Pammie
Lv 6
Pammie asked in Society & CultureHolidaysRamadan · 10 years ago

Ramadan - question about Muslim woman married to non-muslim man?

OK now that I am fetting familiar with alot of you, I have a serious question and need answers. Some of you are aware that Im a revert and Im married to a non muslim man. I am aware that a woman of Islam cannot marry a non muslim man but what about one who reverts. He will not come to Islam, I know that. He is 18 years older than me and his health is very poor so I basically take care of him now. He has COPD and has had 2 heart attacks already. His heart only operates at 65%. I try to make life as easy for him as possible. He is more of a father figure to me now and in May we will be married for 25 years. If I leave this man it would be devastating on him. Is there anything according to Islam that I can stay with him until his death. For I fear if I would leave him it would cause his death. I donot want that on my hands. So what next?

Update:

Thank you everybody, this has been a big relief on me. I am living this in secret though, he is Christian but would have an outburst of my reversion. I once wanted to go to another denomination in Christianity and he refused me. And I am living as a nurse only for over 2 years now. Not as a wife. Nor will I ever be able to live as a wife. But I will followup with online couselling. This man can be verbally and mentally abusive so I cannot just opening start talking about Islam but I have been praying. Thank you again and please pray for me.

17 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    Salam

    that is not really true Pam, you guide him along the way and pray for him and hope that Allah SWT guides him from your example. Muhammed SAW said a woman has a choice and you made that choice before Islam.

    You can either find another husband or be content with what you have and show him whatever light he will accept as a mercy and blessing with always the clear warning. Also remember what brought you to Islam and that also can be what could bring him since you are both in the same space Al hamdoullah.

    In all conclusion we know there is no compulsion in religion and that your husband is with you by choice of Allah SWT. If he guided you to Islam then he has been guiding you all your life.

    For those whom are in the guidance remain in the Guidance Al hamdoullah and those whom are astray well they did that to themselves by their own hands. Only can walk back to Allah to have that removed and become of the guided again. Such as you did.

    So Al hamdoullah Rub Alameen, may he revert when Allah SWT shows him, not when we force him and he runs away. You be yourself and do what you do best, and make it better. You can always use time to talk about the blessings of Allah and mercy of Muhammed SAW, but remember not many want to hear all that. Remember yourself before Islam. There was a great wall to climb or knock down and media nad so on has brought ignorance to the wall. So we know how to deal with such things, but it takes time.

    Khair inshAllah

    edit: Your question makes it sound like you are married and now your saying you are not? The Question is misleading. Post the question again and state the proper facts not your feelings inshAllah

    Source(s): He is Christian or believes in God then he is of the faith. I earge you to finish the book and then go back and read it again for the rest of your life, that is the guide to all things and then Muhammed SAW to Adam A.s. you will see, Allah SWT has given all things in perfection Al hamdoullah Ankaboot
  • 10 years ago

    Assalamu alaikum my dear sister pam. You are the honey of your husband.Is it the reality in your life or is it just as your fiction or illusion?If it is in reality that your husband is a non muslim whose age is older 18 years older than your own age and now he has long illness you must keep be patient.

    You know that a muslim woman including the one who reverts, could not marry non muslim man. You are right but you must try without force to teach him how well about Islam. You must make supplication or du'a to Allah for changing his heart into Islam after you made tahajud shalat.

    You must take care him as easy as possible just like caring your own father although he is not a muslim.By giving care we hope he will think that Islam is very perfect and the only true religion.

    You can stay with him until his death but you should treat him not as a husband because in line with the Qur'an and hadith the muslim woman is for muslim man. You marriage is invalid in line with the Qur'an and hadith.In your case,mankind and humanism involve the important role.

    You must treat him well in his remaining life based on that basis.

  • 10 years ago

    Asalam Alaikum

    In general yes you are to leave him if he does not come to Islam. But with that said I think your situation maybe different as you are not living together as husband and wife, but more as nurse and patient. I would say you need to go to someone with knowledge and explain your situation and get a fatwa for you. We can all post our opinion and even give you fatwas but with something this important you really need to get a fatwa just for your situation.

    May Allah make things easy on you and give you want is best in this life and in the next. Ameen

    And Allah knows best

  • 4 years ago

    Dear, No, they are not at fault at all. In Islam, marriage has some priorities. Marrying a muslim woman is better than marrying a pious christian or jewish woman because she will of course help in keeping the same religion. Marrying a pious christian or jewish woman is better than marrying any other woman because she would avoid doing bad things. Islamis religion tries to keeps people who are near to the religion in the first priorities.

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  • 10 years ago

    Salam alykum, sister. I remember someonoe posed this type of question to Dr. Zakir Naik. And his answer was like this:

    If the reverted sister(you) believes that she can convert her nonmuslim husband or if she thinks that there is good chance she can convert her husband....then there should be a limited period of time she is allowed to remain with her husband. But remember this time should not be too long(zoran: i think about 1 to 3 months/menstruation/iddah time. Pls check)

    But if the wife dont think his husband will convert after some confrontation then the wife should stop the sexual relationship immediately, treat him as a non-mahram and wear hijab in front of him and get seperated asap.

    Zoran: considering your husbands condition if you try hard you can convert him inshaAllâh. But God forbid if you cant convert him you can still take care of his health as a nurse but not as a wife. And Allâh knows best.

  • I wish what watwat said was the truth, but islam teaches that if a woman converts and her husband does not that she must divorce him and marry a muslim. Even if that woman is you and has small children she must leave him and raise her children as muslims. As you know marriage is half the deen .

    Personally I think what you're doing says a lot more about a person than what Islam tells you as a revert woman to do.

  • 10 years ago

    Forget stupid retarded religion and stop worrying about things that dont matter - make the most of your life while you both still can. Why do people revert to religions - i will never understand!

  • 6 years ago

    yes im Aziz agadjari iranian muslem i live in Linz Austria im singel i want Lady to marry if you have to marry ansewr me my id zorozurich@yahoo.de thank you

  • M S
    Lv 7
    10 years ago

    salam alikum

    may Allah bless you Pam

    act as his nurse not his wife

  • 10 years ago

    ask for fatwa (a legal Islamic opinion) from your local mosque or right here

    http://www.islamqa.com/en

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