My boyfriend called me a dumb b*tch.. i just got over an abusive relationship.. help. 10 p for best answer?
i know it is long, but please please read and answer, i really need some help..
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months now .. and i slept at his place last night because he wanted to cuddle and watch a movie and pass out (which is what he told me ) and then we put on a movie and he wanted to have sex and i said no, i dont want to and so through the whole movie we never cuddled cause he was upset that we didnt have sex. I was really upset and pretty much cried myself to sleep (he didnt know that i was crying ) i woke up when he put his arm around me this morning and i thought he was just cuddling so i tryed going back to sleep and then he tried to have sex with me ( when he thought that i was sleeping) so i just rolled over so he couldnt. and then passed back out.. then i woke up to him again jacking off to porn.. and i was in a really shitty mood, but couldnt pin point the reason (maybe just pregnancy hormones because i am 15 weeks pregnant) and he asked me what was wrong and i said i dont know so he got pissed off. his friend phoned him and he told his friend he was in a shitty and pissed off mood and his friend asked why and he said he doesnt want to talk about it now.. so when he got off the phone i asked him why and he told me he didnt want to tell me.. and then he told me maybe i should leave because im not in a good mood so i got ready and started to leave and told him, well i dont know why your so pissed off but call me, and he said "its all your fault, you should know that, dont call me for a few days " so i left.. and he called me but my phone was in my purse so i didnt feel it and he left a voice mail swearing and called me a dumb ***** for not answering my phone.. and i just got out of an abusive relationship where my ex pulled a knife on me and used to tell me he was going to kill me and stuff and i dont want this relationship to be like my last. what should i do..
the baby is his .
- Next timeLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
Having been his gf for 10m months and being pregnant 15 weeks the assumption is he is the father of your unborn child. Ok next you have no real living relationship but you get together on as needed basis. Something like friends with benefits type of thing? right.Ok he has a purpose and a plan you have a plan with a different purpose. You want his attention but you want it to be appreciated for something other than a roll in the hey. He thinks you are already pregnant so what is the big whoop todo.
You are not satisfying each others needs and you are failing to communicate. He is going to blame you and you are going to blame him. the problem is which one of you will back off and put on your thinking cap. If y0u continue to not participate sexually your welcome will be less and less tolerated as your belly gets bigger and bigger. maybe you should be a little more out going now and explain how you are beginning to feel.
Here is a hint maybe he needs you more than you need him. Maybe you are not as active as you used to be and he is still not aware of the changes going on in you. I have no real way of knowing what his state of mind is except he was dead wrong to speak to you in that manner. he should never call you a name. If he does that now expect it will be worse as time goes on. Do not allow him to treat you that way.
You may have to look well beyond his and your emotional instability and formulate a way and means of being together when the child is born and your body will not permit intimacy not will the desire be there for at least 6 weeks. Start your dialogue now. Get him to **** off as often as he has to now.So that when you cannot he does not find porn as the recommended source of inspiration for a loving relationship. Bend that propensity.
here is my point. Start now to listen to each other. talk out your differences. Expectations lead to disappointments. Clarify your wants and identify your needs. be honest and respectful to each other
- Opin~YunLv 41 decade ago
DO NOT put up with that!!
If you are already pregnant by this guy and he treats you like that, how do you think it is going to be any better as you get even MORE pregnant and then have a baby to take care of??
This seems like it all started because he wanted sex and you didn't. If that's all it takes to make him act like a you-know-what, he is a selfish turd.
You deserve better. Follow your instincts and Dump Him NOW.
- 1 decade ago
Hi there.....this sounds so like my ex who was very abusive...he never hit me, it was all psychological.....he used to want to have sex with me, at the time i was on the pill so i wasn't in the mood and he used to keep nagging me and if i still refused he used to shout at me, call me a *****, he threw a towel in my face once, he pushed me as well and shouted in my face, mocked me for being fatter and used to look at me like he was gonna kill me....he was horrible.....please listen to me with this.....you have to find someone better, he is using you, these men are nothing but scum, you need someone to love you, respect you and treat you right....who gives you a cuddle and doesn't expect sex, he should understand that you may not want sex, it is your body and your choice.
you also have a baby on the way, think..do you want your little baby growing up around someone like him? what if he hurts you while you are pregnant and you lose the baby? what if he hurts the baby later on? you can't risk it....you'll live your life in fear.....please move on, i did and i never looked back, i am far happier now and i have way more confidence. I hope this wil help you and i hope you make the right choice :) good luck and congrats on the pregnancy :)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Alright, it's obvious he is trying to be manipulative. Also that he isn't good at it at all. He tried to make you feel bad for not putting out, it worked, but it doesn't get you in the mood. Nor would it for anyone. All you have to do is let him know, without escalating the situation, that you won't stand for the abusive language. Take it easy and don't let it get to you. Good luck.
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- Salt and PeppyLv 71 decade ago
You need to tell this guy that he needs to straighten up, or ship out. You WILL NOT put up with abuse again, be it physical or verbal. Period.
And, you know what? If he doesn't get it, you don't need him anyway.
You didn't say if the baby is this guy's or not, but if it is, don't think you need to stay with him because of it. You can both still be in that baby's life, even if you are not a couple. People do it all the time.
Good luck, hun.
- 1 decade ago
Speaking as a couples therapist, there is little that is healthy in what you posted. You are far better off spending time to yourself in order to figure out why you gravitate toward "men" who treat you poorly. Very often, our relationship choices are based on past treatment of significant others in our lives (parents, etc) and/or linked to poor self-esteem.
He sounds like he could potentially be abusive, or at least verbally abusive. Draw the line, you need to tell him that if he continues to call you names he's going to lose you. No guy that loves you will force you or get mad at you if you choose not to have sex with him.
wtf is wrong with this guy, I think you should have a talk with him, explain to him that you just get in mood swings because of the fact that your pregnant, you can't handle that and just tell him he needs to make some sacrifices as well, I'm sure he'll understand if he really loves you, Good luck.
- DasteLv 41 decade ago
You're a moron, he's a douchebag. You need to leave him and find someone that's not going to treat you like crap. My god you women are stupid nowadays for putting up with this kind of ****.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Harsh .. Its his fault expecting sex. I have done this before LOL.
Talk about your needs with him, if he can't manage move on I guess.