I don't go out & get drunk like everyone else, i don't even want to, am i weird?
I was in tears tonight, because i saw photos on facebook of my cousin, same age as me, who i thought would be more reserved like me, at a party with loads of kids from my school, with cider in his hand. I just felt like everyone else who's "normal" wants to go out and party, get drunk, and i'm just the weirdo who doesn't. I feel like even my cousin would dismiss me, and think i'm a freak. I was crying earlier.
What i fear makes me weird is that i don't even want to go and get drunk at parties. I'm quite frightened of getting drunk - i don't want to say something embarassing or do anything stupid that other people can call me for.
Part of the reason i'm reclusive is my eating disorder, which i'm recovering from, that has made me quite solitary. I hung around in the library on my own at school, as i skipped lunch, so i wasn't speaking to any other kids. I never had other kids' numbers to go out at weekend like everyone else. I ended up alone, and it's gotten to the stage where i now don't have any close friends who i can hang out with. I'm not even sure i want to hang out with anyone, i feel so uncomfortable around people.
I have a psychotherapist, but he said that he likes getting drunk in one session, so now i think that he'll laugh at me and think i'm odd if i tell him about my social problems and worries about drinking alcohol. I think that he will think i'm boring, like everyone else my age will.
Please help me.... thanks =D