label for you spilling your heart out...)

    Second, if you just got out of the relationship, imagine how angry/hurt/confused/emotional you are. Do you think that this represents you in your best decision-making state? I don't. Normally, most people make the best decisions with a clear and calm disposition.

    Third, I know it doesn't seem like it, but there were good times (if there weren't then why did the relationship last so long?). At this point, you most likely aren't going to be thinking about the years of joy and hand-holding, but once things settle a little bit, then you will be able to recall the relationship without feeling as bitter. It just takes time.

    Fourth, if you are bad-mouthing someone you decided to "wanted to build a life with," then how do you think this will affect the way people value your opinion? I know you shouldn't care about what people think about you, but you should at least try not to let both your relationship AND your respectability go down the drain.

    Fifth, internet ranting will not help you move on. I know people crave this drama, but seriously, reality TV gets such a bad rep for a reason--do you really want that for yourself? You're just going to seem like yet another heartbroken internet user who has the additional stigma of being incapable of speaking about someone without using a curse word between every sentence.

  • 5 years ago

    Ending a long-term relationship is hard on both people involved. There are years of feelings invested, which makes it a difficult relationship to end. However, sometimes the situation calls for a clean break; so it's important to know how to end a long-term relationship amicably. Read on to learn more. Step1Explain the reason why you want to end your long-term relationship. It's unfair to leave him wondering where he went wrong. But keep from playing the blame game. Be civil, not bitter. Step2Listen to what your partner has to say. Even though you're ending the relationship, give her a chance to speak her mind. You may learn some important things about yourself that could help you in future relationships. Step3Discuss the possibility of staying friends. There's obviously a connection between the two of you since you've been in a long-term relationship. It would be a shame to let all those years go to waste, so stay friends if possible. This is especially important when there are children involved. Step4Stick to your decision to split up. Many couples go through a cycle in which one minute they're together and the next minute they're not. This is unhealthy for everyone involved; so it's best to stay apart once you've decided to split--unless there's a special circumstance.

  • Demi
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    TLDR - but I can honestly answer "No". My ex and I have a son together and it would be in exceptionally poor taste for me to talk bad about him despite all the crap he put me through. Well, that and it just makes you look petty and bitter. I'd rather be the better person.

    This is also why despite the concealed weapons permit, my very good aim and his constant violation of the restraining order I also have not shot him.


  • 1 decade ago

    To be honest, if something ends badly - like they cheated on you or something really wrong like that - it's only natural to not have too many kind words immediately after the breakup. Bashing to anyone but your friends and/or family beyond the first couple of months is not ok though. You have to just be happy that you're rid of the person, let it go and move on.

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  • 1 decade ago

    No it isn't. I would probably tell some friends about it and describe the situation in the most objective way possible, but as long as the other party isn't trying something funny, I would just get on with my life. No need for drama...

  • 1 decade ago

    Way to long if this didn't bother him he wouldn't go on an on about it. I think its unfair to air your personal business especially if you do have a problem with depression) Disrespectful anyways the way he regards women as bitches. Forget him an move on unless he caused some physically abuse and you want to sink to his level and air that or warn other women I would just move on.

  • 1 decade ago

    umm, i only liked one song joe budden had. so really has no fame to be blasting anybody in public.he should be focusing on his career and less on bashing people. Frankly i never heard of tahiry!

    and to answer your question no. my ex's still talk to me and say hi and anybody else i sleep with ever. people know, they made the choice to leave, not me, and they have no reason to be mad. so if they want to point fingers and call people names, they should point them at themselves. i try to refrain from saying terrible things about people. i don't let my human side get the best of me. and i feel no need for revenge.

    Source(s): life moves on
  • 1 decade ago

    Depends on why it ended badly. If it's because he was mentally abusive or something like that then yes, I'd talk crapp about him. I'm not the malicious type though.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    GiG why are you putting my personal life on blast? haha This sounds like my last relationship. But we don't talk badly about each other, she's a great person and we're dealing with the break up in our own way... and if she chooses to act like a childish brat then that's her prerogative. =X

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No, I dont do it now- and I could. (i wrote a memoir, but that is different, it's experience that I am re-hashing)- To me, it is the past and I like to keep it there. When I enter into something new- I dont care about the person before him. they dont matter- never existed- he is all that is in my view. I am sure he couldn't care less about him either.

    add: wow. I just watched a bit of that- this dude is bitter. lol.

    add: lol- notice how many td's I got? for what? because I wrote a memoir- you are some jealous h's- guess what? there is more to come- keep hating. =)

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