Would you be comfortable with your man in the delivery room of another woman? (See details...)?
My man told me last night that a long time friend of his needed him to drive her to the hospital when she is to give birth next month. Thats completely okay with me.
He said that she may ask him to be in the delivery room with her as she has nobody there (her mother won't be there, her "babys daddy" won't be there, she has no one else).
I do understand that it would be scary having no one there, and they've been friends since high school (10-15 years). But I don't know how comfortable I am with having him in the delivery room for support/to hold her hand. I view the delivery room as a "special moment" between those there, and the next time he's in one is with me someday...
Am I overreacting?? :S
PS He said he won't voluntarily do it, but if she asks him, he will have a hard time saying no.
Thanks people... I will let him should he need to. I don't want to sound like "superb!tch" lol...
I don't think I'll ever feel 100% comfortable with it, but I wouldn't ever hold it against him. I'd let it go. I can understand that it would be hard and very scary for the girl. He would be doing a very brave thing. He's been through childbirth before (he has a 4 year old daughter), so he would be a good guy to have in there with her.
I'm just lucky to have someone with too big of a heart <3
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
If his friend has no one else and they've been friends for a long time, I would think it would be ok. Try to understand that she would need someone to reassure her everything is going to be alright. You could go with him on that day and wait for him in the lobby, just to give him support and to reaffirm that he is only doing this as a favor to her. And if you are slightly jealous, then after the baby is born go visit her with your husband (just to let her see the two of you together).
- 1 decade ago
I don't think you are over-reacting. This indeed is a very special moment for her, but it is not appropriate for her to ask your boyfriend to be there, legs wide open, for him to be a part of. It will change their relationship forever, as well as yours. It's like inviting your best friend for a threesome - thinking at the time it would be a good idea, but things will never be the same. Things will never be the same for them. I doubt if the baby's real dad would be thrilled that her old high school buddy was there to catch his child.
She has got to have someone else that she can bring into the birthing room - if not, she should do it alone. It's not like you are actually ever alone - I know It's hard to believe, but millions of women have given birth with the help of their doctors and nurses and did not have close family or friends in on the action. In fact (not that long ago), birth father's weren't allowed to come in the room while the baby was being delivered.
I wouldn't feel at all comfortable with this, unless you are invited too, then it might be a bonding thing for your and your boyfriend so that you, as a couple, can both support her. Seems really odd to me that she asked him - red flags are being raised in my mind about this situation.
- 1 decade ago
You're right when you say that its a "special moment." The happiest day of my life was watching my son come out of his mother and into this world then to my arms for the first time. I still can't watch a movie of a woman giving birth without a tear at least forming in my eye. BUT if you are POSITIVE that hes not or wasn't sleeping with her or anything than I would say yes you are overreacting. I mean its not like itd be any less special between you and him when your time comes just because hes seen it before. Its 100 times different when its your own child coming out. Hes just there to help her through a "scary" and possibly once in a life time moment. I would love to be able to say that I had true friends like that but theyre rare so if anything you should be proud of him. If I were to get my wife pregnant and then die I would hope that she has somebody to be there for her if she wanted/needed them to be since I'm dead and gone. This girls babys daddy sounds just as helpful if hes not even trying to be there.
Be proud of your man and tell him that your ok with it.
- Bridget SLv 51 decade ago
To be there as a friend is special too. The only thing he may need to do is hold her hand and tell her it's ok. With both my kids, my husband was there, and that's all he did, but it made a world of difference. Consider it a practice run for him, and bring her a gift when she's home.
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- xKLv 71 decade ago
I think you're overreacting. I would want to be there for my friend if she asked me. It is a special moment, but how special is it if you have no one to share it with you and no one who cares enough to actually show up? He'd be doing a very brave, very kind thing for her by being there.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
this is crazy!! having a baby is an intensely emotional event and may create a bond between your husband and another woman. I think it's a little like playing with fire and thinking you won't get burned.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It's simple. Share the experience with him. If he goes in, you go in..if not he stays out.
- shopgirl831Lv 41 decade ago
It would be very hard but I think that you should talk to him and remember its for support that is all