Am I a lesbian? I'm 16 years old and confused?

Hey, so I'm a 16 year old girl and I really just don't know. I don't care if I'm straight or gay, I just want to find out what the truth is!!!

Here are some things about me:

1. From about grade 1 to grade 9 I (thought I) had a crush on this boy. He's awesome. But maybe it's just an emotional crush and not sexual, so it has nothing to do with my sexuality??? Can a 6-year-old be sexually attracted to someone, anyways???

2. I've always been a tom-boy. Hated barbie's, loved GI Joe. Tonka trucks, power rangers, having all-male friends and no female friends.

3. I remember thinking when I was little that I wanted to be a boy. I don't remember why, was it because they didn't have periods and had more fun (they got to play with GI Joe while I was stuck with Barbie), or was it because they got to date girls??? (* please note that I know that lesbians don't want to be boys. I've just added this because it seems odd to me)

4. I've ALWAYS questioned my sexuality.

5. When my straight female friends talk about boys and their attractiveness, They always talk about how hot some guy is, and I just lie and agree with them. I usually never notice or care... except Leonardo DiCaprio, who is hot.

6. I don't know what "attraction" is. I don't even know if I'm attracted to DiCaprio. I think he's VERY good looking... ugh I'm so confused.

7. I always notice the attractiveness of girls. But is this because I want to BE them or DATE them??? (What is attraction!?!) I find myself looking at them in the halls.

8. I really can't imagine myself kissing a guy OR a girl... (I've always been single, for obvious reasons, lol)

Advice, anyone? And could you also tell me what attraction is, because I have no idea... :/


But how can anyone find a man's hairy back attractive!!! lol. Women have soft skin and put more effort into their looks. Isn't that what everyone wants?

Update 2:

Also, I've never been "turned on" by either gender.

And, this seems weird, but I think I'm attracted to Viola dressed up as Sebastian in the movie "She's the Man" (Amanda Bynes dressed up as a guy). And to the character "Victor" in adaptations of "Victor Victoria" (not the movie).

10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think it makes sense for you to start getting to the bottom of things now since you're transitioning to an adult so it's totally normal don't worry it happened to me too. As far as your crush on the boy, I think in a way yeah, you did really like him. I mean like you said, you thought he was "awesome" and i'm sure you really liked being around him which can be attracting to most.

    To me attraction is just something that is appealing to you. I really don't think it absolutely has to appeal to you sexual but, it is something that catches your eye and is different. For example, me and my girlfriend were at the mall the other day and we saw this real pretty boy type guy and we both agreed that he was attractive, obviously but, it didn't mean we wanted to sleep with him.

    I can't really tell you your orientation because that is something that only you know but, do me a favor and read your story over to yourself. I think just by reading it and really looking and what you chose to write and the words you chose to use would give you the answer you are looking for.

  • 1 decade ago

    First off, you sound like a normal girl to me. Most girls I know act the same way as you. Hell, as a man, my philosophy on women, is that there all lesbians deep down. Some repress the feelings, some live life lying to others about it. and then there is some that admit it when asked, and live a happy life with nothing to hide.

    Attraction for me is when I meet someone that stimulates my mind, and looks good doing it. lol. When I'm deeply attracted to someone I get a feeling in my chest that's overwhelming. It feels like my heart is twittering and thinking about that person makes me feel alive and great.

    I think you should stop thinking about what to label yourself and just be happy with who you are. When people are that age they question a lot of things, including there sexuality. Just live your life one day at a time and just go with what you feel right, and when I say right, I don't mean what society says is right, but what you feel is right for yourself! No matter what you choose in life, be happy that you have a chance to freely express your individuality.

    Oh, and p.s. don't listen to the person above me. Damn religious pricks.

  • 1 decade ago

    To me it really seems like you in a cross road between whether you like guys or girls...By reading this I would say that you could possibly be BI...Because of the fact that you like Leonardo and the fact that your looking at girls...But honestly you never really know until you date one or the other, you should really just find someone that you find attractive at your school or just somewhere and get to know them and see how your feeling towards them as a friend wheter it be a guy see if you could see yourself being sexual with him or whether be a girl see if you could see yourself being sexual with her.

    And with the Amanda Bynes dressed up as a guy you could possibly just be attracted to studs which are girls that dress like guys or you could be attracted to more sensitive guys..But like I said you'll never know get 2 know a guy you find attractive or a girl and she how you feel and then you'll know

    Oh yea and attraction is a feeling when you see someone and your just think that they look really good to and you could actually see yourself with that person..There cute, fine, hot, sexy, or whatever word you may use when you think someone is really good looking...But you could also be attracted to someone personality...Attraction can go alot of different ways

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You sound exactly like me, except I've never dated anyone.

    I find a lot of guys attractive, but when I think about kissing them, it just kinda seems gross. I am emotionally attached to guys. I would want to be best friends with a guy, just not be in a relationship.

    I am a tom-boy too, but I have more girl friends. I am friends with both genders though. And I do remember being more of "one of the guys", not a girly girl.

    I find women more attractive in so many ways. Also, a lot of guys are tough and annoying, and I don't like that. I just like girls more.

    Maybe you should explore your sexality and see if you like girls. It's possible that your sexually attracted to girls, but emotionally attracted to guys, like me.

    Email me of you have any questions :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Try to picture what body type turns you on more. For me, a guy's big shoulders, and sexy jaw and hairy arms just turns me on so much. But maybe you enjoy the softness of a woman, her gorgeous curves, flowing hair and luscious lips.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you're still young, you need some experience i'm saying that you should go out there and try, you know dating guys or girls, if you turn out to like one of them or maybe both! then it's solved, it's not really complicated!

  • Fo.B
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    can't say i can give you a good answer based on this information but you'll probably figure it out in time or maybe you're asexual though that's a chance of 1/100000

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your sexual side seems to be asleep . When it wakes up you may want a girlfriend .

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    experiment with both. try to picture a relationship with a girl(do you like it?) and if you're not attracted to either, look into asexuality..

  • 1 decade ago

    you were born straight god made you that way any thing else is from satan

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